i guess there isnt any chance. i'll be gone. unbelievable, first time it happened.

my parents are coming back today :) i woke up at 7am today to wake bro up & sis at 7.30am, drove them individually to hougang central only. we are fetching parents later from airport. it was sunday yesterday, aunts called to ask if we wanna go down to grandma's hse. i went buy lunch for siblings, maid and i.. dinner, sis decided to cook porridge with carrot, potato, mincemeat etc inside.. tasty.. so i took out fish, cabbage, lettuce.. and we stayed in kitchen to cook. quite troublesome cos got the dried shrimps with chilli to be pounded for the veg. maid fried fish. after which i fry veg that time, the fire was too big, maid turned bigger so the oil would be hot. in the end, after throwing garlic, it immediately became black lol -.- so have to restart everything -.- hence sis helped me.. dinner with sis, clark, bro and me. den i watched "daddy day care" again, and that zong yi da ge da magician show.. and nite time talking with godbro again.

i am too lazy to post any pictures here though ive plenty of pics in my phone. nothing much yesterday, headed to bedok to change my earrings and get my top. decided to walk round since i was there already but was pretty paranoid about some stuffs hmph. this was one of the very few days which i had to fret over what i can do.

next destination was amk hub & though it brings back memories of the past, i dont yearn for those flashbacks. i was not hoping to see that person but same time i wanna show to that person how well i'm coping (: went to someone's house to take a look at the hamster accessories, simply cool. PLENTIFUL. spent 14 bucks.. hougang mall.. home at 9 something.

tired T_T.

sis woke me up at 8.50am to ask me to drive her to hougang station, so i changed den drove her to kovan station instead. drove home, waited for bro at basement carpark to drive him to hougang interchange too. decided to park the car and buy beehoon for breakfast for maid and me, and soya bean drink. went home to eat, used com. bathed get myself ready to leave hse to buy phyllis's present.. went hougang mall at 4.30pm to buy my lunch z den looked for her present, and to ntuc to buy chips, bought 5 packets since phyllis msged me to buy chips. headed to cityhall station, to suntec city fountain terrace. finally found her & her bf, with ho ying and serene, we walked round to see which place is halal since siti is eating. den decided swensens, walked back to suntec entrance to meet JR for my hamsters stuffs. thankfully he walked to suntec to meet me though he's meeting his frens at marina square. walked back to swensens, cheryl soon came.. ate curry chicken baked rice, we are treated to ice-cream.. 2 of phyllis's nus frens came followed by siti.. paid up, i went withdraw money to pay cheryl back cos at swensens had no cash lol. walked to marina square den to marina mandarin hotel. some pple are inside le.. den we pl girls chit-chat and talked about our primary to seconday school times tog, i didnt meet most of them ever since 2004! had a great time catching up with them. den played this board game called BANG with the nus pple, im the odd one out :/ played till 11plus den cake cutting.. 20 over of us in a hotel room watching tv, playing board games, poker cards lol, taking pics -.- soon 11.25pm, all of us pl girls left quickly to catch last train. den the guy from nus also followed us.. den only me, cheryl and him walked to the main cityhall station while the rest walked towards circle line. took train back alone den bus back, but thanks to kor... guess tmr im heading to bedok, amk.

many stuffs to do tmr. need to buy present, go amk if possible, collect from JR the hamsters stuffs which i asked him to collect from the forum person for me in his school. so qiao both of us will be having dinner at marina square lol, den after dinner with pl girls, head to the hotel tog. nite will be phyllis party at marina mandarin hotel, 8pm. 25+ pple :/ i only know 6 pple lol from there. not sure what fun they gonna have and what games :/ but i'll not stay overnite since my parents will be overseas tmr. waking up at 5ammmm to see them leave for airport. and guess i'll catch the last train after the party or else my parents will be worried for me if i go back middle of nite which i never before in my life lol -.-

wanna buy this top, so sweet haha.
https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj3QqV_40sz4c5Ikx3v5oyJF73Vk4AlE8QJPvIBWXmDk00owRu6joKJciZ_3u05OQC0fQpD9WaGW53T6lxQ-eFRCwXeoo2d1xZXfu5pTOlisfPMe9ipfF-WH4c2el783yVsTmKUuw/s1600-h/grey2.jpg

