will blog soon. busy like a bee. i know how's it like working again. badly sick, my voice sounds like a man now :O

/edited. post is coming up!

i will never show my feelings. that's me.
i guess it will never come true.
what shld i do?

are they dreams afterall?

monday (19/7) & tuesday (20/7)
work as usual. everyday receiving all kinds of food.. i ate food from msia, hokkiado, USA.. still got more lol. they went holiday, came back all give whole office, 60 over pple ._. today got the stuffs from japan, den still got royce choco dunno from where. plus wang wang stuffs lol. i ate fan cai, raisin cream today from barcook or what, den bought apple strudel also lol. ate with mayyi on monday. i lost about 2kg when i started work, but now gained back 1kg.

sunday (18/7)
parents left in the afternoon for business trip to KL, back on wed early evening. since im working now, cant drive my bro to interchange or buy breakfast etc.. so the car will be parked in the carpark for 4 days lol. for dinner, both sis and i cooked, she's doing the frying while i put those ingredients in.. monday is here again, work tmr but i enjoy working there.. everyone is older than me except 2. mostly married with kids even at my section here, 25 to 29 of age, married with kids aw if not attached. i wonder where's mine :o seeing my parents so loving till now, 24 years of marriage, still as sweet and loving, holding hands even when they're outside etc.. now sachi doggie is sleeping on my bed lol, so cute. when i slept in the late afternoon till 8pm, she was sleeping on my bed with me too. right now, parents r still paying phone bills but mine is student plan, i cant wait for work to officially start, to be fully financially independent.

saturday (17/7)

it was a great day. shall not say much. main highlight is the dinner at nite. parents fetched their business ang moh prinicipal from australia from holiday inn hotel in orchard. i went down with mum to the lobby and waited for her. she came and i greeted her "nice to meet you" haha and shaked her hands. thruout the journey, my mum talked to her, with me joining in as well as she asked me how's it working in a bank. reached jumbo @ east coast finally. sat at sea side, so nice! we had kang kong, thai style garupa, claypot tofu, chilli crab, black pepper crab, man tou, drunken prawns, crispy sweet sour pork ribs.. foc fruits cos the boss is my mum's ex colleague.. both the ang moh and i busy using my dad's iphone cos she wanna show us how her hse looks like in australia and we're figuring out how to do certain stuffs lol, den both of us holding to the phone and looking.. den im attending to her, seeing if she finishes her napkins etc.. we sent her back to holiday inn.

fri (16/7)

in the morning, the lady incharged of our salary, etc came to talk to me about the salary stuffs.. den she said i dun nid my salary urgently arh? i said dun nid, den she said how come, ask money from parents. i was like no, i support myself for very long already, i dont take at all even if they give me. den she said aiya cos my clothes all dun nid to buy, also share with mum de. so i said yeah.. den she told me to wear cardigan, dont so sexy sexy LOL, later boss scold ._. my colleagues asked me what she told me, i told them and all started laughing.. den fire drill. i was super excited about it cos two UOB plazas are having fire drill but guess what. i was told not to go down cos i need to input some impt stuffs with another colleague which we learnt from the fund manager and they need it urgently. but in the end, our system was logged out too since it was idle for long and we do not have the pw, only our VP has. hence me and two other colleagues chatted.. she decided to buy one tights from my mum haha. in the end, they came back with ice-cream roars lol. den i kept saying, kept sighing why i cant go down lol, my colleagues kept laughing non-stop. i simply like my working environment though is stressed but the pple there are all nice!

thurs (15/7)

meet-up with 2 frens ever since early jan this year. had a great time. met at plaza sing, decided on manhatten fish market. went best denki with one (A) first, bigbro spotted me lol. we queued up for manhatten quite long den soon another fren B came.. den B suggested watching movie, so used A's iphone to check.. den A and me went up booked tixs, second row from front, Despicable Me at 9pm lol. soon it was our turn to eat at 8pm.. not bad food. ate till about 8.40pm, then left for movie. laughed like mad lol. home sweet home, plaza became like a ghost town. we took train back tog since all staying at north east.

just some thoughts for the day. we will never know what's gonna happen in the future, only God. indeed many stuffs change, some for the better while some for the worst. even though im at work, faced with those colleagues everyday, however it does not change the face that i still.. and now everything seems nothing. im trying all kinds of ways to hide it, to appear unconcerned yet deep down i so much wanted to... it's 2 months alr :O and my gosh, my frens around me all working in banks zz. 2 at citibank, 1 at barclays, 1 at ocbc, 1 at uob, 1 at hong leong etc..

monday (12/7)
shall post everything tmr. super tired. wanna watch finals last nite but didnt or else i'll be like a zombie in my office, cant do my work at all like the auditor, staring at his com, den dozing off many times. super funny cos he watched soccer last nite. everywhere i go now, i see the word octopus ._. i really wonder if it's really true or just coincidental.. but i know that only God can forsee the future. there's an application in facebook that states "Ask Prophet Paul the Octopus" lol!!! the funniest part is the bird in little india dots. when godbro told me that, i was laughing..

i love the floral & leopard prints tops & the black fluffy skirt. aw.

