i was stressed up at work today, the supervisors are seriously monitoring me -.- i kept myself busy the whole day. about 30 mins to 6pm, my colleagues had nth for me to do alr hence i tried to keep myself look busy or else the supervisors will complain ._. i revised whatever they taught me cos i wrote it down. so many papers of words & print screens, like more than 20 pages alr. time to sleep. went back to hougang mall, brother met me there, bought dinner for me and him again. pay is pathetic, cos it's like an internship z, learning the stuffs they're doing to share their workload. went kodak to print photos as im doing card+album for sis's bday. guess tmr need to buy those materials to do the big board for father's day also. two big events this sunday. so im busy this week, rushing those items haha. cant wait for sunday! surprise surprise!just waiting for him to contact me but no hope//it's better to get a guy who loves me rather than me loving him only since i put 100% into it.

didnt post photos at grandma's hse de. see my cousins, they're siblings, so cute right with my hat. jonathon (2+ yo) & grace (5 yo). i told jon let's take pic & say cheese, he did that pose haha. and our food for dinner, is that much. parents sit at that table while we kids sit on chairs and sofa.

my sis took this yest ♥ love it. thinking of you all day long.

blogging fast hence pardon my poor flow of words & sentence structure, super tired, has been sleeping less than 6 hours :/ but anyway thank God for everything, for seeing me thru the past week & i realised how different i was as compared to sec school. i became so understanding towards parents during these years, i believe growing closer to God does really make a difference. last sat went cremation service hence i woke up at 6.30am also z. it was a sad day, i couldnt control myself and cried when the coffin was rolled in. went visit grandfather (mum's dad) for the first time at mandai crematorium.. went home at 10 plus.. didnt sleep.. accompany mum in the afternoon to wholesales centre. as usual, she wanted me to take this particular dress but i refused. den bro met us at there.. guess what, more than 10 big bags of clothes stocks, we went office to unload first, carried clothes stock that was like one packet more than 8kg up and down -.- so at uob, they tot i wasnt used to doing heavy work, but they're wrong lol. im used to it le cos go to hongkong with mum, have to buy clothes stock from early morning till at nite, non-stop walking & carrying clothes stock we bought for the whole day. so i got alot of strength de haha. left at 8pm plus back home, went tian wai tian for dinner..

sunday morning woke up at 10 plus for church, slept at 4am -.- so im seriously lack of sleep, i shouldnt have slept so late. church with parents only, den back home.. to grandma's hse at 4pm.. played with cousins, den mama asked me bring grandma out to walk.. she lead me to prime supermart and wanna buy many stuffs lol den of course as usual say dont buy. den saw aunties there lol -.- plus grandma's neighbour. den both grandmas are talking, super high. i walked back with grandma first, she saw her old neighbour den stopped to talk. the neighbour said he opened a provision shop at those lanes de but close le, so know my grandma super well le.. den dinner time at 6.30pm.. cousins playing with my hat LOL. so qiao M lived at grandma's hse that lane also -.- den he walked past, so went out talked to him awhile at 8.15pm like that.. last nite slept at 2am, cant sleep.

woke up at 6.30am today -.- dead tired. today i was like a zombie plus the train as usual was like sardine, had to wait for next train. i run to office lol and reached on the dot 8.30am LOL -.- den everyone is like so busy, kept typing and typing, passing documents here and there. guess what i filed more than 6 reams of papers into 20 different files cos i got no ID yet! my eyes are hurting cos the words are small & i have to see if they're receivables or settled, den according to different portfolios, securities and dates -.- and whether it's cash dividends or bond interest receivables, unit trusts or what etc.. i was going to fall asleep but i just did it non stop, walking up and down to get the files cos all in a room zz den punched all holes for so many reams of papers :/ and i finished everything within 2 days. my colleagues was shocked LOL! cant wait for wed to officially start processing everything and doing what my colleagues are doing as well. but i learnt many stuffs alr & helped them with their workload. went home after work, bought dinner for bro & me. reached home at 7.45pm. time to sleep.

busy at work as usual cos everytime i finish my work, i'll ask my colleagues if there's anything else that i can do. my id & pw, email etc has not been activated hence i cant login. my colleagues cant think of anything for me to do alr at the last 45 mins hence i revised thru what i wrote about all the steps & procedures i need to follow. time to sleep. 6.30am tmr morning, squeezing time in train even when im going home. been sleeping less than 6 hours le for 5 days le. cant wait for weekends. father's day and sis's bday this sunday.

friday (11/06)
first day at work @ uob plaza 2, raffles place. new colleagues. plenty of stuffs to learn. reminds me of iras but it's worse that iras stuffs. mine was corporate banking, under dividends.. did some stuffs that they taught me to do, im going to be given a ID and a desk plus personal email as well :/ actually supposed to meet B for lunch but too rush hence i went boutique to dabao food there to eat instead of going with my colleagues z. saw my aunty, she asked me to join her for coffee but i was rushing back to work. since one colleague was on leave, everyone was busy to teach me hence from 2+ onwards, i was filing so many reams of papers :O my colleague didnt tell me that i needed to file all actually but she told me one by one hence i went thru the same ream of papers 4 times. soon 6.30pm, left to meet bro at raffles place & took to bishan. dad fetched us to the funeral wake. heard that straits time reporter came to interview my uncle as they saw the orbitrary, and as mentioned in previous post, my mum's side was interviewed before by channel 5.. my uncle is in the midst of writing a book & is going to publish soon, named "Tears in Heaven", regarding downsyndrome children and his life with Ivy.. he asked a few pple to write a foreword and one of them was our minister George Yeo & my mum read it out during the funeral service today. it was a tearful night today, only relatives attended & some of my uncle's New Creation church frens. Ivy has lived for 46 years, though she has departed from this world, but she's with God in heaven. She will be free from all suffering.. though she aint related to anyone, yet my mum's side treated her like a real family member. R.I.P IVY. the more i look at her in the coffin, the more emotional i get hence i turned away. I can still rmb her happy face, always smiling though her mind is only in a state of a 2 year old kid.
i was so happy that u msged today.

yeah maybe afterall everything was just a dream.

life is so unpredictable & short. my mum's side has been taking care of this girl, Ivy since baby as her mum had difficulties taking care of her and she has downsyndrome. she passed away at the hospital today, she's alr 40 over years old. Previously she had some complications and was warded but was soon discharged. My uncle & mum was interviewed in 1995 under the channel 5 show "extraordinary people" and my uncle also appeared on those tv programmes quite a number of times regarding taking care of an extraordinary person though they're unrelated. R.I.P Ivy 10/6/10. I still remember my uncle teaching me recently this year about how to make her to say thank you by just taking a bread, putting infront of her, asking her to say thank you and she really did. that is the only word she knows how to say and you can see her gleaming with joy eating her favourite bread. still remember shaking her hand that day, she was so joyful. now she's gone. tmr service by New Creation pastor is at 7pm and my first day of work ends at 6.30pm tmr :/ my mum and uncle cried alot at hospital having lived with her for near 30 years, like real siblings already.

anyway, was at office on tues, did tagging etc.. den christine from recruit express called me regarding ernst & young job for 3 weeks which i didnt want, so short a period. den she called again & happily told me there's a uob job and of course i want it hence she sent in my resume.

on wed morning, went for interview at singtel telecom, there were 3 other girls from sim but i was just shocked by the job scope :/ left an hour later, walked to bus stop with a girl but i was lost as to which side shld i take. hence asked a bus driver and was going to cross opposite but guess what, it suddenly poured heavily, i was drenched -.- i walked back to the bus stop zz den recd a call to go for the uob interview at 3.40pm as i was shortlisted. i took to bedok interchange den walk around, bought lunch den home.. soon left for interview, was nervous, i was praying hard that i must get it since ive been looking for bank jobs. Thank God, she told me right infront of my face that she'll hire me & told the other lady to let me sign the contract. went over recruit express to sign contract too & back to uob plaza two to give the undertaking form.. went back home.. i will be working from tmr onwards at UOB plaza 2!

this is wad i wore for interview..

didnt blog for days already, im feeling sleepy now gosh. im breaking record, out for many days :/ so decided to go parents' office tmr to help. job interview on wed. shall post a short and sweet one.

