busy with studies which really scares me off. hope i can survive and i must.

AW sad, they went prawning last nite, and i only found out when i logged in -.- i was like zzz, speechless. i wanna go do many many things like cycling, fishing, prawning, watch sunrise at beach etc.. anyway im dead tired now, came back home at about 11pm. went 21st bday party, first party this year haha. my stomach was really full after eating the buffet food plus bday cake, couldnt take in anymore food. took public transport back with frens after party.. super tired.

it seems like it's drifting apart sigh. im seriously dead tired. feels so weak. my head is so heavy.

things are not getting within my means sigh.

why do i feel so.. maybe i shld just disappear from..

shall blog when ive the time. gosh was shocked to find out yest when i was back from malacca that my revision lectures start today -.- 8.30am till afternoon z. time to sleep now, going to school tmr morning again -.-

many things happened just within 5 months? im glad that everything is over for him, glad that his sister organised many events to bond the family, seeing the pictures make me feel warm & happy. it tells me how impt family is. that explains why my parents emphasised alot on eating together and till now we always eat together as a family most of the days, every holiday trip as a family, every sunday gathering at dad's side grandma's hse with relatives. this bonds everyone up (: anyway back to the topic, i rmbed they organised outings like pulau ubin last time but sad to say i cant go at all due to personal reasons knowing how much i wanted to go hais. anyway i thought thru if i ever get into one, it's best to be an open one, so that i can join any activity organised by his frens or his family. i always wish to do that, but i always have no chance to do that. cherish and treasure the person next to you, u will never know what will happen.

many things took place today, another mind-boogling one. no idea why i became emotional at that time after thinking thru what G said.. i wish, i wish, i wish, everything would work out well.

im back from malacca. shall update tmr. lessons starting, that's boring. i really wish nothing will crop up now like my last 2 years in SIM.

today was home all along. den about 6 plus dad called back, telling me to bring down dog's basket, prepare half container of her food, plus her leash. need to bring her to woodlands to let a PET LOVERS CENTRE staff take care of her cos my family and i are going to malacca tmr till tues! it was a sudden decision, actually wanna go HK for 5 days but i didnt want since i have exams and i really need to study sigh. dad came home at 6.30pm, brought sachi along with him, SAD, miss her. den parents came back at 7.35pm, left with maid and bro.. went aunty hse, left maid there, went to boutique to settle admin stuffs and bring some stocks down.. left at about 8.55pm, went to hougang ave 5 coffeeshop to eat. throughout the journey, the person who takes care of SACHI doggie called and asked is it sachi hates black stuffs LOL. den my mum said yes and the lady said cos her mum wore all black and sachi barked non-stop lol. sachi hates to see light reflections, shadow, dark stuffs, she's racist also LOL. my dad jokingly said cos she herself so black le, she cant stand it to see another one darker than her -.- back to the story at the coffeeshop, 2 guys were sitting there kept looking over our table dont know for what, i was wondering if it's from the where or what -.- den my mum also say why they keep looking over, just stare like that till they left -.- anyway went home after that. started packing my stuffs for tmr's trip! famous hainanese chicken rice balls, Bei zhan restaurant, here i come :0 nights, time to sleep. hungry =/

anyway new geek specs which i bought online arrived today. 5 bucks only.
www.wenxin-blogstation.blogspot.com/search/label/GEEK
camwhore in car haha. was at home all day long, wenyi was at our hse cos she had school today & my dad fetched her to school & back. hammies cages are so dirty le -.- nurul and i washed it last friday only -.- the hamsters go mess up everything. I was so distracted today, cant concentrate to study, but i must study. my mind was so uneasy today, heart was racing so fast -.- dad bought back chicken rice today, all of us ate.. after that, i cant get to study at all -.- pacing around, den keep thinking. den decided to play piano, den wenyi was listening.. dont know why cannot concentrate to play also zzz. den decided to stop playing.. looked at my notes awhile den so fast parents called at 5.05pm to go food expo at suntec.. so my bro, wenyi and me went down basement.. den we went suntec. met sis there, the food expo is so empty -.- ate so much. cousin and i bought mian xian and deep fried crispy chicken.. den my dad bought curry rice for me. den still got aloe vera drink.. i was bloated. mian xian wasnt nice, perhaps cos i dont know how to appreciate eating that. after which walked round till 7 plus, bought ice-creamsss yummyyy haha. left expo and it was so jammed up -.- sent wenyi home and home sweet home. fed doggie.. actually wanna go giant tampines but it was too late. recd my geek specs! so happy but it seems big. bathed, walked around hse, went up parents room to watch the new channel U hk drama, nice show (:

im dead dead dead =x im feeling... jealous?