done with 2 cupboards with dad (: shall update tmr. gonna get busy soon. alr busy with many stuffs. sian the pics are all gone :( shall use the scenary pics from korea trip. yest at home doing bible study at living room, dog is following me everywhere as usual till my mama come back home den kick me aside alr lol -.- she's like a leech lol. i go toilet also go, living room, kitchen, everywhere.. she'll follow and must follow close, side by side, sometimes i'll fall and trip over her -.- she's so cute. den when i see her sleeping, i'll slowly and quietly tip-top to my room, she didnt notice but she's a light sleeper so she'll definitely open eyes every min den when she sees im not in, she'll wake up and walk to find me. den i'll be hiding in my room den BOOO her =x im so bad. sometimes i'll hide in bomb shelter to play hide and seek with her, running from my room to there after she found me in room. she creeps in the room slowly de, her actions super cute. she's also guarding the new hamster cage zz till she sleeps infront of it. brought her for walk, so excited as usual.

/edited
26/5 - at parents' office, typing new sample stocks..

hais i guess it's really nth afterall :(

/edited
all i can say is God has eyes to see. some people say and do some things infront of frens to show how good they're on the surface, but actually they're not by their actions. zz anyway not related to me lol.

some reflections..
Im starting work in june, gonna pay my own handphone bills le, but im glad i didnt exceed at all for more than a year alr, save $ for parents since they're paying the bills now, 24+5(caller ID)x 1.07 (gst) = $31.03 exactly every month. but anyway for more than a year, ive been supporting myself already, my own lunch if mum never cook soup on that day & expenses though im not working since ive savings from young. thank God for my parents that i dont have to worry about my education fees. that was wad i told my fren yest when my fren asked, he too borrowed $ from his parents for his trip & gonna pay his parents back after he finishes uni and work. plus, i wanna keep hamsters on my own accord so im paying all my hamsters stuffs by myself which really cost a bomb cos of food, cages, bedding, treats, gnawing pieces, water bottles, etc.. now im gonna get another cage cos babies hamsters born zzz and ive been hesistant to get one since the hse is already full of cages & tanks which i know im not supposed to keep so many. ive been keeping for near a year le. i wanna work & in the midst of sending in plenty of resumes & going for interviews or else my money just keep depleting, still rmb working in iras when i was 19, waking up every morning at 6.30am, taking train to novena in the crowded train squashed like sardine every morning at 7.30am. it was a nice experience cos u can see how busy everyone is, running for work lol. i never wanted my dad to fetch me there & back from work, since he's already old le, let him rest more plus is my job, what for trouble my dad, not my dad's work but our dad loves to pamper us ZZZ. my dad is already sick that day, weak all over in the office. now im gonna bring dog for walk since the last time of her walk was feb during cny when i was at grandma's hse with her other than at the dog farm recently.. i felt she's very poor thing, never go for walk often, less than 8 times in her 2.5 years stay with us ZZZ :/ i see one of my fren bringing her dog for walk everyday after her school or work even when she reached home at 10pm, salute to her. though starting we go for walks, cycling and we'll bring her along, soon everyone is lazy for walks. after that, gonna collect sachi's food at hougang station cos she has no more food for a week le, also bought hamsters bedding, treats & a cage from the blogshop, finally can meet that girl cos arranged for quite long already since her supplier is delaying :/ time for walk with dog.

yest, cupboards & benches, tables came already from IKEA. i was having piano lessons. it arrived early than expected. den my fren wanna come over to hougang mall for lunch, so drove to my hse to pick me since i need to buy my lunch myself too, den went to hougang mall mac to eat the mcvalue lunch. after which went harvey norman as my fren needed to change the tripod stand, den to popular to teach my fren how to make a scrapbook/album for his gf lol since he wanna make one. went home after 1.5 hours.. at nite, dad and i fixed the DIY cupboard for more than an hour, 3/4 done only, left with drilling of brackets for the door. that's only one cupboard -.- still got another cupboard since my parents bought 2, one for me, one for sis. mum took pics of us at work for the cupboard, in any contest held by classfied for father's day asking to send him pics of u and dad doing stuffs tog, can send in this haha!