thurs (3/6) - another shopping spree with emily & jasmine at bugis street. was late :/ shopped with emily first, didnt buy any after which jasmine met us. went walk round bugis junction and back to bugis village, bought a pair of white shoes ♥ headed to mac to catch up & ate ice-cream! continued window-shopping.. went pastamania for dinner, my favourite chicken bologanise, penne ♥ emily drove us to kovan after that. home sweet home.

fri (4/6) - headed to parents office, did some new clothes stocks, printing of barcodes etc.. and the almond jelly that dad bought was so special. dad sent mum and i to Beyond Beauty at 5pm. facial and manicure. took train with mum to boutique. dad fetched us, we bought a burger king meal, 3 of us shared cos we were hungry. home sweet home.

sat (5/6) - it was asiasoft event today and i did the most unbelievable thing - attended it lol =/ met jm at bugis (again), was late hence i cabbed down :/ headed to mac to eat again lol, i love mac. wizzers (min) came to meet jm tog with xxpoh. met dovely, walked to illuma den suddenly two of her frens appeared also z. met sis & clark at there lol. quite chaotic, dovely managed to get her fren to buy for us ap resets & her fren queued for 2 over hours. redeemed the headband and glove :o whitegummyy, penangpro, tainted2, babygracey came over and talk. went off with jm, went shopping. bought a dress :/ that looks korean haha. home sweet home.

sun (6/6) - church, lunch at the nearby restaurant again. met my jc senior juson & his gf to pass the ap resets outside the restaurant. after which, headed to illuma again at 3pm with jm to meet angel :/ went redeem the overall & shoes but no more male one for bro. went bugis street with jm to help her look for shawn's present. those bengs at the stalls are jokers, keep making us laugh -.- headed back to illuma to buy polar bear chair for bro lol zz. 10 bucks. we took photos with the mushroom lol, i look disgusting. uploaded photos at fb, got it from jm's fb . left at 5 plus, reached at 6.. walked ard hg mall.. home sweet home. at nite on msn, kor and i discussed about SNSD lol -.- figuring out who is who for one of their photoshoot, den discussing who is pretty etc lol.

mon (7/6) - met J at 11am but was 30 mins late cos new hamsters were born again ._. & we ate at kfc. B came along after that. talked with J, catch up alot haha and she left at 12.45pm.. went off with B to popular to look at the construction paper corner. brain stormed, thinking of different ideas to do & finally went back hg mall to buy. went mini toon to decide which tape to buy, at popular for near two hours deciding what colours to buy & buy by weight or the one sold in stack LOL =.= we two walked up and down plenty of times, taking so many different coloured papers, like brain storming for project and both of us were really serious discussing etc.. didnt see myself so serious thinking so hard & figuring which colors matches cos there were too many colours available. we were also comparing prices, doing mental calculations to see which is cheaper. we wanna make it classy but at the same time sweet & romantic.. and my phone was busy ringing zz. unbelievable that i suddenly recd 4 different calls from recruit express regarding jobs and i told all of them to send in my resume for it lol. Thank God. i also bought the fanciful papers for sis's bday card & big board for father's day. he paid 18 bucks plus altogether after 20% disc, went back mini toons to decide the design of the tape. he bought chicken rice for both of us den went off, ate. den to my hse pool side pavilion to start our Art and Craft session lol. i was there helping him to cut the papers while he's measuring, my hands were pain.. the whole table was really full of papers. it was fun doing, i always do those stuffs haha for occasions for parents & my pasts. can see how concentrated we were doing and soon 2 hours plus passed. went home.. another session this wed.

these are the 2 weeks old baby hamsters.

i do miss him, but im trying to run away.
cant imagine i sent in more than 30 resumes ever since during my exam period till now. went for interviews the next day straight after my exams ended on 11th may. i really pray that God will open one job vacancy for me in a bank as a temp staff.

on monday nite at 11.10pm, left hse with bro & sachi doggie to drive to hougang station to fetch my sis den off to changi airport. i forgot how to go there so sis guiding me from behind telling me which lane to take etc.. den at airport, i forgot sachi cant go down zzz so sis decided to stay in car. bro and me went in, bro wanna buy ice-cream so let him buy. waited from 11.35pm till 12.15am den parents came out. i was quite emotional at that time lol but told myself to control. sis drove over to loading bay, dad took over to drive. sachi was so happy like mad to see my parents. home sweet home. sis bought bread for me, super nice, i was hungry, gobbled up lol.

arranged my outing with BC and emily today and tmr (thurs) since i decided to go parents office yest to help them, knowing they would be busy after they come back from overseas. indeed they were so busy yesterday and they had headache, jetlag so i drove to and back from their office. they had like 50 over unread office mails zz just in few days. lots of filing to be done, so i just sort out.. den did new sample stocks for boutique. 100 over unique individual pieces, really nice, finished tagging them. home sweet home. dinner time.

went out with BC today. i woke up late :/ we're supposed to do some scrapbook thingy, in the end he decided not to cos he has not edited his gf photos & ive not chosen my photos also for sis. so met him at 11.45am at taka, went best denki to take a look at webcams since this desktop does not haf one but all so ex, waiting to get a job first den i'll get one since i spent quite alot on clothes le. bought 2 dresses & one top last week, today another 2 tops from cotton on. tmr another shopping spree with emily and jasmine. :/ the thought of me supporting myself came from friends around me cos since university starts or rather jc, my friends are working & supporting themselves, they do not want to rely on their parents, time for us to stand our own haha. i wan a job so that i can pay for my own phone bills too though mine is student plan which is 31.03 after GST with caller ID and my parents are still paying for all 3 of us siblings and so lucky my sister got BB phone from company hence she applied BB plan but it's another extra 24 bucks, so will be 56.71 bucks for her bills after GST with caller ID :/ so i think iphone plan more worth it, 39 bucks but u need a iphone zz. so continue with story, we went cotton on at wisma to see and i tried the two tops which i bought, seek his opinions. headed to ps cotton on to see his shirts lol -.- den food court to eat, we were deciding btwn the grilled chicken in food court or manhatten fish market. went buy bubble tea, off to walk around den to mos burger seeing him drink milk tea and he showing me his girlfriend and his photos. so sweeetttttttttt. he gave her a surprise picnic after her work at marina barrage - he went to her hse to get her casual clothes & fetched her after work for the picnic. so much food, pastamania pizza, all kinds of food lor zzz plus drinks.. cooler box also ZZZ. if my boyfriend does that to me, i'll be over the moon lol. we left at 5 plus back to hougang mall. cotton on again lol cos he wanna get the top and i tried for fun too.. den his turn to seek for my opinions lol. he bought a white formal top, den off to my hse downstairs poolside to catch up about our lives. 6.10pm i went back home.. piano at nite..

pictures.. collated everything.

http://i217.photobucket.com/albums/cc36/pinkblooms/Presentation1.jpg

i guess there isnt any chance. i'll be gone. unbelievable, first time it happened.

my parents are coming back today :) i woke up at 7am today to wake bro up & sis at 7.30am, drove them individually to hougang central only. we are fetching parents later from airport. it was sunday yesterday, aunts called to ask if we wanna go down to grandma's hse. i went buy lunch for siblings, maid and i.. dinner, sis decided to cook porridge with carrot, potato, mincemeat etc inside.. tasty.. so i took out fish, cabbage, lettuce.. and we stayed in kitchen to cook. quite troublesome cos got the dried shrimps with chilli to be pounded for the veg. maid fried fish. after which i fry veg that time, the fire was too big, maid turned bigger so the oil would be hot. in the end, after throwing garlic, it immediately became black lol -.- so have to restart everything -.- hence sis helped me.. dinner with sis, clark, bro and me. den i watched "daddy day care" again, and that zong yi da ge da magician show.. and nite time talking with godbro again.

i am too lazy to post any pictures here though ive plenty of pics in my phone. nothing much yesterday, headed to bedok to change my earrings and get my top. decided to walk round since i was there already but was pretty paranoid about some stuffs hmph. this was one of the very few days which i had to fret over what i can do.

next destination was amk hub & though it brings back memories of the past, i dont yearn for those flashbacks. i was not hoping to see that person but same time i wanna show to that person how well i'm coping (: went to someone's house to take a look at the hamster accessories, simply cool. PLENTIFUL. spent 14 bucks.. hougang mall.. home at 9 something.

