poa's over but right now im so stressed up cos tmr's macroecons -.- super stressed up till i dont know what i can do right now. anyway i console myself by saying this is only prelims, like mock exams which they dont even really mark. besides that, poa question paper has so many typo errors dots, questions also not clear, can see the ang moh lecturers from london set it in a hurray. saw the news abt the indonesian chinese, a eee student who stabbed his lecturer twice z, i guess there must be some disagreements btwn the 2 of them previously hence they were arguing during the final year project discussion. i wonder why he cut his wrist before jumping down? so that he will die cos he jumped frm 4th floor only? it's such a pity, it's his final year already yet this has to happen. the girl who witnessed him jumping will sure be traumatised, cant imagine she witnessing the jump and blood just ooze out.. my uncle edited all the bday and photoshoot photos le.

anw back to that day, fetched parents from airport with sister guiding me phew cos ive no idea the way to airport. i freaked out in car cos i was driving at 90km/hr only whereas all other cars drove a 120km/hr and all overtook me -.- finally reached airport parked and went find parents at belt 37 SQ117 i think. den forgot the angmoh came back with my parents also -.- in the end all of us wore home clothes z. she was so funny. my parents told us stories of her, all of us laughing like mad haha.

back to just now, my fren was using my xfannx to train and i was using my didi acc to find my fren but my fren didnt know it was me. so solosinz123 from hollywood came along asking to buy white essence i said alright so i asked my fren to sell him but my fren didnt know it was me and just ignored me. solo asked his fren dess to trade me but i didnt accept cos it shld be my character xfannx. in the end solo scolded f words at me and my fren becos he waited so long & no one wanna trade him to sell. so pissed off. wanted to pm million888 but wasnt online nvm forget it. i stopped playing ms for a period of time till june. my fren will be using it to spam z.

yesterday whole day have been driving ard, drove bro to sch den back home, den drove to buy lunch den same time drove bro back, den drove him to his tuition den back home, den fetched him from tuition den bought dinner back same time. lol i drove over the kerb at my hse downstairs. later driving to airport to fetch parents cos sister suggested den parents also ok with it.

edited
now is 18th feb 12am! sms-ed to my dad happy birthday le!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY DADDY!

so busy today. parents left for KL this afternoon. left hse at 6.30 quickly went hougang mall buy dinner for bro den rush back. wanted bro to go with me cos i will be late for bible study, 1st lesson somemore. in the end reached home left hse waited for bus for so long still didnt arrive. hais no choice didnt go for bible study so went back home. reached home ate my dinner, went wash up kitchen so many ants -.- den washed bro's uniform till my whole body all wet z and washed mum, sis and my "stuffs", 12 of it cos never wash for 4 days. no maid so everything need to do le. after that went down iron bro's uniform for his sch tmr. went bathe, cleaned dog's poo and urine so many times z la. den i haven even touch any of my studies at all dots. tmr need to wake up at 6 plus am to wake my bro up z den drive him to school or hougang station zz hope my driving will be alright haha.

sobs i wan my xFaNNx get HT neck, egg, gene 30, mw haha! AR also sian. guess need to do service ba. quit ms ba. what's the point of high level.

im gonna stop blogging for a moment.

edited

im always been seen online often these few days reason being my time-table! so frustrated abt it. it was first said to start on 9th feb at 3pm and i had lessons on that day at 3.30pm. i tot of going to school earlier to the school's computer lab. but at 10 plus, joyce called me to tell me not to go to school cos the school's computer lab are all filled up cos she's at sch at that time. no choice i didnt go to school, i glued to the com at 12 plus logged in did survey first. all of us just glued to the com getting ready for 3pm to chiong in and book. in the end at 2.30 we recd a msg that the school's server was down again -.- waste my time. den recd another msg saying the eRev time-table selection will be postponed till further notice. after which 13th feb morning at 10 plus i recd a msg from sch saying eRev will be on that day at 3pm -.- i got school at 12pm den joyce called me to tell me cannot go school again have to stay home to choose. glued to com till 2.45pm recd a msg saying system down -.- dots la. den another msg saying it will be postponed den another msg again saying it will be postponed till further notice. wah so angry. den today morning 10 plus while i was sleeping recd the sch's msg again saying eRev will be today at 7pm dots and i got woke up by that msg. soon after joyce called my home phone cos my hp was diverted to mac delivery lols. i still went sch as usual but left earlier and i reached home at 6.56pm. just nice z. before that in shuttle bus called mum tell mum help me switch on the com cos i dont have the pw. jy also called me z. that period we are like so busy -.- den we all conference z choose till wan vomit blood. den 7.54pm confirmed den later my frens callled me again ask me change again cos suddenly got earlier dates available dots. i keep changing diao. only can make changes for 3 times now left last try le. my time-table like shat, so many saturday and sunday 10am to 5pm -.- sian.