went church yest morning with parents, to hougang mall after that for lunch. went home with dad after dabao-ing food for siblings. there was youth global day of prayer at max pavilion at 3pm yest but it was too late. so we decided to attend the adult global day of prayer at 7pm at indoor stadium. didnt want to go actually, but bro was very enthu about it zz so i went. dad fetched cousin to my hse, den brought us to paya lebar station & we took circle line, first time trying the 2nd phase of circle line. stadium station is so big and so convenient, right infront of indoor stadium. waited for sis den we went in tog at about 7.40pm.. wah it was so big inside, quite filled up, christians from all over singapore gathering there. and the place was quite hip-hop cos there was a concert on sat nite till 11pm lol, wonder whose concert was it, so all the set-up are left there. everything ended at 9.40pm.. took circle line home, crowded of course. den dad fetched us from hougang station, sent cousin home, home sweet home.

went ikea just now with parents cos sis wanna buy cupboard and shelving for her room. i had no intention to buy anything though i really love many stuffs in ikea. den mum was asking me to buy one roller shelving for me, i was like huh.. den sis saw a cupboard she likes alot.. den mum said get one for me also.. i thought not a need for me hence i told my mum but she insisted on getting for me zz. gonna go ikea one day in the near future to buy the stuffs that i want with my pay when i work (: i have plenty of things to buy from ikea. wanna deco my room with my own pay!!! problem is finding temp job in banks is a big problem z. bro got a small table for himself, sis got photoframe, plastic boxes, nice solid box, baking thingy.. went information counter to get info about the cupboard. tedious cos went back to second floor.. den find info about it.. den went info counter, he said go first floor, so went back zz. after everything, went line up, dad paid for everything.. 800 over dollars, my dad shaked head :( lol z. anyway cos the cupboards cost 426 le. den got benches & tables for roof garden.. went to changi village for dinner. yummy food. stingray, kangkong, egg, mussells.. den 2 fried tapioca cake from the famous stall. home sweet home.

just read a girl's blog today, saw the post on national family celebrations which i find it interesting. http://www.nfc.sg/ i even sent in the pledge thingy. anyway i really think she's good, trying to bond family tog by doing activities together, spending time with family.. it's really niceee.. i saw 7-eleven selling kites yest, was tempted to buy LOL. still rmb my parents, bro and me going to changi beach and it was pitch dark, seeing aeroplanes.. though it was not much of an activity, but under many stars & a moon, watching aeroplanes flying over our heads, cheering and guessing which plane was it, we enjoyed ourselves (: i wish i can organise one outing together. though my family has been celebrating every single one of our birthdays yearly without fail, dinner tog on weekdays & sat, lunch on sunday & dinner at grandma's hse unless something crops up as well as yearly holidays. however, we have not done activities like cycling for a long time, visiting attractions etc.. i hope to do so.

now i realised many pple like SNSD lol? i saw the pics, really pretty, like yuri, jessica. even my sister is also printing piano scores of their song like run devil run. i went comics connection, saw their pics, yuri is so pretty. maybe i shld also learn to play snsd songs. like this picture below, the girl right in the centre is so pretty, wonder who she is cos all of them look different zz. now im helping cousin dl private ms and it's super cool cos we're using teamviewer so im controlling her computer lol -.- just now helped mum find umbrella manufacturers. last nite helped mum recreate facebook account till 2am with mum telling me to put which pics etc, haha super funny.

yest didnt go office. cant believe i slept for so long. den i quickly bathed, bought lunch from hougang mall, my stomach was still in pain even till now. went home ate lunch, den went with maid to doctor to bring her for medical check-up. in the end, clinic closed le, 7pm open again. so went home, decided to pack my rooms as my notes are all over the room. finally packed everything. cooked rice at 7pm.. den went off with maid at 8pm to bring her for medical check-up. so funny la, she dont dare to go in the room alone zz, she scared she dont understand the doctor, i said he knows how to speak indonesian. she was at there, refusing to go in lol. den went home.. dad cooked dinner, as usual just help set up table etc...