tired T_T.

sis woke me up at 8.50am to ask me to drive her to hougang station, so i changed den drove her to kovan station instead. drove home, waited for bro at basement carpark to drive him to hougang interchange too. decided to park the car and buy beehoon for breakfast for maid and me, and soya bean drink. went home to eat, used com. bathed get myself ready to leave hse to buy phyllis's present.. went hougang mall at 4.30pm to buy my lunch z den looked for her present, and to ntuc to buy chips, bought 5 packets since phyllis msged me to buy chips. headed to cityhall station, to suntec city fountain terrace. finally found her & her bf, with ho ying and serene, we walked round to see which place is halal since siti is eating. den decided swensens, walked back to suntec entrance to meet JR for my hamsters stuffs. thankfully he walked to suntec to meet me though he's meeting his frens at marina square. walked back to swensens, cheryl soon came.. ate curry chicken baked rice, we are treated to ice-cream.. 2 of phyllis's nus frens came followed by siti.. paid up, i went withdraw money to pay cheryl back cos at swensens had no cash lol. walked to marina square den to marina mandarin hotel. some pple are inside le.. den we pl girls chit-chat and talked about our primary to seconday school times tog, i didnt meet most of them ever since 2004! had a great time catching up with them. den played this board game called BANG with the nus pple, im the odd one out :/ played till 11plus den cake cutting.. 20 over of us in a hotel room watching tv, playing board games, poker cards lol, taking pics -.- soon 11.25pm, all of us pl girls left quickly to catch last train. den the guy from nus also followed us.. den only me, cheryl and him walked to the main cityhall station while the rest walked towards circle line. took train back alone den bus back, but thanks to kor... guess tmr im heading to bedok, amk.

many stuffs to do tmr. need to buy present, go amk if possible, collect from JR the hamsters stuffs which i asked him to collect from the forum person for me in his school. so qiao both of us will be having dinner at marina square lol, den after dinner with pl girls, head to the hotel tog. nite will be phyllis party at marina mandarin hotel, 8pm. 25+ pple :/ i only know 6 pple lol from there. not sure what fun they gonna have and what games :/ but i'll not stay overnite since my parents will be overseas tmr. waking up at 5ammmm to see them leave for airport. and guess i'll catch the last train after the party or else my parents will be worried for me if i go back middle of nite which i never before in my life lol -.-

wanna buy this top, so sweet haha.
https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj3QqV_40sz4c5Ikx3v5oyJF73Vk4AlE8QJPvIBWXmDk00owRu6joKJciZ_3u05OQC0fQpD9WaGW53T6lxQ-eFRCwXeoo2d1xZXfu5pTOlisfPMe9ipfF-WH4c2el783yVsTmKUuw/s1600-h/grey2.jpg

done with 2 cupboards with dad (: shall update tmr. gonna get busy soon. alr busy with many stuffs. sian the pics are all gone :( shall use the scenary pics from korea trip. yest at home doing bible study at living room, dog is following me everywhere as usual till my mama come back home den kick me aside alr lol -.- she's like a leech lol. i go toilet also go, living room, kitchen, everywhere.. she'll follow and must follow close, side by side, sometimes i'll fall and trip over her -.- she's so cute. den when i see her sleeping, i'll slowly and quietly tip-top to my room, she didnt notice but she's a light sleeper so she'll definitely open eyes every min den when she sees im not in, she'll wake up and walk to find me. den i'll be hiding in my room den BOOO her =x im so bad. sometimes i'll hide in bomb shelter to play hide and seek with her, running from my room to there after she found me in room. she creeps in the room slowly de, her actions super cute. she's also guarding the new hamster cage zz till she sleeps infront of it. brought her for walk, so excited as usual.

/edited
26/5 - at parents' office, typing new sample stocks..

hais i guess it's really nth afterall :(

/edited
all i can say is God has eyes to see. some people say and do some things infront of frens to show how good they're on the surface, but actually they're not by their actions. zz anyway not related to me lol.

some reflections..
Im starting work in june, gonna pay my own handphone bills le, but im glad i didnt exceed at all for more than a year alr, save $ for parents since they're paying the bills now, 24+5(caller ID)x 1.07 (gst) = $31.03 exactly every month. but anyway for more than a year, ive been supporting myself already, my own lunch if mum never cook soup on that day & expenses though im not working since ive savings from young. thank God for my parents that i dont have to worry about my education fees. that was wad i told my fren yest when my fren asked, he too borrowed $ from his parents for his trip & gonna pay his parents back after he finishes uni and work. plus, i wanna keep hamsters on my own accord so im paying all my hamsters stuffs by myself which really cost a bomb cos of food, cages, bedding, treats, gnawing pieces, water bottles, etc.. now im gonna get another cage cos babies hamsters born zzz and ive been hesistant to get one since the hse is already full of cages & tanks which i know im not supposed to keep so many. ive been keeping for near a year le. i wanna work & in the midst of sending in plenty of resumes & going for interviews or else my money just keep depleting, still rmb working in iras when i was 19, waking up every morning at 6.30am, taking train to novena in the crowded train squashed like sardine every morning at 7.30am. it was a nice experience cos u can see how busy everyone is, running for work lol. i never wanted my dad to fetch me there & back from work, since he's already old le, let him rest more plus is my job, what for trouble my dad, not my dad's work but our dad loves to pamper us ZZZ. my dad is already sick that day, weak all over in the office. now im gonna bring dog for walk since the last time of her walk was feb during cny when i was at grandma's hse with her other than at the dog farm recently.. i felt she's very poor thing, never go for walk often, less than 8 times in her 2.5 years stay with us ZZZ :/ i see one of my fren bringing her dog for walk everyday after her school or work even when she reached home at 10pm, salute to her. though starting we go for walks, cycling and we'll bring her along, soon everyone is lazy for walks. after that, gonna collect sachi's food at hougang station cos she has no more food for a week le, also bought hamsters bedding, treats & a cage from the blogshop, finally can meet that girl cos arranged for quite long already since her supplier is delaying :/ time for walk with dog.

yest, cupboards & benches, tables came already from IKEA. i was having piano lessons. it arrived early than expected. den my fren wanna come over to hougang mall for lunch, so drove to my hse to pick me since i need to buy my lunch myself too, den went to hougang mall mac to eat the mcvalue lunch. after which went harvey norman as my fren needed to change the tripod stand, den to popular to teach my fren how to make a scrapbook/album for his gf lol since he wanna make one. went home after 1.5 hours.. at nite, dad and i fixed the DIY cupboard for more than an hour, 3/4 done only, left with drilling of brackets for the door. that's only one cupboard -.- still got another cupboard since my parents bought 2, one for me, one for sis. mum took pics of us at work for the cupboard, in any contest held by classfied for father's day asking to send him pics of u and dad doing stuffs tog, can send in this haha!

went church yest morning with parents, to hougang mall after that for lunch. went home with dad after dabao-ing food for siblings. there was youth global day of prayer at max pavilion at 3pm yest but it was too late. so we decided to attend the adult global day of prayer at 7pm at indoor stadium. didnt want to go actually, but bro was very enthu about it zz so i went. dad fetched cousin to my hse, den brought us to paya lebar station & we took circle line, first time trying the 2nd phase of circle line. stadium station is so big and so convenient, right infront of indoor stadium. waited for sis den we went in tog at about 7.40pm.. wah it was so big inside, quite filled up, christians from all over singapore gathering there. and the place was quite hip-hop cos there was a concert on sat nite till 11pm lol, wonder whose concert was it, so all the set-up are left there. everything ended at 9.40pm.. took circle line home, crowded of course. den dad fetched us from hougang station, sent cousin home, home sweet home.