today is sat, i dont feel like going out lol. dog gets another fit all of a sudden when someone rang the door bell, she was so excited & dashing out of my room with me, barking and suddenly fell to the floor where her newspaper was in a fit. she's unable to walk, lying motionless on the floor. i was so scared, she kept whining. i quickly opened the door to get the food my neighbour made. sachi was wriggling all over the newspaper, unable to stand at all, den swimming position with her front paws wading, i quickly carried her up.. so sad. it's like the number 6 or 7 times i saw her in a fit le at home. so carried her and cuddle, let her relax.. she's shivering and shaking like mad. and soon she's alright.. time to bathe my hamsters again. and perhaps bathe sachi. i said i wanna make a maze for hamsters, yet i've not done it hais. guess i'll make a trip to hougang mall to buy my lunch.

yest was just another day at work and im so stressed though i love what im doing now, since it will be beneficial to me.. saw my sec sch classmate again, she's on an internship at uob by nus or smu, cant rmb which uni she's in. bought a cotton on cap last nite :O i like the color haha.

last thurs, 8/7 it was another wierd thingy at work. this other auditor came over & he told the auditor (let's name him J) that's sitting opposite me to change place, saying he shldnt let it affect him. it was just question marks in my head. den he insisted on J going over to his place to sit, and he immediately brought his laptop all over zzz. den J packed up, went over to his place. den this auditor just wore his ear piece and just did his work, it was so unusual for him to wear his earpiece. enuff of work. actually wanna go best denki myself to change my webcam because it was spoilt. in the end, coincidentally, godbro asked if i wanna go zara sales on fri. in the end, i decided that we shall go. after work, met at raffles place, headed to taka. at best denki, they needed like 3 pple just to check my webcam ._. one guy insisted there's CD driver, i said no there isnt, he can check other boxes if he wants to. another guy said my webcam is working alr. i told him on the first day he worked, but next day it didnt work at all on skype. i insisted on changing to the logitech brand and top up the difference but he said there isnt any problem with mine. if i still wanna change, i must pay 10% of the webcam price i bought initially too. i wasnt happy, decided to go to vacuum side to find my ex colleague vincent since i saw him last fri when i bought it. i saw so little pple at vacuum side again. i wonder where all the pple are gone to these 2 years. there were like more than 10 of us at there, it was like a market place. now only 2 or 3 lol? tried my luck to find vincent but didnt see him. turned my head away, suddenly i heard someone calling my name. my gosh is shaowei!!!! still as tall, handsome & thin with that angmoh look haha. ahh. both me and him ate lunch everyday tog at lucky plaza when i was working in best denki.. i was new in best denki and the vacuum side are all guys dots. beside my hand-held vacuum column was lighting, fridges, washing machines, all guys also, mostly 18 to 24. at that time i was 20. i still rmb brobro and R always asking me go for tea break tog, den we'll be sitting at taka canteen.. or sometimes i'll go with R to help buy stuffs for everyone.. den still rmb J at washing machine section, teasing me & questioning me whenever he sees me with different.. but it was super chaotic, my life was so complicated in there. it was a nice experience working there but super drama. back to the story, shaowei walked over with me & helped me haha. in the end i dont have to pay the extra 10%. thanks! after best denki, went ajisen to eat with godbro, ate cha siew ramen as usual.. went zara to see the sales after that, mostly M and L size. den headed to ion, went topshop/topman, zara, etc.. everywhere's sales.. i love the hats and caps at topman! just tried for fun. after window shopping was back home. parents fetched me at hougang station since they're there eating.

z nearly tripped over sachi doggie cos she's chasing after me but ran into my path when i said "let's go" haha. she's so cute, always wanna sayang her every morning at parent's room. just now my dad is saying he's like a taxi-driver again when i met him at hougang mall just now after my work. he's so sick now, not recovering, yet.. decides to play the piano few days back for wedding dress song & others, recorded it using dad's iphone, shall post one day.

im glad my colleagues are nice to me and they always stuff me with food z.. but there's overtime everyday last 2 weeks.. dog has been vomiting and poo-ing non-stop yest & today, and yest i kept having diarrhoea. i wonder if it's the wheat bread we ate :O today had two funny encounters at office. firstly was the guy who borrowed the trolley, he's working at the opposite unit for UOB though both units are joined to be one big unit. he wanna borrow the trolley at printing room where everyone will collect what they've printed. he came over to ask me if he can borrow the trolley. i was stunned cos the trolley is the property of the bank not me lol plus im just a new staff, he also knows. so i asked my colleague shouting across whose trolley is that, she said aloud can borrow.. so he went to take.. after that, he came back to return the trolley. i was asking one colleague about some work stuffs & he was explaining to me. suddenly that guy stopped infront of my desk and said thank you for the trolley. i was shocked, i seriously gave the stunned look den mumbled oh ok, dots ._. at 6.30pm, when i went back to my seat from toilet, i was surprised to see the 2 auditors there cos that particular auditor sitting infront of me was gone for the whole afternoon. den they were mumbling something i know and looking, i just refused to look at them. the other auditor said so loudly "you dont need me to spell out everything for you right" infront of me. den the auditor who sat infront of me didnt reply him.. -.- i wonder what was going on zz. im an introvert towards guy lol, in my office, i gave guys the cold shoulders but to all my female colleagues, im always joking & chatting with them happily haha.

everything happens for a reason. the more i wish for, the more it distants from me. i feel so helpless for the first time. i love to advise my frens, be a listening ear but yet i myself has so much problems in this area. time flys so fast, it has been near 10 months. Thank God for everything, for letting me move on. I just trust in Him for i know He gives the best to His children.i wanna talk to u but i am afraid.