im constantly thinking what you are doing now.

dad fetched me from hougang mall, went parent's office, didnt want to go out. tagging, labelling new clothes stocks etc.. till 8pm. drove home, fetched bro from home, ate dinner with family. home sweet home.

tell myself to wake up! what am i thinking aw. im really silly. gonna disappear. im running away from the situation i guess. out of so many, pian pian shi ta.

ive too many photos to upload to fb but i didnt, all in my handphone. hmm anything can happen in our lives, sometimes the things u want would not be yours. that's life. sian wanted to go sis graduation ceremony today but there's only 2 invitations. my parents didnt know i wanna go though i woke up at 7.05am but just lied on my bed lol. this month is happening.. there's phyllis bday pt on 27/5 at marina mandarin hotel, dinner on 26/5 before her party starts but i cant make it. in the midst of arranging a gathering this month for jc clique for joyce's belated bday but our schedules are all different. 29/5 is dinner at tampines sakura with cousins to celebrate one cousin 21st bday. parents going on business trip from 27/5 to 31/5. i have yet to call my grandma to ask her to come over to stay. and everyday i would be playing taeyong wedding dress zzz with other songs.

on tues (18/5), i stayed home to finish up my bible study and my dad called to ask if i wanna follow him to send samples to customers. in jurong. but i was too slow, hence he left without me z. watched yu le bai fen bai, was touched by what the girl said too. it was an episode of the guy choosing one girl out of 3. the last girl said she has no figure, no looks (as compared to first 2), but she has a kind heart, good character, which i think is very impt. even the guy also feels so. it's obvious that the second girl was too skimpy dress, knowing that she had to show the CPR thingy, she still wore a short tube dress zz. den had bible study at nite, followed by fellowship.. on the way home, it was a funny scene cos dog was in the car.. suddenly she kept whining non-stop. i was thinking perhaps she needs to shit. so dad was chionging home, den sis carried her to the car mat placed with plastic bag den tell her to poo.. den sis tot she finished poo-ing, pass over to my side, in the end she was urinating zz and haven finish. den my sis leg got urine zz den car seat all got, our footwears all got zzz. funny and chaotic scene. reached home ate dinner den bathed dog.. den sis blow dry while i carried sachi..

yest (19/5), woke up late, went office with parents. mum told me to sew up those belts, sweet and pretty belts but the glue used was not sticky enough hence the ribbon thingy is dropping out.. so i need to sew all four corners of the belts.. did it in the whole afternoon and soon later watched jiu xiang lai zhe ni while sewing. continued watching after sewing, was laughing so badly, parents kept asking me what happened. i said that show is really funny, the one which i asked them to watch every sat on channel U. ella is so so so cute & jerry yan's reaction is so funny when ella had to hold hands with that guy and walk along the path while jerry yan's following them. before that jerry was teaching ella what are the donts with a bogus bf, it was so funny and sweet, i kept laughing haha. soon, it was time to go back, drove home.. ate dinner.. had piano lesson.. BC called me at 2.14am zz, was stunned when i heard a girl voice calling my name with BC number, but actually BC was playing with me dots, i nearly died while i was training. yest nite my hp was busy but im busy at com, just neglected my phone. im pretty noob, that day died 12 times in a row of few hours training only -.-

i shall post about mother's day another day since the photos are in the digi cam but is not with me. every year we'll celebrate mother's day with dinner, cake, DIY or presents bought, DIY cards etc.. however this year due to my exams, no dinner, but there's DIY cake, cards etc..

16/5 (pics to be uploaded tmr)

church in the morning with family, it was a great sermon, followed by lunch at hougang mall kopitiam. groceries shopping at ntuc, home sweet home.. soon, left hse for grandma's hse. just helped my aunt to fan the stove for the charcoal to ignite fire. both me and her fanned till... because the fire kept extingushing many times. den helped aunt do green vege, checking & washing.. den sis came in to wash cabbage.. den cos lots of green vege, took quite some time, washed second time after that. washing halfway, sis kept calling me to go out play mahjong -.- cos grandma kept chasing her to start playing den lack of 1 player zz. i kept saying wait but no choice, grandma really wanna play. anyway we play for fun just to accompany her & exercise her brains since she has dementia, no money involved. played for awhile den dinner time.. ate.. den played heart attack with 2 small cousins.. lime juice time.. den cake cutting for cousin's 21st bday.. chit-chat.. home sweet home.