went ikea just now with parents cos sis wanna buy cupboard and shelving for her room. i had no intention to buy anything though i really love many stuffs in ikea. den mum was asking me to buy one roller shelving for me, i was like huh.. den sis saw a cupboard she likes alot.. den mum said get one for me also.. i thought not a need for me hence i told my mum but she insisted on getting for me zz. gonna go ikea one day in the near future to buy the stuffs that i want with my pay when i work (: i have plenty of things to buy from ikea. wanna deco my room with my own pay!!! problem is finding temp job in banks is a big problem z. bro got a small table for himself, sis got photoframe, plastic boxes, nice solid box, baking thingy.. went information counter to get info about the cupboard. tedious cos went back to second floor.. den find info about it.. den went info counter, he said go first floor, so went back zz. after everything, went line up, dad paid for everything.. 800 over dollars, my dad shaked head :( lol z. anyway cos the cupboards cost 426 le. den got benches & tables for roof garden.. went to changi village for dinner. yummy food. stingray, kangkong, egg, mussells.. den 2 fried tapioca cake from the famous stall. home sweet home.

just read a girl's blog today, saw the post on national family celebrations which i find it interesting. http://www.nfc.sg/ i even sent in the pledge thingy. anyway i really think she's good, trying to bond family tog by doing activities together, spending time with family.. it's really niceee.. i saw 7-eleven selling kites yest, was tempted to buy LOL. still rmb my parents, bro and me going to changi beach and it was pitch dark, seeing aeroplanes.. though it was not much of an activity, but under many stars & a moon, watching aeroplanes flying over our heads, cheering and guessing which plane was it, we enjoyed ourselves (: i wish i can organise one outing together. though my family has been celebrating every single one of our birthdays yearly without fail, dinner tog on weekdays & sat, lunch on sunday & dinner at grandma's hse unless something crops up as well as yearly holidays. however, we have not done activities like cycling for a long time, visiting attractions etc.. i hope to do so.

now i realised many pple like SNSD lol? i saw the pics, really pretty, like yuri, jessica. even my sister is also printing piano scores of their song like run devil run. i went comics connection, saw their pics, yuri is so pretty. maybe i shld also learn to play snsd songs. like this picture below, the girl right in the centre is so pretty, wonder who she is cos all of them look different zz. now im helping cousin dl private ms and it's super cool cos we're using teamviewer so im controlling her computer lol -.- just now helped mum find umbrella manufacturers. last nite helped mum recreate facebook account till 2am with mum telling me to put which pics etc, haha super funny.

yest didnt go office. cant believe i slept for so long. den i quickly bathed, bought lunch from hougang mall, my stomach was still in pain even till now. went home ate lunch, den went with maid to doctor to bring her for medical check-up. in the end, clinic closed le, 7pm open again. so went home, decided to pack my rooms as my notes are all over the room. finally packed everything. cooked rice at 7pm.. den went off with maid at 8pm to bring her for medical check-up. so funny la, she dont dare to go in the room alone zz, she scared she dont understand the doctor, i said he knows how to speak indonesian. she was at there, refusing to go in lol. den went home.. dad cooked dinner, as usual just help set up table etc...

im constantly thinking what you are doing now.

dad fetched me from hougang mall, went parent's office, didnt want to go out. tagging, labelling new clothes stocks etc.. till 8pm. drove home, fetched bro from home, ate dinner with family. home sweet home.

tell myself to wake up! what am i thinking aw. im really silly. gonna disappear. im running away from the situation i guess. out of so many, pian pian shi ta.

ive too many photos to upload to fb but i didnt, all in my handphone. hmm anything can happen in our lives, sometimes the things u want would not be yours. that's life. sian wanted to go sis graduation ceremony today but there's only 2 invitations. my parents didnt know i wanna go though i woke up at 7.05am but just lied on my bed lol. this month is happening.. there's phyllis bday pt on 27/5 at marina mandarin hotel, dinner on 26/5 before her party starts but i cant make it. in the midst of arranging a gathering this month for jc clique for joyce's belated bday but our schedules are all different. 29/5 is dinner at tampines sakura with cousins to celebrate one cousin 21st bday. parents going on business trip from 27/5 to 31/5. i have yet to call my grandma to ask her to come over to stay. and everyday i would be playing taeyong wedding dress zzz with other songs.

on tues (18/5), i stayed home to finish up my bible study and my dad called to ask if i wanna follow him to send samples to customers. in jurong. but i was too slow, hence he left without me z. watched yu le bai fen bai, was touched by what the girl said too. it was an episode of the guy choosing one girl out of 3. the last girl said she has no figure, no looks (as compared to first 2), but she has a kind heart, good character, which i think is very impt. even the guy also feels so. it's obvious that the second girl was too skimpy dress, knowing that she had to show the CPR thingy, she still wore a short tube dress zz. den had bible study at nite, followed by fellowship.. on the way home, it was a funny scene cos dog was in the car.. suddenly she kept whining non-stop. i was thinking perhaps she needs to shit. so dad was chionging home, den sis carried her to the car mat placed with plastic bag den tell her to poo.. den sis tot she finished poo-ing, pass over to my side, in the end she was urinating zz and haven finish. den my sis leg got urine zz den car seat all got, our footwears all got zzz. funny and chaotic scene. reached home ate dinner den bathed dog.. den sis blow dry while i carried sachi..

yest (19/5), woke up late, went office with parents. mum told me to sew up those belts, sweet and pretty belts but the glue used was not sticky enough hence the ribbon thingy is dropping out.. so i need to sew all four corners of the belts.. did it in the whole afternoon and soon later watched jiu xiang lai zhe ni while sewing. continued watching after sewing, was laughing so badly, parents kept asking me what happened. i said that show is really funny, the one which i asked them to watch every sat on channel U. ella is so so so cute & jerry yan's reaction is so funny when ella had to hold hands with that guy and walk along the path while jerry yan's following them. before that jerry was teaching ella what are the donts with a bogus bf, it was so funny and sweet, i kept laughing haha. soon, it was time to go back, drove home.. ate dinner.. had piano lesson.. BC called me at 2.14am zz, was stunned when i heard a girl voice calling my name with BC number, but actually BC was playing with me dots, i nearly died while i was training. yest nite my hp was busy but im busy at com, just neglected my phone. im pretty noob, that day died 12 times in a row of few hours training only -.-

i shall post about mother's day another day since the photos are in the digi cam but is not with me. every year we'll celebrate mother's day with dinner, cake, DIY or presents bought, DIY cards etc.. however this year due to my exams, no dinner, but there's DIY cake, cards etc..

16/5 (pics to be uploaded tmr)

church in the morning with family, it was a great sermon, followed by lunch at hougang mall kopitiam. groceries shopping at ntuc, home sweet home.. soon, left hse for grandma's hse. just helped my aunt to fan the stove for the charcoal to ignite fire. both me and her fanned till... because the fire kept extingushing many times. den helped aunt do green vege, checking & washing.. den sis came in to wash cabbage.. den cos lots of green vege, took quite some time, washed second time after that. washing halfway, sis kept calling me to go out play mahjong -.- cos grandma kept chasing her to start playing den lack of 1 player zz. i kept saying wait but no choice, grandma really wanna play. anyway we play for fun just to accompany her & exercise her brains since she has dementia, no money involved. played for awhile den dinner time.. ate.. den played heart attack with 2 small cousins.. lime juice time.. den cake cutting for cousin's 21st bday.. chit-chat.. home sweet home.

17/5

met J at plaza sing at 12.30pm. coincidentally, qiuyi spotted me lol and i didnt know it was her when i saw her at hougang station. went withdraw money den to cafe cartel for set lunch. was pretty full cos there's main dish, drink, free flow of bread, mushroom soup and cake. after lunch was movie "The Last Song", wasnt that touching but still many of those scenes dots. after that, headed back to my hse. changed and went down for tennis from 5pm to 6pm. fun but my arms & legs are aching z. after tennis, came up to my hse to take a look den played some piano pieces..

my heart is thumping & pounding hard.

/edited
i realised ive not blogged about mother's day yet. shall do that tmr.

i have not gone out with any friends yet after exams, some on holidays, some having exams. i feel lazy to leave the hse too =/ having stayed in the hse or outside for some time studying z. today was time to bathe the hamsters since i didnt bathe them for super long due to exams and found one dead robo hamster suddenly -.- she was perfectly fine yesterday but was found dead under the toilet rolls that i placed in the cage. now there are 8 hamsters left. hais, it's saddening. anyway maid helped me with the washing of cages. soon we finished everything in 2 hours. in the end no time to bathe dog, perhaps tmr. went dinner with family at nite at the new kopitiam at hougang, eating the thai fish head curry, claypot tofu and mixed vege. bubble teas later & bro had his new bag.