my dad is sick since 2 days ago, he just called and said think he's not even recovering den saying he's a like a taxi driver for the whole day :/ anyway i think it's fun to take train, i dont really like my dad to fetch me even when im studying in school. now, i've started work since 11th june, i take train myself to work and back from work everyday though i sleep like 4 to 6 hours daily haha, i just stand & sleep in the train. every morning, my routine super standard. wake up, brush up, bathe, up to parents room, den sachi doggie gives that kind of cute innocent look den ears all down, tail also shake abit cos she's still in her dreams lol. den will be able to see she's trying to get out of basket den dont know whether to get out, den i'll tell her "let's go", den she'll jump up and kept shajiao, put two front paws on me den must sayang her. today i was busy looking for clothes in mum room hence when i said "let's go", she woke up and came to me, but i didnt sayang her. she used her front paws and kept pulling my arms, kept scatching non-stop till my hands are pain hence i stopped finding the clothes and sayang her lol till she has enough of it. den basic make-up for 5 to 10 mins, off to work.sigh i miss you.

i realised i didnt blog much abt my sister's bday & father's day which fall on the same day. on 20th june 12.10am, i gave her a surprise, using choco bread and skittles to do this. while i was doing, when it was 12.00am, i quickly rushed back to my room to wish her thru sms & on her fb wall lol. i also did a card for her with some pics in it, did it for past 2 weeks, more details in fb album. gave her 50 bucks also as present, more practical. she gave me a chanel perfume this year as my 22nd & 21st bday gift. so next year, her 21st coming, more surprise for her. next day was church with parents only, lunch after that. dad went home first with sis's cake while i secretly collected dad's cake & took bus home myself. dad saw the cake, no choice. parents went out, hurriedly did the big board for dad. den let siblings write on the card.
nite time was buffet dinner at some hotel, forgot name also zz, best ever eaten buffet, better than pan pacific, park royal cny buffet.. cake-cutting at nite..

surprise for sis at midnite
card+album for sis.
super big board for dad.

left is sis's cake, dad's right.
alr blogged about last thurs (1/7), went out with 4 of them.. den bought hamsters food & treats..

fri (2/7) - colleague gave me this hokkiado bread, caramel de cos i mentioned it in office so my colleague went buy.. den plus the pong pia from malacca.

after work, met L.. it took us a long time to decide where to eat. we decided on ion but all long queues hence went ngee ann best denki to search for our webcams plus his mike. den we're quite fickle minded. went ion to see again, long queue at imperial kitchen. went far east take a look, all full zz. i saw many familiar faces again ._. after walking so long, finally ate at 9++ i guess and it's back to imperial kitchen lol. oh ya went cotton on body to buy lingeries for mum, sis and me LOL. super erm ^^

oh ya thanks Q for the faceshop stuffs from korea (: blusher and masks.sat (3/7) - didnt go anywhere, decided not to go ndp rehearsal, too many stuffs to do.

sun (4/7) - church with mum only. den dad fetched us, bought lunch back home. rushed for the toy story 3 movie at 2.40pm. super touching. love this movie. i cried :/ but nobody knows lol. saw my schmate. den walked round suntec. saw paige chua, michelle chong and glenn ong. home sweet home. had a nice time chatting with xy. next twilight saga..

im too lazy to blog, everytime i log in but just leave it there. many grammatical errors i guess since im blogging fast without reading it. shall upload pics next time. it gonna be a super long post starting from 17/6 about my job, sister's bday & father's day, desaru trip, meeting up with frens. there's OT everyday lol but only for 30 mins to an hour but there's extra pay! im so sleepy everyday, slept for 4 to 6 hours daily only. everytime im squeezing like sardine on the train & i stood there sleeping lol. anyone at raffles place during lunch hour o.o? tmr going out with L after work.. have not decided place hmph. //why i told u that i decided to stop that because i didnt want my life to be complicated and messy again in that area. there's always false hopes, i cant take anymore shocks.

1/7 - work was great today, completed what i needed to do at 5.40pm hence i decided to do filing for them, so many to file again cos everyday we do plenty of lots and portfolios. i did the measurement today for the whole mth of june, i counted 5444 lots & 1000 plus portfolios for the measurement -.- did dividends & cash coupon transactions as usual. bought from the famous bread shop in raffles xchange since i always see long queues during lunch, decided to queue for it today to buy home for all to try. after work went home since it's still early. bro and i took went hougang mall to meet R, Y & Y's bro and J. ate dinner & catch up with each other.. bro didnt talk at all since he only knows J haha. we went hougang mall after that as i needed to buy hamster food and treats den renewed the card as well since it expired. home sweet home.

30/6 - pretty restless everyday. walked with colleague to clarke quay since he asked if i wanna learn how to walk to that station. so i just followed and alighted at hougang, and he at buangkok.

29/6 - i was so distracted at work hais.. saw sec 2 classmate at DMK raffles xchange, working at uob too. decided to meet godbro at ion, ended work at 6.45pm, met bro at raffles place station den we reached ion at 7.20pm. went ion food court to eat. my gosh just that nite at ion saw so many familiar pple -- my junior, pri sch best fren & bsf fren, junior's frens, sec 2 classmate, mum's fren & family, sec school senior ._.

28/6 - though it was dreadful to wake up in the early morning, it was enjoyable at work. bought a pair of heels z.