17/5

met J at plaza sing at 12.30pm. coincidentally, qiuyi spotted me lol and i didnt know it was her when i saw her at hougang station. went withdraw money den to cafe cartel for set lunch. was pretty full cos there's main dish, drink, free flow of bread, mushroom soup and cake. after lunch was movie "The Last Song", wasnt that touching but still many of those scenes dots. after that, headed back to my hse. changed and went down for tennis from 5pm to 6pm. fun but my arms & legs are aching z. after tennis, came up to my hse to take a look den played some piano pieces..

my heart is thumping & pounding hard.

/edited
i realised ive not blogged about mother's day yet. shall do that tmr.

i have not gone out with any friends yet after exams, some on holidays, some having exams. i feel lazy to leave the hse too =/ having stayed in the hse or outside for some time studying z. today was time to bathe the hamsters since i didnt bathe them for super long due to exams and found one dead robo hamster suddenly -.- she was perfectly fine yesterday but was found dead under the toilet rolls that i placed in the cage. now there are 8 hamsters left. hais, it's saddening. anyway maid helped me with the washing of cages. soon we finished everything in 2 hours. in the end no time to bathe dog, perhaps tmr. went dinner with family at nite at the new kopitiam at hougang, eating the thai fish head curry, claypot tofu and mixed vege. bubble teas later & bro had his new bag.

Exams ended on 11th which was really early as compared to previous years exams - 23rd may (2008) and 21st may (2009). I ended exams the earliest compared to all my friends.

14th May
went SIM with dad to help sister submit her forms. the room for submission was closed and would only open at 2pm when we were there at 1 plus. my dad didnt want to follow me to the lecture room too and i didnt want him to go cos he and i feel that it's wierd where everywhere are students and he's a parent haha. hence we went down second floor, he waited outside the office and i went in. im glad i can submit the forms there and a helpful lady attended to me. since ive no idea what's the forms about, she checked everything for me and told me to fill up whatever that needs to be filled up like number of subjects my sis passed which i totally have no idea.. thankful that she helped me to see and i just write down what she told me to. after settling, went admin office to pay the bridging course for sis. we went home to fetch sis to let her see doctor, den i drove to office to fetch mum, dad drove mum and me to wholesales centre. as usual, i tried clothes for mum to see what she wanna order. den there was this particular wholesaler who was figuring out about one top as the manufacturer had done wrongly. 2 tailors was there to figure out. i wore it for my mum to see since she likes it, my mum taught them how to alter it.. den the staff immediately brought me to the boss in the office with a client in there, showing how it shld be done lol. after which went facial, was late, reached at 5.30pm with mum.. finished everything at 7.20pm, went raffles xchange to take a look at the boutiques.. den took train to boutique to settle some stuffs and ate dinner. during the train journey, my mum kept mentioning about her DMK shoes. she has been talking about it for days that it's very nice and she wanna buy for me. i told her it's alright, i can buy myself. she's so cute, kept saying nvm i want to buy for u, i said dont want, she also kept saying in the train den give the cheeky smile, making me wan to laugh only. den at boutique, DMK is beside it, she walked in le saying she buy for me cos i look nice wearing pointed heels, i kept saying dont want den walk away lol. den she laughed and walked away. soon dad came to fetch us, brought many stocks back. went old airport road with parents and bro, just drank soya bean, ate rojak & satay. home sweet home.

13th May
went interview yest at 2pm, i thought it was the postponed one but wasnt. quickly rushed there and it was raymond low organisation company. filled up forms and a girl was interviewing me and it turns out she's 22 as well. we chatted like frens too and she was telling me about the offers she got from banks and asked me to try as well LOL -.- though she's recruiting for her company. left an hour later at 3pm, headed to mum's boutique since parents are heading down as well. bought my lunch at 4pm.. ate at boutique, left with dad to send goods. i took over and drive to buona vista, den jurong, back to tanjong pagar to fetch mum & to ubi for tea break with parents den office.. dad dropped mum and i at hougang mall.. we went to a boutique, as usual i helped mum to try clothes to buy clothes samples.. after purchasing, to kopitiam for desserts den bought carrot cake for dad, home sweet home.