Exams ended on 11th which was really early as compared to previous years exams - 23rd may (2008) and 21st may (2009). I ended exams the earliest compared to all my friends.

14th May
went SIM with dad to help sister submit her forms. the room for submission was closed and would only open at 2pm when we were there at 1 plus. my dad didnt want to follow me to the lecture room too and i didnt want him to go cos he and i feel that it's wierd where everywhere are students and he's a parent haha. hence we went down second floor, he waited outside the office and i went in. im glad i can submit the forms there and a helpful lady attended to me. since ive no idea what's the forms about, she checked everything for me and told me to fill up whatever that needs to be filled up like number of subjects my sis passed which i totally have no idea.. thankful that she helped me to see and i just write down what she told me to. after settling, went admin office to pay the bridging course for sis. we went home to fetch sis to let her see doctor, den i drove to office to fetch mum, dad drove mum and me to wholesales centre. as usual, i tried clothes for mum to see what she wanna order. den there was this particular wholesaler who was figuring out about one top as the manufacturer had done wrongly. 2 tailors was there to figure out. i wore it for my mum to see since she likes it, my mum taught them how to alter it.. den the staff immediately brought me to the boss in the office with a client in there, showing how it shld be done lol. after which went facial, was late, reached at 5.30pm with mum.. finished everything at 7.20pm, went raffles xchange to take a look at the boutiques.. den took train to boutique to settle some stuffs and ate dinner. during the train journey, my mum kept mentioning about her DMK shoes. she has been talking about it for days that it's very nice and she wanna buy for me. i told her it's alright, i can buy myself. she's so cute, kept saying nvm i want to buy for u, i said dont want, she also kept saying in the train den give the cheeky smile, making me wan to laugh only. den at boutique, DMK is beside it, she walked in le saying she buy for me cos i look nice wearing pointed heels, i kept saying dont want den walk away lol. den she laughed and walked away. soon dad came to fetch us, brought many stocks back. went old airport road with parents and bro, just drank soya bean, ate rojak & satay. home sweet home.

13th May
went interview yest at 2pm, i thought it was the postponed one but wasnt. quickly rushed there and it was raymond low organisation company. filled up forms and a girl was interviewing me and it turns out she's 22 as well. we chatted like frens too and she was telling me about the offers she got from banks and asked me to try as well LOL -.- though she's recruiting for her company. left an hour later at 3pm, headed to mum's boutique since parents are heading down as well. bought my lunch at 4pm.. ate at boutique, left with dad to send goods. i took over and drive to buona vista, den jurong, back to tanjong pagar to fetch mum & to ubi for tea break with parents den office.. dad dropped mum and i at hougang mall.. we went to a boutique, as usual i helped mum to try clothes to buy clothes samples.. after purchasing, to kopitiam for desserts den bought carrot cake for dad, home sweet home.

12th May
On 12th I went for an internship interview by strategic partners, honestly i didn't know what company it was, not even knowing the name, all i knew was the building at fuji xerox and the unit number. When i reached, i saw prudential & strategic signage and in my head was 'prudential again?'. while i was waiting for the other interviewee to arrive, i filled up forms and waited in a conference room. the lady told me both me and a girl will be interviewed by two managers and hence i gave her a stunned look. soon, one manager came and we were chatting happily lols like friends -.- talking about our lives & the other manager soon came in as well and joined in. 3 of us were talking about our personal lives Z. the girl arrived about 30 mins later i think, i saw her before since coincidentally she's from SIM too and they started the powerpoint presentation about the internship programme. pretty interesting and intensive, but whenever i see the word financial consultant or manager, my mind just shut off. im not interested in selling saving plans or insurances. so i asked the two managers what it's meant by financial consultant. one of them explained and i knew it's those sales line and i gave him that kind of look. he wasnt happy and some sort told me off indirectly that if we are not interested in that line, he suggested we shld not go into this internship programme. After everything ended, i left to go to mum's boutique to take a look den head home about 6 plus.. bought lunch zz. had piano lesson, den ate dinner.

how i wish i know what you are thinking.

finally my exams are over, Thank God but this year's time-table is really terrible, all cramped up, in the end had many overnight studying BUT i survived haha! one exam is 3 hours long. On 5th had exam as well as 6th, no choice I had to stay up till 5.30am and woke up at 8am. 2 nites ago i slept at 5am and woke up at 9am to study yesterday. Last nite studied till 3am and was awake at 8.20am.. had 2 papers today that's why. i only touched & studied msm at 1am last nite ever since my prelims in march but im glad the paper was manageable. but i had headache thruout the whole day, i had 6 hours of paper today like last year -.- didnt eat too since few thousands of us at hall 6 and 7.. it's impossible to find places to eat my lunch.. hence just walked to hall 3 after msm exam to use the toilet since the rest had super duper long queues. met DF, couldnt find him but only to realise he was only opposite me at the long walkway smoking -.- den went hall 9 for my exams.

back on 11th May nite.

Thank God for that 2 papers i took no matter what outcome it will be. 2 more to go. went meet jiamin for dinner, bro came along.. we ate at coffeeshop near hougang plaza de.. bought drinks too zz den bro still wan somemore drinks z cos thirsty.. den went walk ard as jm needed to buy her shoes, and her fren's sister bday present.. anyway meeting her tmr nite again. i got attracted to the bow clips i saw at chameleon. been finding that for ages online but so ex, and now it's at hougang mall, affordable price too.

/edited
next sunday is mother's day! so fast one year has passed. running out of ideas lol. stressed with exams, no idea why i felt so stressed up in my brains that i cough and vomited out but swallowed back =/ so hectic period. really prayed hard that God will guide me thru this period, for his wisdom, strength and understanding as i study.. so ultimately, working is still the best. realised many stuffs need to be done after exams. working from june onwards hopefully. den meeting up for joyce's bday in may. parents going overseas business trip from may 27th to may 31st, hopefully nth crops up in their office. attending talks in may. sis graduation on may 20th. attending the big seminar which parents are involved in june. parents are also busy with the new office, will be even busier when it comes to renovation. relatives organising genting trip - 17/6 to 19/6, wanna go but tough also.. wanna follow jm to msia too.. but i think the seminar date & trip dates will clash. cant meet up with marg baby & the rest on sat & next thurs with cheryl and phyllis cos of my exams but will meet up after my exams. and the movies are so tempting. almost everyone is discussing about iron man 2 and ip man -.- pathetic us can only watch after exams, by that time perhaps the movies aint on the cinema anymore.


sians my mind kept wandering about. concentrate on studying!!!

Using mum's iPhone to blog since I'm studying at living room. Saw the photos, somehow reminded me abt the photos taken that time, same position too and smiles are there. and looking back at all my pasts, they're all celebrating 1.5 years to 3 years anni with their partners -.- amusing thing is, all right after me -.-

anyway, now it's about me.. nothing much, living life happily (:

z im spending my money again cos i saw little miss tees which i didnt get to buy last nite when i was at hougang mall with parents & bro . i saw the stuffs in cotton on, wanted to buy but didnt buy cos thinking of my $ lol. den mum & bro went cotton on but i was up the mall shopping, den my mum called me if i wan stuffs from cotton on, i said i dont want. even if i like the stuffs very much when im with my mum, i dont ask her to buy. everytime i follow her to get her clothes stocks, she's always asking me want this, want that. i said dont want, in the end she always tell the clothes pple, my this daughter dont want waste my money de, everything also dont want de, mummy wants to spend on her, she dont know how to take this chance not like my.. LOL =.= so the clothes im wearing are mostly worn by my mum once, den i wear cos my mum seldom wears them for second time. but since her clothes are matured, i kept buying clothes from online & cotton on. if im out with my mum is to buy her boutique working clothes samples and i'll be trying for her. i never let my mum know what kind of clothes i like or what i want cos i wanna buy it by myself. my mum was shocked to see me buy back bandaged skirts, she didnt know i like hence she asked me if i want the bandage skirt she bought for my sis, i said nope it's alright. working in their office & for the boutique, i can really see how difficult it is, like labourers' job. sian my moda poala shoes white with black bow shoes heels kept dropping out, it's my favourite pair of shoes which i bought for 20 plus when i was with my aunt shopping before cny. But I know everyone got different views abt this.

last fri, stayed back after my school cos my bro has 4 hours break in the afternoon, and im afraid he'll be lonely ma.. my dad also tells me to eat lunch with him which i alr wanted to. i even told him, in the end i waited from 11.30am to 1pm till his class ends, he was eating with his fren -.- so i went to find them.. after that library and my bro tells me to go study and not follow him zz. so i went study.. den 3pm, he came to find me cos his fren got lessons le. we stayed till 5pm in the library den went find my cousin.

