perhaps that was the only chance in our lifetime. end of dec, i'll change this whole blog.. maybe in this lifetime that will be the only memories left behind..

where is the 'me' which people once know. where's the strong spirit which i once have? why did i fall deeper and deeper into it?

took medicine, feeling so drowsy. parents go msia again, 3 times le since monday. hais no choice still need cook lunch for bro and myself..

monday
went school. drank so much water. throat still no change.

edited
tuesday
just came back from school. this morning dad fetched me to a bus stop to take my 151 bus. felt super cold though i was wearing so many layers. reached sch felt so hot, think got slight fever. msged my dad cos my parents are in msia today so they told me to see a doctor after sch. i still rmb last week my mum kept asking me to see a doctor cos of my sore throat but i refused thinking it's a sore throat only plus consultation fees are ex, seeing a doctor can cost more than 30 bucks. right now ive slight fever and i got to see the doctor myself.. wish i can recover quickly (:

last nite when i was going to sleep, i coughed badly can hear phelgm at my throat, i nearly choked cos cant breathe. my nose is blocked too. my voice became worse, for a moment i can talk, a moment i lost my voice. i thought a fever would be coming my way. when i woke up this morning it was terrible. i feel sick and the weather was so cold, it gonna rain i guess. den all of a sudden, i felt so cold and lonely. i was thinking everyone has their own troubles and problems, i dont want to trouble anyone. study study study, hope i can do that and wish i got supersonic memory to memorise so many stuffs! right now is concentrate concentrate concentrate, cant wander my mind off somewhere else. hais my birthday is another headache.

went great world yesterday, dad fetched me there. all of a sudden i forgot where's great world and when i reached there i rmbed haha i went there with my cca pple for micromouse competition twice!!! how can i forget those happy memories there! we won the cutest mouse competition haha and all of us tot we wouldnt win cos our robot was dressed like a normal mouse whereas others look so professional eg a big JustTea drink packaging, many many different designs.. everyone was shocked why the judge chose our mouse cos it fulfills the theme cutest mouse ma haha. i still rmb i was standing at the stage area den all of us got no hopes at all. my cca pple were all sitting upstairs watching.. den when she announced our school i was like !!! den i was so nervous went up on stage shaked hands and recd the trophy, super alot of students, need to look at cameras too z. i still rmb it was chuiying and others who wrapped the robot up like a mouse.. all of us were so happy! after which when i graduated, heard frm emily they won the cutest mouse again lols! kk back to yesterday.. went mac cafe to drink since it was early for the movie.. watched madagascar escape 2 africa till 6, before watching it i tot it would be quite boring cos when i watched the 1st madagscar movie, it wasnt that nice. i was wrong! madagascar escape 2 africa was so nice!! it was touching too cos alex(lion) reunited with his parents.. melman(giraffe) confessed his love to gloria(hippo) and it was so sweet, it wasnt those sweet talkings like that moto moto(hippo) who tried to go after gloria cos he likes her but it wasnt love cos he dont even know what gloria wants and wad he likes about her. melman knew everything of gloria, he knows what she's thinking, everything, he cant do without her, as long as he has her, he's always happy. it was really sweet and romantic. after movie ate at Go Thai till 8.. walked ard went burger king to chit chat till 9 something.. i was dropped at redhill station den i took train home. reached home at 10 something ba.. i feel so bad, her fren dont wanna take the money ZZZ.

thnks alot baby (:

oh gosh 2 days ago i had sore throat, i thought i was fine after i gargled salt water. today i nearly lost my voice & it sounds so sore like a guy voice already o.0 those who called me today all asked me who am i, they tot it was a guy z i feel so... went boutique to help out with my aunty. business was quiet, now the market is not good as well that's why. lee kuan yew told us not to spend cos we never know there may be a crisis that will be approaching. helped bro awhile with his school flagday as well for his school foundation, my parents brought him to amara so i stood wif him outside tanjong pajar station. i was reminded of my sec sch flagday haha with my cca pple, fun!after which went over buy lunch cheap! 2 bucks only. did stock taking, counting and carrying up and down those clothes stocks. soon evening came, went food expo.. ate so many stuffs.. sharkfin, my favourite prata sausage haha those at taka knows, one spoon of laksa, tried many food, drinks.. home sweet home after that. cant wait for tmr! im fine no worries. i hope so.

flashing back to last dec, christmas, den it was new year, release of O results, still rmbed how worrying it was cos.. he made it.. how i went thru one by one to see which course can be entered and to make sure i'll choose the right course for him and see if it's beneficial cos it concerns his future.. i really treat it like im choosing my own school cos i was so anxious abt it. it was nth to boast about but i was just glad i get the privilege to be able to choose for.... den posting results came, was really overjoyed to see it was the first choice being given while others were not.. still rmbed he refusing to tell & tricking me abt the school and courses he was posted to ROAR haha. soon sch started, many books to buy, busier.. and it goes on.. all these are memories.. the past i guess? time to move on.

guess im too crazy le ba.. im obessessed with it that's why.


i better start my revision already!! feb is coming!! prelims time!!

i got to study hard! work hard for future.. next time be a housewife, stay home teach the kids their school work, prepare meals for whole family etc..

gone.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY KH! <3

will the good old days be back? how i wish it will.

i wish for a miracle.
just a simple wish..
to be with him for a lifetime.

the once bubbly & cheerful girl is gone,
her life aint the same anymore.
every nite without fail she dreams of him
but all were sad & heart-aching dreams.
she woke up crying every nite,
wishing the dreams wont come true.

school is like a chore to her,
she controls her tears all the time.
heads straight home after school
so that she can let go and cry.
crying is the only solution,
so that she will feel better.

i really love you alot. i seriously do. Lord, why torture me like this.