after so long i feel that nobody understands me better than he does. all of a sudden i miss him so much, those memories we had and my tears just rolled down my cheeks. i really do miss him hais.

edited

15/2

today i went to grandma hse den cousin got hamster i carry den kept shouting z den my cousin put on my leg haha. came back home have to spin clothes den put in dryer. den washing machine spoilt so left this lump of soap lol. the washing machine new de. den i took pic of sachi on my mattress. den i went iron clothes. parents came back we cut the cake. super nice! tastes like ferror rocher for the middle part of cake super nice.

14/2

v day was wow. on the streets saw so many couples -.- somemore bouquet of flowers z. anw nite time supposed to go out with family eat. in the end inside car hais den mum no mood eat all go dabao go home eat. dad bought vday cake in the end didnt cut.

13/2
i learnt to bake brownie from sister and baked this lol. it's very nice.

got scolded so badly just now from start of dinner 8pm hence i cried thruout till now cos i lost my hse main door key.. den she started scolding me for studies, maid everything that she could say me. i was so sad, really depressed that i kept crying. den i recd a msg and read which made me even worse. i msged back and cried while msging. even till now im typing this post. im crying now cos not for her scolding but the msg. double blow to me. maybe it's really time to let go?

my mum scolded me thruout the journey last sunday on the way to fetch my cousin for the photoshoot. she said if i want to do things shldnt do halfway cos for eg photoshoot since im going for it for my 21st bday kind of shoot and i should just go enjoy it. i didnt pack the clothes and everything for the photoshoot, i did it last minute at 3 plus after my poa lessons hence my uncle waited for me for hours :/ my mum said i always like to procrascinate, true. hence my mum said since got my bday pt, cny den photoshoot, i just enjoy myself first, after everything is over seriously concentrate on my studies (: so yeah from now on pure studying.

now there isnt any maid, im back to ironing clothes for whole family -.- my hse clothes too much to iron, we changed too many times in one day le. all dishes everything all need to wash ourselves le, floor also need to mop, toilet also, even dog poo and urine also need to clear and clean up. sachi the doggie purposely poo and urine dunno how many times, i changed 6 times for her in one day plus my parents 2 times, 8 times -.- busy period again plus prelims are coming -.- i can just go flunk my prelims (:

last sunday went uncle's hse for photoshoot. my 24 year old cousin came along too to take with me (: my uncle is a senior lecturer in tp but he has interest in photography. my bday pt that day he brought those umbrella shape props for photo taking. reached his hse was shocked to see the studio being set up, he bought the whole set of equipments -.- he's very high tech, he will buy those latest IT and electronics gadgets de, he even had a room just for watching movie with big screen and full range of those audio and sound systems. IT stuffs we saw a look alike photo frame at the stairsway and it turned out to be an LCD screen showing slide shows of all the photoshoots he took, it was so COOL! my cousin and i wore formal at first den dress den casual/sports wear. we reached late.. supposed to be 3.30 but cos i got something on, we reached there only at 5.30. so make up everything already near 6.30, sis helped me make up lol cos i dunno how z den took till 7.40 den we rest, changed to casual and went down for dinner. continued after dinner, we took face emotions shots, sports attire shorts and we held tennis rackets haha. rich the doggie so cute, it seems he knows we are taking photos hence he walked over to the front of us facing the camera and sat down and posed with us LOL. finished everything at 10 plus it was so late le, luckily my uncle has no lectures the following day. my cousin and i enjoyed ourselves, it was an experience. uploaded pics that were taken by sis wif digi cam on that day. my uncle will pass the soft copies when he finished editting my bday and this photoshoot photos.

for those who are asking the photos for my bday, i uploaded the digi cam photos, just abit of pics., not clear as well so sorry about that. click under 21st bday thanks.

http://s217.photobucket.com/albums/cc36/pinkblooms/
(it's locked, ask me for the pw)