26/6 - Desaru Trip. woke up at 4am though i slept at 1am z. set off at 5.25am from home. reached around 5.50am.. soon the tour guide came, got up the coach, altogether 6 buses. went for breakfast first, ate prata, not bad.. den to kota tinggi museum, nth much lol. and to desaru fruit farm.. talks about honey.. had lunch there. splendid. so much food k but too many houseflies hence we couldnt eat in peace. there was buffet lunch as well as durian, nonya kueh & fruit feast, unlimited of them.. after that was ostrich farm.. most ostrich de. den dinner soon -.- chilli crab, lobster, canned abalone, green veg, sharkfin soup, deer meat, steamed fish, etc.. off to jetty for fireflies tour. super nice k. and everyone was saying that nite full moon hence the sky may be bright.. we set off at 7.30pm, guess what, the moon was so big and it was a crescent. everyone was wondering why -.- in the end, the following day i read on newspaper, it was lunar eclipse -.- i didnt take photos ARGH. but anyway we couldnt take any pics too, they told us not to take, no idea why. saw the fireflies so beautiful. the whole stretch of river are trees & bushes and mostly filled with fireflies. can u imagine, it's like sparkling christmas trees? after that, we headed back to singapore. cant believe we walked from furama hotel to chinatown station den took flights of stairs down, no escalator down -.- 4 of us carrying 8 big bags of food.. den we stood throughout the journey, someone gave up seat to grandma when we entered the train. salute to grandma, she can walk for so long. for the whole day, we're walking all the way for 14 hours on rocky roads. the roads are filled with stones dots and i wore heels the whole day >.< anyway more details of the trip, do visit http://www.desaruff.com/ it's really worth it.

25/6 - after work, met R, J, QY at Ion. met QY first den J came soon after.. walked round ion to take a look, wanna buy tako balls de den queued up halfway, R called me and said he reached le. we went dont know which jap place to eat lol -.- i never take note of the name :/ after that we went far east to walk and see. went Style to try the clothes.. nice but i didnt buy lol. home sweet home. grandma slept with me tonite since the desaru trip was the next day.

the lady on leave was back last thurs (17/6). we were noisy unknowingly & was so engrossed in jokes when we're working of course but there's too much info in my head that im mixing everything up. my desk is facing the auditor while the 6 of them are in one column.. so i roll my chair here and there.. my nickname by 2 of them is wild rabbit LOL. i left at 6pm+++.. friday (18/6) was another happy day with colleagues who are jokers, most of them are married though but they're young mothers haha, mostly 25/26 years old. after work was meeting mum den went off with her to kovan, order sis's cake.. den i secretly went order father's day cake.. ate steamboat at coffeeshop. nite time busy making sis's card.. den thinking of ideas also. sat was just buying dad's stuffs, making sis's stuffs, bought a pair of shoes shucks, i spent money again. dinner with parents at hougang mall. sunday morning was church with parents, lunch at kovan. dad collected sis's cake & went home. dinner at some hotel which was really good. my gosh, best buffet dinner ever eaten. better than the park royal CNY buffet dinner, pan pacific hotel buffet also.. and whatever buffets i went.

i dont like to fight for the things i want.. im afraid after hoping for too much, everything was just a dream. i guess now it is? im so afraid.

i was stressed up at work today, the supervisors are seriously monitoring me -.- i kept myself busy the whole day. about 30 mins to 6pm, my colleagues had nth for me to do alr hence i tried to keep myself look busy or else the supervisors will complain ._. i revised whatever they taught me cos i wrote it down. so many papers of words & print screens, like more than 20 pages alr. time to sleep. went back to hougang mall, brother met me there, bought dinner for me and him again. pay is pathetic, cos it's like an internship z, learning the stuffs they're doing to share their workload. went kodak to print photos as im doing card+album for sis's bday. guess tmr need to buy those materials to do the big board for father's day also. two big events this sunday. so im busy this week, rushing those items haha. cant wait for sunday! surprise surprise!just waiting for him to contact me but no hope//it's better to get a guy who loves me rather than me loving him only since i put 100% into it.

didnt post photos at grandma's hse de. see my cousins, they're siblings, so cute right with my hat. jonathon (2+ yo) & grace (5 yo). i told jon let's take pic & say cheese, he did that pose haha. and our food for dinner, is that much. parents sit at that table while we kids sit on chairs and sofa.

my sis took this yest ♥ love it. thinking of you all day long.

blogging fast hence pardon my poor flow of words & sentence structure, super tired, has been sleeping less than 6 hours :/ but anyway thank God for everything, for seeing me thru the past week & i realised how different i was as compared to sec school. i became so understanding towards parents during these years, i believe growing closer to God does really make a difference. last sat went cremation service hence i woke up at 6.30am also z. it was a sad day, i couldnt control myself and cried when the coffin was rolled in. went visit grandfather (mum's dad) for the first time at mandai crematorium.. went home at 10 plus.. didnt sleep.. accompany mum in the afternoon to wholesales centre. as usual, she wanted me to take this particular dress but i refused. den bro met us at there.. guess what, more than 10 big bags of clothes stocks, we went office to unload first, carried clothes stock that was like one packet more than 8kg up and down -.- so at uob, they tot i wasnt used to doing heavy work, but they're wrong lol. im used to it le cos go to hongkong with mum, have to buy clothes stock from early morning till at nite, non-stop walking & carrying clothes stock we bought for the whole day. so i got alot of strength de haha. left at 8pm plus back home, went tian wai tian for dinner..