/edited
just cant wait for my exams to be over. soon. 13 more days =/ so fast -.-


impression of you totally changed already.

time to change my blogskin. there for ages.

/edited
guess i've to trust in the Lord for my exams and hope for the best. not much time left. had very bad headache yest morning till 6 plus that i decided to take 2 panadols & was fine after that. i can feel that im getting sick soon. ulcers, pain throat.

z nowadays mum seldom cook soup le.. and ive been studying with different frens outside.. spending alot of money. today decided to come home after school cos raining heavily, no mood to study outside lol -.- bought chicken bite set meal, 6 onehs onehs, one bubble milk tea, spent 6 over bucks le just for lunch -.- broke. waiting to work from june onwards! later still need to xfer $ for my shorts & hammies stuffs =/

last sun (18/4) - church wif parents & bro, lunch, grandma's hse till nite. lots of fun at grandma's hse as usual haha.

did this sand thingy with grace cousin at grandma's hse. i still rmb my siblings and i love it alot!

monday (19/4) - went with dad to pet lovers centre at serangoon gardens at 10.50am to send sachi doggie for grooming & i drove there! went to the country club to study with my fren B. at 12 plus decided to buy a drink & take a look at sachi. the staff was cutting her hair & she saw me, after which she kept whining so loudly LOL, kept wanting to come out. the staff was cheesed off & said aiyo LOL. so i faster run away. den lunch at 2.15pm, i went with my fren to see sachi again, her grooming was done & she saw me & started whining loudly again, wanting to come out. my fren said wahlao my fault, in the end the whole street can hear her whining LOL! ate laksa for lunch, went back to study till 7 plus.. dad came, fetched sachi & she was so happy, jumping & licking like mad haha. den went up and down to the car den sat in the car wif sachi while dad went chomp chomp to buy dinner. drove back home.

so called katong laksa.

tues (20/4) - ate maggie hor fun to save money lol. bible study at nite.

wed (21/4) - went out with fren R to study at kovan.. went mac to study.. den ate lunch at yoshinoya. it has been long since i ate there, ever since jc till now.. lots of memories.. bought the terriyaki chicken student meal.. went back mac to study. bought mcflurry to eat. really studied alot that day. home-cooked dinner at home (:

sat (24/4) - was at home studying, but cant study -.- at nite went with parents and bro to eat dinner at hougang ave 5.. den went to hougang plaza novena to look at furnitures. spent long time there.. i love this swing.. kept swinging haha. drove home after that.

sunday (25/4) - church with parents, giant at tampines, lunch there too, drove whole day, den home.. couldnt study also -.- den watched star awards from 5.30pm till 10pm den the party also.. eating dinner & watching star awards at same time, parents cooked (:

ouch, im having ulcers =/
the facts cant get in my head sians.

/edited
wondering what are u doing now hmm.



just saw that you found your.. again, sorry i didnt know hence.. =/ and seeing each time ur even happier, really makes me think the past is really nth much in your life perhaps & whatever time we had was really little due to my personal reasons. anyway it's past le. im happy for you. jiayous!

sometimes i really dont know what my brains are thinking. im so confused =/ i wish exams could be over soon, it's torturing but i hope for more time to study as well.. fruitful day of studying today.

shall update today's & yest's another day.

let the pics do most of the talking.

SAT (17/4)
was home all day long. procrasinating again. den was playing piano again, that wedding dress =.= put dog beside me lol. ate ice-cream, lollipop. etcetc. den wrapped cousins' presents, buffet dinner at cousin's party.

sachi looking at lollipop lol.

was bored, so took picture of the view from living room window.
grace and laura's present.
just took a corner of the dining area at aunt's hse when everyone's waiting for the cake.

swensen's 2.5kg ice-cream cake.

the incredibles!

cousin in middle, with her grandma & family.

my aunt, this handsome boy and me. lol i've been seeing him yearly at my cousin's party, eveyone calls him handsome boy. 5 years old, really handsome. i requested to take pic with him lol and my aunt helped me bring him here lol.

FRI (16/4)

Had school at 8.30am.. wore that floral skirt haha. den was msging bro since he had orientation but too bad his orientation ended late. so took train to raffles place, had my lunch. den my facial & it was free since this month is their anniversary. went home at 2.30pm, bought bubble tea haha. ate ice-cream. maid helped me to do temp straightening. played piano again. bro came home. dad bought dinner back i think, cant rmb.

THURS (15/4)

Had school at 3.30pm. after school at 6.30pm, took bus back. reached hougang at 8pm. was walking to hougang mall, wanna buy dinner & have a look at cotton-on lol & i saw xiang & yin. so went cotton on.. saw the floral bandage skirt, was so happy to see it on sales $7.50 for a skirt, unbelievable lol cos i nearly bought it online. tried 3 skirts and bought 2, decided not to buy the sailored orange/white one. bought that or fillet meal from kfc. home sweet home. dad bought sushi, ate 4..

took pic in the fitting room.

/edited

i admit im getting more and more stressed & emo each day but im glad today i had fun teaching jiamin piano & den playing tennis with her! she's good at remembering the keys.

i ate ice-cream today again at home, it's really nice.. and the way E types really make me laugh, kept laughing non-stop =.= with the *xxxxxx* lol and more -.-

went out studying yest at airport, really love the airport. anyway was thinking thru about how my parents brought us up cos even till now when i leave my hse, i'll let my parents know if im going out to walk or going out to shopping. even if ive informed my parents the day before, on the day itself when i leave hse, i'll let them know whether or not they're at home or in office. since im their first-born, they're super protective of me hence i became sticky to them. i cried when i go for camps, cried when they go on holiday business trips till only jc that i stopped crying -.- and also perhaps cos im the oldest hence there're many responsibilities for me to take on, running errands for parents etc, buying food or cooking for siblings when im home but nowadays due to my exams, my mum despite her being busy, cooked soup for lunch & i just fried some little extra stuffs for siblings, appreciate that & my dad will cook dinner at nite, my parents also inform me about the happenings in the family.. however, im soft-hearted hence i dont grumble or scold my bro harshly even when he makes a grave mistake cos i didnt wan my parents to keep scolding him. im just satisfied with the life i've now, im glad that i dont have to worry about supporting family & as compared to africa, im much better than them so i dont demand much from parents, just happy that ive food to eat & hse to sleep. i just need freedom to go out. moreover, i worked with my parents everyday for 7 months, hence i became even closer to them & that my mum would tell me everything about her boutique stuffs. but there tends to be tension & my sister would help me because i didnt have my own personal time at all even though my mum says i can just inform them & go out but i didnt want to just go out as and when i like though im working for them, i must have a sense of responsibility, so i'll only go out on sunday afternoon. my bad point is not being firm & decisive, i cant be a leader. soon there was a big quarrel in dec, somehow i need to concentrate on my studies alr cos i didnt touch at all ever since school started plus work. plus hammies & doggy stuffs already made me very busy. right now, no work but im studying everyday hence i cant wait for MAY to be over. i cant wait to start my internship.