2 years passed and suddenly contacted me again. i didnt reply but he called as usual and i just ignored. why is it at this time suddenly, everything just start popping out. sian vday coming also, this year like everything in a rush cant do anything.

my uncle's still editing my bday party photos. hope he will pass me the soft copies soon.

hais no mood to post. always in my mind all day long yet i hurt another. what decision shld i make? this time im really lost.

busy new year, shall update when im free and i when i can use com cos now using sis com for a while only.

so busy this whole week. super busy. dont even have time to touch the com, no time to practise piano and study as well..

cant wait for every friday ((: oops forgot i went watch red cliff on fri actually haha. next movie will be jack neo's new movie & fann wong's one. jack neo's one is so funny, saw the trailer before the red cliff started. one part is a woman asking a man, "are u really benny's father?" the man replied "then do i look like his mother?" LOL so funny! then got one part hui ge was so funny he said he can form a sentence using colours which is.. "When the phone rings "Green, Green", I "pink" up the phone and say "yellow", "Blue" is this? "White" do you want? You dont "purplely" call me. If you make me angry, I wont call you "black". lols so funny la. It should be, when the phone rings "Ring, Ring", I pick up the phone and say hello, who is this? What do you want? You dont purposely call me. If you make me angry, I wont call you back. hahas.

trailer:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xzVgbZE22Jk

nites off to bed.

went to watch red cliff 2 last fri at amk hub. nice movie! so funny, we kept laughing hahaa.

i kept asking myself what for i think. useless also ma. i should just get on with life, lead a happy life, do well in studies. why emo for what also pointless. no more emo posts ((:

why is my life always like that? why is it always filled with obstacles? why is it not smooth-sailing. why is it always be filled with bitterness, pain, sorrows. so unfair. WHY?!!! each time im feeling more sad. will i ever be happy? charmaine, stop thinking too much! so stressed up by everything. prelims coming soon it's final exams. time passes so fast.

<3

my mum just left for hongkong this early morning. last nite 4 plus am she suddenly came down to my room to use the com -.- gave me a big shock cos sachi was in my room den she suddenly howled and barked so loudly. mum forgot to choose her plane seat haha. in the end she switched on com and went in the website only to realise the seat was chosen for her already :/ den she went upstairs to her room le haha.

yesterday (sat)
woke up straightaway bathed went off wif parents. fetched sis from comfort driving centre cos she still has 45 mins to her final theory test 12.50pm, den went enterprise 1 office to buy tea and kaya toast. dad dropped mum and i at office cos the accountant is there doing last year's account and my dad sent my sis for her test. dad came back sat for 20 mins den left to fetch my sis lol grats she passed her final theory test on 1st attempt too! cant wait for her to pass her practical driving as well den both of us can drive haha! maybe dad's buying a car for us YEAH! dad came back to fetch mum and i, den dad dropped mum and sis at city plaza to get clothes den dad dropped me at amara shopping centre at 2pm to help my aunt at my mum's boutique. so messy z den i climbed up and down packing those clothes stock in the cupboard cos it's till the ceiling -.- whatever tedious stuffs my aunt want to do i just tell her i will do lol cos she's already 60. like packing all these, i'll label all the clothes and carry up, my aunt just passed the clothes to me.. ironing i also go "snatch" from her to do cos i know it's tiring using that standing steam iron, den let her go think what clothes shld be wore on the models haha. my mum also said we must have initiative ma. we were packing and hence didnt open up the shutters fully den many wanted to come in but we told them to come in later. we opened near 3pm no choice.. one indian customer came to collect her clothese cos my mum said will shift the clothes button for her. my mum even put a stud dere & shifted the 1st button. she came in she wasnt happy and said it's to shift all the buttons not 1. my aunt was saying no she said first button only and my aunt kept insisting on that -.- den the customer said "im so disappointed with you all. is this how you treat your customers, dont even take in customer's instructions." my aunt was like grumbing that she only said shift first button only zz. when i heard it i was like die den i put on a smile, told her nicely "im so sorry abt that, i will shift all the buttons for you and put another stud there. im really so sorry about that." after which the indian customer cooled down and said "i will come back in 10 days. get this done." -.- zz. soon mum, dad, sis came wif new stocks. dad left for home den mum, aunt, sis and i were in boutique.. den so many pple came.. it was like non stop -.- me and aunt didnt even eat lunch at all cos too many customers zz den all the customers only left near 7pm. i went to tanjong pagar plaza buy cai fan cos it's really cheap 2 bucks. so i dabao, ate my lunch and dinner tog at boutique lol. den settle all the accounts, dad & bro came to fetch us den we went pasa malam at there, i just buy pokka green tea. back to hougang to buy dinner and dropped aunt den went home (:

last tues (6/1)
after corporate finance lect i was walking down wif my 3 girlfrens to the bus stop to take bus home. den suddenly joyce and weifang said they're gg to jurong point cos got new extension den joyce also need to wait for her frens at there till 6 plus. den they asked me and jiaying if we wanna follow along.. so i was like anything ba den i followed them but jy went home.. so went jurong point, ate at subway, shared wif joyce a subway melts footlong meal den we went walking round whole of jurong point, went in most of the shops. joyce bought a top and i just tried a top as well for fun haha. then we went skin food, thefaceshop which was in korea as well cos i wanted to check the prices haha. yeah in spore they sell the mask for eg thefaceshop 3 for s$10 but i bought in korea 1 for s$1.90 only lol. then skin food mask sells 1 for S$5 and S$8 also have in spore but in korea they sell only 1 for S$1.90 -.- so much cheaper la zz. then we walked den looked at those cute stuffs so cute!! got toilet paper holder which is toothpaste the big tube design thingy, dont know how to explain. many many stuffs. den weifang bought a small scooter display for her fren's bday so cute and nice! we went drink sweettalk bubble tea sat down and talked den soon joyce's fren came le.. so me and weifang left to go home!

it's no longer the same.. le. things really aint the same anymore. i still rmb how particular it was abt the.. but now.. it's like back to the incident in aug alr, i had enough le.

exams are coming. end feb's my prelims. may's my final exams.

sometimes im really so afraid. it's so unpredictable.. change my mind again after.. i shldnt think so much. be happy (:

ive already made up my mind, my final decision. memories are definitely there, no matter what it's always there cos it was simply too deep le. till now im still writing our names on my new foolscap cover cos my old one finished le. the old one also had our names on it.

on 31st uncle fetched quite early after which went his hse to fetch laura and aunty tong lynn den head off. uncle parked at suntec from there we walked to spore flyer cos he reserved tables at O'Learys SPORTSBAR & GRILL zz. i saw the menu in the car then i was like O.O cos all so ex. quite a long walk to spore flyer cos we didnt know where's the restaurant too.. den same time took pics of flyer. didnt know what happened to the flyer on 23rd dec till i came back from my trip on 28th. at the sportsbar, uncle ordered mocktails for us.. 10 mocktails and 1 ice lemon tea for laura. mocktail costs 7 bucks each -.- 6 of them ordered fish and chips and it's 17 bucks each. aunty tong lynn and me ordered linguini, 20+ bucks. laura ordered a plate of 6 chicken wings wif fries, my uncle ordered spare ribs 26+ bucks, one cousin ordered steak 22+bucks. den uncle ordered 1 extra fish and chip and spare ribs for us to share -.- altogether 13 dishes o.o we all like all stuffing ourselves zz so full they kept asking us to eat. den i almost finished my mocktail when i found an ant in there z den they gave me a new cup. uncle paid all :/ my cousins and i were whispering to each other how to pay him back really feel so bad. the whole spore flyer there was so empty also. they got mini performance there but so little pple z den went over to the grass patch near floating platform but need to stand till 12 when it was only 9 something den so empty as well probably cos too early so we walked back to spore flyer area. to our delight, we found so many stone tables empty.. so we cousins sat one table, my uncle, 2 aunties & laura sat another table. 7 of us played taiti, took turns 4 first den winner get to play wif the 3 later and so on. den uncle and aunts played donkey wif laura -.- we played halfway got cockroach z den all ran to another stone table den continued playing. i stopped playing after that.. auntie came over to learn and play taiti too.. soon it was 11.45pm.. den we just walk over to the sea there den a grp of 5 pple just shouted 10,9,...3,2,1 then we saw fireworks.. so nice!! so big, so much.. super nice. den finished watching went off le. walked back to suntec den uncle fetched wenyi, xinyi back home. bro and i went to their hse to wait for parents to fetch us. home sweet home.

yest packed my whole table, so clean and neat le :) printed out mthly time table also. that day went library borrow a storybook yet to read yet.. printed all my macro lecture notes as well. last nite wrapped my bro's sec 4 books -.- 8 books zz.