sunday morning woke up at 10 plus for church, slept at 4am -.- so im seriously lack of sleep, i shouldnt have slept so late. church with parents only, den back home.. to grandma's hse at 4pm.. played with cousins, den mama asked me bring grandma out to walk.. she lead me to prime supermart and wanna buy many stuffs lol den of course as usual say dont buy. den saw aunties there lol -.- plus grandma's neighbour. den both grandmas are talking, super high. i walked back with grandma first, she saw her old neighbour den stopped to talk. the neighbour said he opened a provision shop at those lanes de but close le, so know my grandma super well le.. den dinner time at 6.30pm.. cousins playing with my hat LOL. so qiao M lived at grandma's hse that lane also -.- den he walked past, so went out talked to him awhile at 8.15pm like that.. last nite slept at 2am, cant sleep.

woke up at 6.30am today -.- dead tired. today i was like a zombie plus the train as usual was like sardine, had to wait for next train. i run to office lol and reached on the dot 8.30am LOL -.- den everyone is like so busy, kept typing and typing, passing documents here and there. guess what i filed more than 6 reams of papers into 20 different files cos i got no ID yet! my eyes are hurting cos the words are small & i have to see if they're receivables or settled, den according to different portfolios, securities and dates -.- and whether it's cash dividends or bond interest receivables, unit trusts or what etc.. i was going to fall asleep but i just did it non stop, walking up and down to get the files cos all in a room zz den punched all holes for so many reams of papers :/ and i finished everything within 2 days. my colleagues was shocked LOL! cant wait for wed to officially start processing everything and doing what my colleagues are doing as well. but i learnt many stuffs alr & helped them with their workload. went home after work, bought dinner for bro & me. reached home at 7.45pm. time to sleep.

busy at work as usual cos everytime i finish my work, i'll ask my colleagues if there's anything else that i can do. my id & pw, email etc has not been activated hence i cant login. my colleagues cant think of anything for me to do alr at the last 45 mins hence i revised thru what i wrote about all the steps & procedures i need to follow. time to sleep. 6.30am tmr morning, squeezing time in train even when im going home. been sleeping less than 6 hours le for 5 days le. cant wait for weekends. father's day and sis's bday this sunday.

friday (11/06)
first day at work @ uob plaza 2, raffles place. new colleagues. plenty of stuffs to learn. reminds me of iras but it's worse that iras stuffs. mine was corporate banking, under dividends.. did some stuffs that they taught me to do, im going to be given a ID and a desk plus personal email as well :/ actually supposed to meet B for lunch but too rush hence i went boutique to dabao food there to eat instead of going with my colleagues z. saw my aunty, she asked me to join her for coffee but i was rushing back to work. since one colleague was on leave, everyone was busy to teach me hence from 2+ onwards, i was filing so many reams of papers :O my colleague didnt tell me that i needed to file all actually but she told me one by one hence i went thru the same ream of papers 4 times. soon 6.30pm, left to meet bro at raffles place & took to bishan. dad fetched us to the funeral wake. heard that straits time reporter came to interview my uncle as they saw the orbitrary, and as mentioned in previous post, my mum's side was interviewed before by channel 5.. my uncle is in the midst of writing a book & is going to publish soon, named "Tears in Heaven", regarding downsyndrome children and his life with Ivy.. he asked a few pple to write a foreword and one of them was our minister George Yeo & my mum read it out during the funeral service today. it was a tearful night today, only relatives attended & some of my uncle's New Creation church frens. Ivy has lived for 46 years, though she has departed from this world, but she's with God in heaven. She will be free from all suffering.. though she aint related to anyone, yet my mum's side treated her like a real family member. R.I.P IVY. the more i look at her in the coffin, the more emotional i get hence i turned away. I can still rmb her happy face, always smiling though her mind is only in a state of a 2 year old kid.
i was so happy that u msged today.

yeah maybe afterall everything was just a dream.

life is so unpredictable & short. my mum's side has been taking care of this girl, Ivy since baby as her mum had difficulties taking care of her and she has downsyndrome. she passed away at the hospital today, she's alr 40 over years old. Previously she had some complications and was warded but was soon discharged. My uncle & mum was interviewed in 1995 under the channel 5 show "extraordinary people" and my uncle also appeared on those tv programmes quite a number of times regarding taking care of an extraordinary person though they're unrelated. R.I.P Ivy 10/6/10. I still remember my uncle teaching me recently this year about how to make her to say thank you by just taking a bread, putting infront of her, asking her to say thank you and she really did. that is the only word she knows how to say and you can see her gleaming with joy eating her favourite bread. still remember shaking her hand that day, she was so joyful. now she's gone. tmr service by New Creation pastor is at 7pm and my first day of work ends at 6.30pm tmr :/ my mum and uncle cried alot at hospital having lived with her for near 30 years, like real siblings already.

anyway, was at office on tues, did tagging etc.. den christine from recruit express called me regarding ernst & young job for 3 weeks which i didnt want, so short a period. den she called again & happily told me there's a uob job and of course i want it hence she sent in my resume.

on wed morning, went for interview at singtel telecom, there were 3 other girls from sim but i was just shocked by the job scope :/ left an hour later, walked to bus stop with a girl but i was lost as to which side shld i take. hence asked a bus driver and was going to cross opposite but guess what, it suddenly poured heavily, i was drenched -.- i walked back to the bus stop zz den recd a call to go for the uob interview at 3.40pm as i was shortlisted. i took to bedok interchange den walk around, bought lunch den home.. soon left for interview, was nervous, i was praying hard that i must get it since ive been looking for bank jobs. Thank God, she told me right infront of my face that she'll hire me & told the other lady to let me sign the contract. went over recruit express to sign contract too & back to uob plaza two to give the undertaking form.. went back home.. i will be working from tmr onwards at UOB plaza 2!