just applied yesterday for my internship.. applied a few, hope i can be recruited haha. anyway after my exams gonna help out in my mum's boutique first, she's really busy. den i shall start internship in june, im broke cos supporting myself & hamsters too for quite long alr. i still rmb helping out my parents at office and boutique till last year dec due to quarrels =/ but now thinking i do miss working there haha. reflecting back the past again, due to the fact that im quite an introvert hence i dont know much people, so those who entered my life hurt me cos i put my 100% in every single one. i dont ask for much, i just need to be in the guy's heart. now everything is about studying daily -.- ive bible study tmr, glad that it's my 3rd year running, really know the bible indepth, that's good. time to sleep. made some reflections. im proud to say i never exceed my phone bills, not even a cent for a year le since my parents are paying ^^ gonna take up this responsibility when i start my internship (:






















thinking of the past of me and D, how we started though we're worlds apart. i didnt expect much from him cos i know i myself cant meet him often too, once per week or once every 2 weeks & also denying to others about us due to personal problems. I am glad he is understanding towards me due to personal reasons, hence most of the times i went to find him and went home myself cos i dont want him to waste his $ and time to send me home. im understanding and not demanding at all. even we da-bao food from coffeeshop & eat in his room sitting on the floor, it's kinda sweet too. we seldom quarrel cos we give in and take, and i only initiate to contact him and no others. i did whatever i could to make him happy, making & buying many stuffs on vday like gummy jellies forming heart shape, heart-shaped brownie, diy card, styrofoam roses wif bears placed in fanciful glass bottle & on his bday like making mini album+card, folding 268 straw hearts as his bday was 26 aug, adidas dry fit top, iron out heart shapes & his nick with those beads, glow sticks forming his nickname, 12 fancifully designed cupcakes from crystal jade kitchen.. he surprised me with the bear+rings on vday & lovely bears bouquet on bday. i still rmb when he was sad, i went to jp to DIY a cake for him & to bishan to pass to him & back hougang. he bought my siblings and i mac at midnite. he gave me hamsters & bought the rest of the stuffs when i wanna keep them. we went bottle tree park tog, walked around and saw so many interesting stuffs, we even sat the swan ride, super fun. we watched plenty of movies at the beginning, 1 to 2 weeks we watched 4 movies, i kept insisting to pay but he doesnt want den managed to pay once i think. both of us got no time cos im helping and working for my parents that time which includes sat & sun sometimes & he was working for his dad, hence i had hard time to find him. still we felt that it was impt to help our parents hence we didnt quarrel over it at all. thinking about it, we never quarrel much since i was faithful to him, i seriously only contacted him, that's what i do to all my pasts too. i thought i had same views with my pasts, but yet all broke my heart =/ i felt that in a r/s, a couple must trust each other, compromise, talk it out when there's quarrel and solve it, no point flaring up. i never flare up before to them, only cried. and to him, i cried & was angry for awhile but ultimately, we'll sit down and talk. i still rmb everytime, he'll talk those stuffs to me when i was going home, which really touched me and my tears dripped. but everything turned out wrongly, he said he does not deserve me? maybe cos im not his type.

everyday is about studies, either outside studying with frens or at home o: i wish the month of may would come soon but somehow i wish time will pass slowly too as im slow in my revision, im dead :/ just cooked rice just now for bro's and my lunch since mum alr cooked favourite black bean soup. time to study.

and..

seeing my frens so happily in long-lasting r/s, does really make me envy them. it's best if the guy loves me for who i am.

dead tired. blogged one post that day but decided not to publish it. will blog another one some other day. many stuffs took place. complicated.

busy with studies which really scares me off. hope i can survive and i must.

AW sad, they went prawning last nite, and i only found out when i logged in -.- i was like zzz, speechless. i wanna go do many many things like cycling, fishing, prawning, watch sunrise at beach etc.. anyway im dead tired now, came back home at about 11pm. went 21st bday party, first party this year haha. my stomach was really full after eating the buffet food plus bday cake, couldnt take in anymore food. took public transport back with frens after party.. super tired.

it seems like it's drifting apart sigh. im seriously dead tired. feels so weak. my head is so heavy.

things are not getting within my means sigh.

why do i feel so.. maybe i shld just disappear from..

shall blog when ive the time. gosh was shocked to find out yest when i was back from malacca that my revision lectures start today -.- 8.30am till afternoon z. time to sleep now, going to school tmr morning again -.-

many things happened just within 5 months? im glad that everything is over for him, glad that his sister organised many events to bond the family, seeing the pictures make me feel warm & happy. it tells me how impt family is. that explains why my parents emphasised alot on eating together and till now we always eat together as a family most of the days, every holiday trip as a family, every sunday gathering at dad's side grandma's hse with relatives. this bonds everyone up (: anyway back to the topic, i rmbed they organised outings like pulau ubin last time but sad to say i cant go at all due to personal reasons knowing how much i wanted to go hais. anyway i thought thru if i ever get into one, it's best to be an open one, so that i can join any activity organised by his frens or his family. i always wish to do that, but i always have no chance to do that. cherish and treasure the person next to you, u will never know what will happen.

many things took place today, another mind-boogling one. no idea why i became emotional at that time after thinking thru what G said.. i wish, i wish, i wish, everything would work out well.

im back from malacca. shall update tmr. lessons starting, that's boring. i really wish nothing will crop up now like my last 2 years in SIM.

today was home all along. den about 6 plus dad called back, telling me to bring down dog's basket, prepare half container of her food, plus her leash. need to bring her to woodlands to let a PET LOVERS CENTRE staff take care of her cos my family and i are going to malacca tmr till tues! it was a sudden decision, actually wanna go HK for 5 days but i didnt want since i have exams and i really need to study sigh. dad came home at 6.30pm, brought sachi along with him, SAD, miss her. den parents came back at 7.35pm, left with maid and bro.. went aunty hse, left maid there, went to boutique to settle admin stuffs and bring some stocks down.. left at about 8.55pm, went to hougang ave 5 coffeeshop to eat. throughout the journey, the person who takes care of SACHI doggie called and asked is it sachi hates black stuffs LOL. den my mum said yes and the lady said cos her mum wore all black and sachi barked non-stop lol. sachi hates to see light reflections, shadow, dark stuffs, she's racist also LOL. my dad jokingly said cos she herself so black le, she cant stand it to see another one darker than her -.- back to the story at the coffeeshop, 2 guys were sitting there kept looking over our table dont know for what, i was wondering if it's from the where or what -.- den my mum also say why they keep looking over, just stare like that till they left -.- anyway went home after that. started packing my stuffs for tmr's trip! famous hainanese chicken rice balls, Bei zhan restaurant, here i come :0 nights, time to sleep. hungry =/

anyway new geek specs which i bought online arrived today. 5 bucks only.
www.wenxin-blogstation.blogspot.com/search/label/GEEK
camwhore in car haha. was at home all day long, wenyi was at our hse cos she had school today & my dad fetched her to school & back. hammies cages are so dirty le -.- nurul and i washed it last friday only -.- the hamsters go mess up everything. I was so distracted today, cant concentrate to study, but i must study. my mind was so uneasy today, heart was racing so fast -.- dad bought back chicken rice today, all of us ate.. after that, i cant get to study at all -.- pacing around, den keep thinking. den decided to play piano, den wenyi was listening.. dont know why cannot concentrate to play also zzz. den decided to stop playing.. looked at my notes awhile den so fast parents called at 5.05pm to go food expo at suntec.. so my bro, wenyi and me went down basement.. den we went suntec. met sis there, the food expo is so empty -.- ate so much. cousin and i bought mian xian and deep fried crispy chicken.. den my dad bought curry rice for me. den still got aloe vera drink.. i was bloated. mian xian wasnt nice, perhaps cos i dont know how to appreciate eating that. after which walked round till 7 plus, bought ice-creamsss yummyyy haha. left expo and it was so jammed up -.- sent wenyi home and home sweet home. fed doggie.. actually wanna go giant tampines but it was too late. recd my geek specs! so happy but it seems big. bathed, walked around hse, went up parents room to watch the new channel U hk drama, nice show (:

im dead dead dead =x im feeling... jealous?

decided to get back to blogging & put it on fb. actually i dont really like pple to know my blog cos it's quite personal.. this blog has been with me since 2004. time really flies.

anyway this is just a random post, nothing in particular. love is so unpredictable. im asking myself if im the one having problem. no idea why my pasts whom went into another r/s all lasted till now. i really do envy them. who does not want to be loved? but ultimately, it's best to get a guy who loves me more than i do because for every relationship, i put in my 100% hence i suffer 100% hurt as well if the guy leaves me. But i shld trust in God for this.