12th May
On 12th I went for an internship interview by strategic partners, honestly i didn't know what company it was, not even knowing the name, all i knew was the building at fuji xerox and the unit number. When i reached, i saw prudential & strategic signage and in my head was 'prudential again?'. while i was waiting for the other interviewee to arrive, i filled up forms and waited in a conference room. the lady told me both me and a girl will be interviewed by two managers and hence i gave her a stunned look. soon, one manager came and we were chatting happily lols like friends -.- talking about our lives & the other manager soon came in as well and joined in. 3 of us were talking about our personal lives Z. the girl arrived about 30 mins later i think, i saw her before since coincidentally she's from SIM too and they started the powerpoint presentation about the internship programme. pretty interesting and intensive, but whenever i see the word financial consultant or manager, my mind just shut off. im not interested in selling saving plans or insurances. so i asked the two managers what it's meant by financial consultant. one of them explained and i knew it's those sales line and i gave him that kind of look. he wasnt happy and some sort told me off indirectly that if we are not interested in that line, he suggested we shld not go into this internship programme. After everything ended, i left to go to mum's boutique to take a look den head home about 6 plus.. bought lunch zz. had piano lesson, den ate dinner.

how i wish i know what you are thinking.

finally my exams are over, Thank God but this year's time-table is really terrible, all cramped up, in the end had many overnight studying BUT i survived haha! one exam is 3 hours long. On 5th had exam as well as 6th, no choice I had to stay up till 5.30am and woke up at 8am. 2 nites ago i slept at 5am and woke up at 9am to study yesterday. Last nite studied till 3am and was awake at 8.20am.. had 2 papers today that's why. i only touched & studied msm at 1am last nite ever since my prelims in march but im glad the paper was manageable. but i had headache thruout the whole day, i had 6 hours of paper today like last year -.- didnt eat too since few thousands of us at hall 6 and 7.. it's impossible to find places to eat my lunch.. hence just walked to hall 3 after msm exam to use the toilet since the rest had super duper long queues. met DF, couldnt find him but only to realise he was only opposite me at the long walkway smoking -.- den went hall 9 for my exams.

back on 11th May nite.

Thank God for that 2 papers i took no matter what outcome it will be. 2 more to go. went meet jiamin for dinner, bro came along.. we ate at coffeeshop near hougang plaza de.. bought drinks too zz den bro still wan somemore drinks z cos thirsty.. den went walk ard as jm needed to buy her shoes, and her fren's sister bday present.. anyway meeting her tmr nite again. i got attracted to the bow clips i saw at chameleon. been finding that for ages online but so ex, and now it's at hougang mall, affordable price too.

/edited
next sunday is mother's day! so fast one year has passed. running out of ideas lol. stressed with exams, no idea why i felt so stressed up in my brains that i cough and vomited out but swallowed back =/ so hectic period. really prayed hard that God will guide me thru this period, for his wisdom, strength and understanding as i study.. so ultimately, working is still the best. realised many stuffs need to be done after exams. working from june onwards hopefully. den meeting up for joyce's bday in may. parents going overseas business trip from may 27th to may 31st, hopefully nth crops up in their office. attending talks in may. sis graduation on may 20th. attending the big seminar which parents are involved in june. parents are also busy with the new office, will be even busier when it comes to renovation. relatives organising genting trip - 17/6 to 19/6, wanna go but tough also.. wanna follow jm to msia too.. but i think the seminar date & trip dates will clash. cant meet up with marg baby & the rest on sat & next thurs with cheryl and phyllis cos of my exams but will meet up after my exams. and the movies are so tempting. almost everyone is discussing about iron man 2 and ip man -.- pathetic us can only watch after exams, by that time perhaps the movies aint on the cinema anymore.


sians my mind kept wandering about. concentrate on studying!!!