this is wad i wore for interview..

didnt blog for days already, im feeling sleepy now gosh. im breaking record, out for many days :/ so decided to go parents' office tmr to help. job interview on wed. shall post a short and sweet one.

thurs (3/6) - another shopping spree with emily & jasmine at bugis street. was late :/ shopped with emily first, didnt buy any after which jasmine met us. went walk round bugis junction and back to bugis village, bought a pair of white shoes ♥ headed to mac to catch up & ate ice-cream! continued window-shopping.. went pastamania for dinner, my favourite chicken bologanise, penne ♥ emily drove us to kovan after that. home sweet home.

fri (4/6) - headed to parents office, did some new clothes stocks, printing of barcodes etc.. and the almond jelly that dad bought was so special. dad sent mum and i to Beyond Beauty at 5pm. facial and manicure. took train with mum to boutique. dad fetched us, we bought a burger king meal, 3 of us shared cos we were hungry. home sweet home.

sat (5/6) - it was asiasoft event today and i did the most unbelievable thing - attended it lol =/ met jm at bugis (again), was late hence i cabbed down :/ headed to mac to eat again lol, i love mac. wizzers (min) came to meet jm tog with xxpoh. met dovely, walked to illuma den suddenly two of her frens appeared also z. met sis & clark at there lol. quite chaotic, dovely managed to get her fren to buy for us ap resets & her fren queued for 2 over hours. redeemed the headband and glove :o whitegummyy, penangpro, tainted2, babygracey came over and talk. went off with jm, went shopping. bought a dress :/ that looks korean haha. home sweet home.

sun (6/6) - church, lunch at the nearby restaurant again. met my jc senior juson & his gf to pass the ap resets outside the restaurant. after which, headed to illuma again at 3pm with jm to meet angel :/ went redeem the overall & shoes but no more male one for bro. went bugis street with jm to help her look for shawn's present. those bengs at the stalls are jokers, keep making us laugh -.- headed back to illuma to buy polar bear chair for bro lol zz. 10 bucks. we took photos with the mushroom lol, i look disgusting. uploaded photos at fb, got it from jm's fb . left at 5 plus, reached at 6.. walked ard hg mall.. home sweet home. at nite on msn, kor and i discussed about SNSD lol -.- figuring out who is who for one of their photoshoot, den discussing who is pretty etc lol.

mon (7/6) - met J at 11am but was 30 mins late cos new hamsters were born again ._. & we ate at kfc. B came along after that. talked with J, catch up alot haha and she left at 12.45pm.. went off with B to popular to look at the construction paper corner. brain stormed, thinking of different ideas to do & finally went back hg mall to buy. went mini toon to decide which tape to buy, at popular for near two hours deciding what colours to buy & buy by weight or the one sold in stack LOL =.= we two walked up and down plenty of times, taking so many different coloured papers, like brain storming for project and both of us were really serious discussing etc.. didnt see myself so serious thinking so hard & figuring which colors matches cos there were too many colours available. we were also comparing prices, doing mental calculations to see which is cheaper. we wanna make it classy but at the same time sweet & romantic.. and my phone was busy ringing zz. unbelievable that i suddenly recd 4 different calls from recruit express regarding jobs and i told all of them to send in my resume for it lol. Thank God. i also bought the fanciful papers for sis's bday card & big board for father's day. he paid 18 bucks plus altogether after 20% disc, went back mini toons to decide the design of the tape. he bought chicken rice for both of us den went off, ate. den to my hse pool side pavilion to start our Art and Craft session lol. i was there helping him to cut the papers while he's measuring, my hands were pain.. the whole table was really full of papers. it was fun doing, i always do those stuffs haha for occasions for parents & my pasts. can see how concentrated we were doing and soon 2 hours plus passed. went home.. another session this wed.

these are the 2 weeks old baby hamsters.

i do miss him, but im trying to run away.
cant imagine i sent in more than 30 resumes ever since during my exam period till now. went for interviews the next day straight after my exams ended on 11th may. i really pray that God will open one job vacancy for me in a bank as a temp staff.

on monday nite at 11.10pm, left hse with bro & sachi doggie to drive to hougang station to fetch my sis den off to changi airport. i forgot how to go there so sis guiding me from behind telling me which lane to take etc.. den at airport, i forgot sachi cant go down zzz so sis decided to stay in car. bro and me went in, bro wanna buy ice-cream so let him buy. waited from 11.35pm till 12.15am den parents came out. i was quite emotional at that time lol but told myself to control. sis drove over to loading bay, dad took over to drive. sachi was so happy like mad to see my parents. home sweet home. sis bought bread for me, super nice, i was hungry, gobbled up lol.

arranged my outing with BC and emily today and tmr (thurs) since i decided to go parents office yest to help them, knowing they would be busy after they come back from overseas. indeed they were so busy yesterday and they had headache, jetlag so i drove to and back from their office. they had like 50 over unread office mails zz just in few days. lots of filing to be done, so i just sort out.. den did new sample stocks for boutique. 100 over unique individual pieces, really nice, finished tagging them. home sweet home. dinner time.