did nothing much today, supposed to be studying. was teaching wenyi maths over the phone as she needed help with some questions. after which, just fried egg for sis, warmed up canned meat den took half for sis. maid deep-fried fries, took half out for sis. den the rest of everything for bro. ate my lunch, love the soup my mum cooked. after that, just took a bath & started studying. but distractions are indeed distractions, switched on tv =/ but i muted it lol. den after reading my notes awhile, i decided to go sleep. went sleep, woke up, cooked rice for dinner. slacked around hse. i was pondering the whole day, i took out all the pasts and looked. had piano just now, after that since my dad was using the desktop in my room, i lied on my bed and thought again. will i have happiness at all in my life? i dont believe in that anymore. it's really so painful and torturing. i hate it. crying so much is also useless. enough of all these. PRELIMS ARE FINALLY OVER but yet TONS OF REVISION CLASSES ARE HERE sian and REAL EXAMS IN MAY!!! MUGGING PERIOD!

hope to change my blog skin soon haha.. i need to study hard!!! time's running out. cant wait for june.

haven been updating my blog at all. neglected this blog totally. anyway it's time for me to prioritise my time. thinking of two months down the road & it's my final exams. im so stressed up by so many matters. no idea why things turn out like that. simply put, many things in life are unpredictable & only God has control of it. But i thank God for putting me thru these days. studies will be the first for me right now & i hope i can make it thru till the exams are over.

cny's over, lots of fun. too much to blog again -.- hence im not blogging abt it.

time for spring cleaning. today i was late for school & my teacher walked up the lecture hall to the back and asked me why was i late -.-

studying time! prelims beginning of march. revision in march & april. finals in early may. haven been contacting joyce and clique.. only contact joyce regarding schoolwork.. i dont like to blog, i find it boring. so it will be short and sweet.

does anyone know anything about polaroids? i've been asking all blogshops selling that about it, seen plenty of different cams on blogshops, hardwarezone forums, ebays every nite for 2 weeks plus le.. those polaroid onestep, cool cam 600, all really nice! but after reading many comments about the films which are difficult to purchase, i decided not to follow on that. hence fujifilm white mini 7s would be better. anyone has any suggestions? i need it in 4 to 5 months time.

didnt post for super long already, decided to post one now.. i am not going to state any resolutions because i always do not follow it and will forget after a day -.- have not met up with any frens for more than a month since my sec school cca gathering last dec. met up with iras pple last fri finally. met up at cityhall den walked to suntec b1.. lots to catch up since we did not meet up or really contact for 1 year le lol, plus i dont sign in msn, neither am i active in facebook.

today actually wanted to buy lunch for myself and bro den head home when parents fetched me there.. at hougang mall, my parents and i went ntuc to buy plenty of oranges, all different brands, 3 big packets of rice again plus some other stuffs. they needed to give the oranges to customers.. we took abt an hour to buy everything, i filled in the lucky draws as usual, hope we can win haha. we went to the car, afterwhich i went to buy lunch for my mum and me, bro didnt want to eat. back to car, mum said dad needed to send the oranges to several customers in tuas/jurong like last year when i went wif dad to send mooncakes.. hence i dont mind going with my dad since my mum is afraid of him driving alone for long hours. fetched mum to office first, we went up to have the customer names written on the stickers to stick on the mandarin orange cartons. 9 to be given out, all different packagings. left wif dad and we started sticking the names on the cartons. it was 1.25pm. i told dad to head home to pass to my bro his kueh, same time wanna take my school notes lol, i was thinking i can study in the car -.- went to serangoon gardens after that to look after the car while dad went to dbs bank. left to hougang area to pump pertrol, bought 2 bottles of pink dolphin, 2 bucks for 2, cheap - one for me, one for dad. left to start the journey. took street directory and in the car with dad to find the places. 2 hours plus journey to 6 places, a great time catching up with my dad about his stories again. we didnt get lost at all in those tuas & jurong industrial areas haha, i was sitting at the back telling him to turn where from street directory, there were two he can still remember the directions! i was flipping within page 69, 79, 100, 101.. we went dso, it was troublesome at there again cos need to put hp in lockers and our ICs at the guard hse.. den still need to check the car.. at 4.10pm, we finished everything at last! dad suggested gg to tiong bahru to eat his lunch cos he has not eaten. mum called and suggested to us gg to tiong bahru too lol den i told her that's what dad said too, she laughed. i ate fried kway teow, 2 bucks, cheap. dad ate bak ku teh plus fried kway teow too! dad bought mum's hot cheng teng.. head back to office at 5.50pm, helped mum wif tagging of clothes since she needs it urgently.. finally finished everything at 7.10pm, quickly left office. dad sent mum to bible study, we went hougang mall 4th floor kopitiam den 1st floor to buy bro & sis dinner. dad and i didnt eat cos we were full but i feel hungry now lol. i have not studied today ah! didnt do my bible study yet!!!! went home after that! hammies have grown fatter each day -.- still timid as usual but they're really really cute and chubby. orange one fatter & bigger than white one. sachi also become bigger size ever since we weighed her last time till this year, gained 1 kg.

now my life is just home lol. i just dont feel like contacting or catch up with any friends.. i complained i have no time to meet up with them when im working for my parents, i can only meet my friends on sunday, i dont like to just go for work as and when i like, to me is not right. For me, though they're my parents, still i must treat it i am working for other companies as personal and work are two different matters hence when i am at work, i am 100% into work, no distractions. so right now, im not working after the big argument with my mum last dec. Throughout the years, i have matured alot & it may me think alot. I know how tough my parents work, hence i am really satisfied with what i have, im trying hard to save, like my phone bills, i proudly say i didnt exceed continously for a year le.. last time i do exceed but is a few bucks. if i can walk to and back from hougang mall, i'll walk & save transport fees when i buy lunch for siblings or return from school. i didnt want to trouble my dad to buy lunch cos i know it's tiring for him driving up and down & by the time, he has no time left to do his work, that's what he said repeatedly in office for many occasions but he dont dare to voice out. i dont ask my dad to fetch me from school at all, i dont mind taking public transport back no matter how heavy my schoolnotes are. he's my dad, not my chaffeur with just a call and he's here, i feel that's not right. my dad always insisted on fetching me back to sch, i strongly object & wanna go back myself. they didnt know why till i flared up one day when i waited one hour for him to come. they said they do not want me to be xinku, carry many notes but to me, i told them i do not want them to be xinku instead. however, lessons early in the morning, i need my dad to fetch me to school which is twice per week cos i cant wake up & i need to wake up at 6.30am when my bro already uses this com in my room till 10pm to 12 midnite. i do not switch on the water heater to save electricity bills unless it is early in the morning or my dad will switch on for me because he kept thinking i forget to switch on. usually when i sleep den i'll just switch on the air-con for half hour, in the end i often wake up in the middle of nite sweating zz hence sometimes i switch on for awhile to cool the room down. there are plenty more to say. there's always a purpose behind stuffs i do but i dont say out. family are always there for u, friends do help but they cant be with you all the time. i do not want to add more burden to my parents, hence im trying to help by these mini actions cos they also wont stop working till they're 60 over, so by helping them would be better after all they're my parents, plus seeing how my friends around me are helping their parents to lift the burden too, i really respect them. i am not trying to show how great i am, but i am being truthful here. though there're many attractive stuffs in life like my favourite clothes etc, but i never tell my parents how much i like it, i dont request stuffs from them, but somehow my mum can read my mind -.- also, thank God for the many stuffs which my mum showered on us - facials, clothes, facial products etc.. i know im fortunate but sometimes still i'll quarrel with her over my results which made me boiled up. to me results is not associated with freedom. i feel as a parent, character of a child is very impt. i know every family has different rules, my parents aint strict except wif r/s stuffs where i know some girlfrens my age do have 12 midnite curfew. but for me whether or not there's curfew cos it doesnt matter cos i'll definitely return before 12. in my opinion, i think is dangerous to be out there at nite & it's inappropriate for a girl to be out there late and i do not want my parents to be worrying and staying up late at nite. they're getting on age, it's not good to let them stay up & i wanna let them to have good life. so actions are better than words. i do not like to act filial infront of my frens, i want to be real and truthful. im rather low-key also hence no one knows what's happening to me lol, i also dont blog but after seeing many issues, i decided to just type here about how i feel. everyone has different opinions of course, this is just part of how i feel in my heart.