went out with BC today. i woke up late :/ we're supposed to do some scrapbook thingy, in the end he decided not to cos he has not edited his gf photos & ive not chosen my photos also for sis. so met him at 11.45am at taka, went best denki to take a look at webcams since this desktop does not haf one but all so ex, waiting to get a job first den i'll get one since i spent quite alot on clothes le. bought 2 dresses & one top last week, today another 2 tops from cotton on. tmr another shopping spree with emily and jasmine. :/ the thought of me supporting myself came from friends around me cos since university starts or rather jc, my friends are working & supporting themselves, they do not want to rely on their parents, time for us to stand our own haha. i wan a job so that i can pay for my own phone bills too though mine is student plan which is 31.03 after GST with caller ID and my parents are still paying for all 3 of us siblings and so lucky my sister got BB phone from company hence she applied BB plan but it's another extra 24 bucks, so will be 56.71 bucks for her bills after GST with caller ID :/ so i think iphone plan more worth it, 39 bucks but u need a iphone zz. so continue with story, we went cotton on at wisma to see and i tried the two tops which i bought, seek his opinions. headed to ps cotton on to see his shirts lol -.- den food court to eat, we were deciding btwn the grilled chicken in food court or manhatten fish market. went buy bubble tea, off to walk around den to mos burger seeing him drink milk tea and he showing me his girlfriend and his photos. so sweeetttttttttt. he gave her a surprise picnic after her work at marina barrage - he went to her hse to get her casual clothes & fetched her after work for the picnic. so much food, pastamania pizza, all kinds of food lor zzz plus drinks.. cooler box also ZZZ. if my boyfriend does that to me, i'll be over the moon lol. we left at 5 plus back to hougang mall. cotton on again lol cos he wanna get the top and i tried for fun too.. den his turn to seek for my opinions lol. he bought a white formal top, den off to my hse downstairs poolside to catch up about our lives. 6.10pm i went back home.. piano at nite..

pictures.. collated everything.

http://i217.photobucket.com/albums/cc36/pinkblooms/Presentation1.jpg

i guess there isnt any chance. i'll be gone. unbelievable, first time it happened.

my parents are coming back today :) i woke up at 7am today to wake bro up & sis at 7.30am, drove them individually to hougang central only. we are fetching parents later from airport. it was sunday yesterday, aunts called to ask if we wanna go down to grandma's hse. i went buy lunch for siblings, maid and i.. dinner, sis decided to cook porridge with carrot, potato, mincemeat etc inside.. tasty.. so i took out fish, cabbage, lettuce.. and we stayed in kitchen to cook. quite troublesome cos got the dried shrimps with chilli to be pounded for the veg. maid fried fish. after which i fry veg that time, the fire was too big, maid turned bigger so the oil would be hot. in the end, after throwing garlic, it immediately became black lol -.- so have to restart everything -.- hence sis helped me.. dinner with sis, clark, bro and me. den i watched "daddy day care" again, and that zong yi da ge da magician show.. and nite time talking with godbro again.

i am too lazy to post any pictures here though ive plenty of pics in my phone. nothing much yesterday, headed to bedok to change my earrings and get my top. decided to walk round since i was there already but was pretty paranoid about some stuffs hmph. this was one of the very few days which i had to fret over what i can do.

next destination was amk hub & though it brings back memories of the past, i dont yearn for those flashbacks. i was not hoping to see that person but same time i wanna show to that person how well i'm coping (: went to someone's house to take a look at the hamster accessories, simply cool. PLENTIFUL. spent 14 bucks.. hougang mall.. home at 9 something.

tired T_T.

sis woke me up at 8.50am to ask me to drive her to hougang station, so i changed den drove her to kovan station instead. drove home, waited for bro at basement carpark to drive him to hougang interchange too. decided to park the car and buy beehoon for breakfast for maid and me, and soya bean drink. went home to eat, used com. bathed get myself ready to leave hse to buy phyllis's present.. went hougang mall at 4.30pm to buy my lunch z den looked for her present, and to ntuc to buy chips, bought 5 packets since phyllis msged me to buy chips. headed to cityhall station, to suntec city fountain terrace. finally found her & her bf, with ho ying and serene, we walked round to see which place is halal since siti is eating. den decided swensens, walked back to suntec entrance to meet JR for my hamsters stuffs. thankfully he walked to suntec to meet me though he's meeting his frens at marina square. walked back to swensens, cheryl soon came.. ate curry chicken baked rice, we are treated to ice-cream.. 2 of phyllis's nus frens came followed by siti.. paid up, i went withdraw money to pay cheryl back cos at swensens had no cash lol. walked to marina square den to marina mandarin hotel. some pple are inside le.. den we pl girls chit-chat and talked about our primary to seconday school times tog, i didnt meet most of them ever since 2004! had a great time catching up with them. den played this board game called BANG with the nus pple, im the odd one out :/ played till 11plus den cake cutting.. 20 over of us in a hotel room watching tv, playing board games, poker cards lol, taking pics -.- soon 11.25pm, all of us pl girls left quickly to catch last train. den the guy from nus also followed us.. den only me, cheryl and him walked to the main cityhall station while the rest walked towards circle line. took train back alone den bus back, but thanks to kor... guess tmr im heading to bedok, amk.

many stuffs to do tmr. need to buy present, go amk if possible, collect from JR the hamsters stuffs which i asked him to collect from the forum person for me in his school. so qiao both of us will be having dinner at marina square lol, den after dinner with pl girls, head to the hotel tog. nite will be phyllis party at marina mandarin hotel, 8pm. 25+ pple :/ i only know 6 pple lol from there. not sure what fun they gonna have and what games :/ but i'll not stay overnite since my parents will be overseas tmr. waking up at 5ammmm to see them leave for airport. and guess i'll catch the last train after the party or else my parents will be worried for me if i go back middle of nite which i never before in my life lol -.-

wanna buy this top, so sweet haha.
https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj3QqV_40sz4c5Ikx3v5oyJF73Vk4AlE8QJPvIBWXmDk00owRu6joKJciZ_3u05OQC0fQpD9WaGW53T6lxQ-eFRCwXeoo2d1xZXfu5pTOlisfPMe9ipfF-WH4c2el783yVsTmKUuw/s1600-h/grey2.jpg

done with 2 cupboards with dad (: shall update tmr. gonna get busy soon. alr busy with many stuffs. sian the pics are all gone :( shall use the scenary pics from korea trip. yest at home doing bible study at living room, dog is following me everywhere as usual till my mama come back home den kick me aside alr lol -.- she's like a leech lol. i go toilet also go, living room, kitchen, everywhere.. she'll follow and must follow close, side by side, sometimes i'll fall and trip over her -.- she's so cute. den when i see her sleeping, i'll slowly and quietly tip-top to my room, she didnt notice but she's a light sleeper so she'll definitely open eyes every min den when she sees im not in, she'll wake up and walk to find me. den i'll be hiding in my room den BOOO her =x im so bad. sometimes i'll hide in bomb shelter to play hide and seek with her, running from my room to there after she found me in room. she creeps in the room slowly de, her actions super cute. she's also guarding the new hamster cage zz till she sleeps infront of it. brought her for walk, so excited as usual.

/edited
26/5 - at parents' office, typing new sample stocks..

hais i guess it's really nth afterall :(

/edited
all i can say is God has eyes to see. some people say and do some things infront of frens to show how good they're on the surface, but actually they're not by their actions. zz anyway not related to me lol.

some reflections..
Im starting work in june, gonna pay my own handphone bills le, but im glad i didnt exceed at all for more than a year alr, save $ for parents since they're paying the bills now, 24+5(caller ID)x 1.07 (gst) = $31.03 exactly every month. but anyway for more than a year, ive been supporting myself already, my own lunch if mum never cook soup on that day & expenses though im not working since ive savings from young. thank God for my parents that i dont have to worry about my education fees. that was wad i told my fren yest when my fren asked, he too borrowed $ from his parents for his trip & gonna pay his parents back after he finishes uni and work. plus, i wanna keep hamsters on my own accord so im paying all my hamsters stuffs by myself which really cost a bomb cos of food, cages, bedding, treats, gnawing pieces, water bottles, etc.. now im gonna get another cage cos babies hamsters born zzz and ive been hesistant to get one since the hse is already full of cages & tanks which i know im not supposed to keep so many. ive been keeping for near a year le. i wanna work & in the midst of sending in plenty of resumes & going for interviews or else my money just keep depleting, still rmb working in iras when i was 19, waking up every morning at 6.30am, taking train to novena in the crowded train squashed like sardine every morning at 7.30am. it was a nice experience cos u can see how busy everyone is, running for work lol. i never wanted my dad to fetch me there & back from work, since he's already old le, let him rest more plus is my job, what for trouble my dad, not my dad's work but our dad loves to pamper us ZZZ. my dad is already sick that day, weak all over in the office. now im gonna bring dog for walk since the last time of her walk was feb during cny when i was at grandma's hse with her other than at the dog farm recently.. i felt she's very poor thing, never go for walk often, less than 8 times in her 2.5 years stay with us ZZZ :/ i see one of my fren bringing her dog for walk everyday after her school or work even when she reached home at 10pm, salute to her. though starting we go for walks, cycling and we'll bring her along, soon everyone is lazy for walks. after that, gonna collect sachi's food at hougang station cos she has no more food for a week le, also bought hamsters bedding, treats & a cage from the blogshop, finally can meet that girl cos arranged for quite long already since her supplier is delaying :/ time for walk with dog.

yest, cupboards & benches, tables came already from IKEA. i was having piano lessons. it arrived early than expected. den my fren wanna come over to hougang mall for lunch, so drove to my hse to pick me since i need to buy my lunch myself too, den went to hougang mall mac to eat the mcvalue lunch. after which went harvey norman as my fren needed to change the tripod stand, den to popular to teach my fren how to make a scrapbook/album for his gf lol since he wanna make one. went home after 1.5 hours.. at nite, dad and i fixed the DIY cupboard for more than an hour, 3/4 done only, left with drilling of brackets for the door. that's only one cupboard -.- still got another cupboard since my parents bought 2, one for me, one for sis. mum took pics of us at work for the cupboard, in any contest held by classfied for father's day asking to send him pics of u and dad doing stuffs tog, can send in this haha!

went church yest morning with parents, to hougang mall after that for lunch. went home with dad after dabao-ing food for siblings. there was youth global day of prayer at max pavilion at 3pm yest but it was too late. so we decided to attend the adult global day of prayer at 7pm at indoor stadium. didnt want to go actually, but bro was very enthu about it zz so i went. dad fetched cousin to my hse, den brought us to paya lebar station & we took circle line, first time trying the 2nd phase of circle line. stadium station is so big and so convenient, right infront of indoor stadium. waited for sis den we went in tog at about 7.40pm.. wah it was so big inside, quite filled up, christians from all over singapore gathering there. and the place was quite hip-hop cos there was a concert on sat nite till 11pm lol, wonder whose concert was it, so all the set-up are left there. everything ended at 9.40pm.. took circle line home, crowded of course. den dad fetched us from hougang station, sent cousin home, home sweet home.