decided to get back to blogging & put it on fb. actually i dont really like pple to know my blog cos it's quite personal.. this blog has been with me since 2004. time really flies.

anyway this is just a random post, nothing in particular. love is so unpredictable. im asking myself if im the one having problem. no idea why my pasts whom went into another r/s all lasted till now. i really do envy them. who does not want to be loved? but ultimately, it's best to get a guy who loves me more than i do because for every relationship, i put in my 100% hence i suffer 100% hurt as well if the guy leaves me. But i shld trust in God for this.

did nothing much today, supposed to be studying. was teaching wenyi maths over the phone as she needed help with some questions. after which, just fried egg for sis, warmed up canned meat den took half for sis. maid deep-fried fries, took half out for sis. den the rest of everything for bro. ate my lunch, love the soup my mum cooked. after that, just took a bath & started studying. but distractions are indeed distractions, switched on tv =/ but i muted it lol. den after reading my notes awhile, i decided to go sleep. went sleep, woke up, cooked rice for dinner. slacked around hse. i was pondering the whole day, i took out all the pasts and looked. had piano just now, after that since my dad was using the desktop in my room, i lied on my bed and thought again. will i have happiness at all in my life? i dont believe in that anymore. it's really so painful and torturing. i hate it. crying so much is also useless. enough of all these. PRELIMS ARE FINALLY OVER but yet TONS OF REVISION CLASSES ARE HERE sian and REAL EXAMS IN MAY!!! MUGGING PERIOD!

hope to change my blog skin soon haha.. i need to study hard!!! time's running out. cant wait for june.

haven been updating my blog at all. neglected this blog totally. anyway it's time for me to prioritise my time. thinking of two months down the road & it's my final exams. im so stressed up by so many matters. no idea why things turn out like that. simply put, many things in life are unpredictable & only God has control of it. But i thank God for putting me thru these days. studies will be the first for me right now & i hope i can make it thru till the exams are over.

cny's over, lots of fun. too much to blog again -.- hence im not blogging abt it.

time for spring cleaning. today i was late for school & my teacher walked up the lecture hall to the back and asked me why was i late -.-

studying time! prelims beginning of march. revision in march & april. finals in early may. haven been contacting joyce and clique.. only contact joyce regarding schoolwork.. i dont like to blog, i find it boring. so it will be short and sweet.

does anyone know anything about polaroids? i've been asking all blogshops selling that about it, seen plenty of different cams on blogshops, hardwarezone forums, ebays every nite for 2 weeks plus le.. those polaroid onestep, cool cam 600, all really nice! but after reading many comments about the films which are difficult to purchase, i decided not to follow on that. hence fujifilm white mini 7s would be better. anyone has any suggestions? i need it in 4 to 5 months time.

didnt post for super long already, decided to post one now.. i am not going to state any resolutions because i always do not follow it and will forget after a day -.- have not met up with any frens for more than a month since my sec school cca gathering last dec. met up with iras pple last fri finally. met up at cityhall den walked to suntec b1.. lots to catch up since we did not meet up or really contact for 1 year le lol, plus i dont sign in msn, neither am i active in facebook.

today actually wanted to buy lunch for myself and bro den head home when parents fetched me there.. at hougang mall, my parents and i went ntuc to buy plenty of oranges, all different brands, 3 big packets of rice again plus some other stuffs. they needed to give the oranges to customers.. we took abt an hour to buy everything, i filled in the lucky draws as usual, hope we can win haha. we went to the car, afterwhich i went to buy lunch for my mum and me, bro didnt want to eat. back to car, mum said dad needed to send the oranges to several customers in tuas/jurong like last year when i went wif dad to send mooncakes.. hence i dont mind going with my dad since my mum is afraid of him driving alone for long hours. fetched mum to office first, we went up to have the customer names written on the stickers to stick on the mandarin orange cartons. 9 to be given out, all different packagings. left wif dad and we started sticking the names on the cartons. it was 1.25pm. i told dad to head home to pass to my bro his kueh, same time wanna take my school notes lol, i was thinking i can study in the car -.- went to serangoon gardens after that to look after the car while dad went to dbs bank. left to hougang area to pump pertrol, bought 2 bottles of pink dolphin, 2 bucks for 2, cheap - one for me, one for dad. left to start the journey. took street directory and in the car with dad to find the places. 2 hours plus journey to 6 places, a great time catching up with my dad about his stories again. we didnt get lost at all in those tuas & jurong industrial areas haha, i was sitting at the back telling him to turn where from street directory, there were two he can still remember the directions! i was flipping within page 69, 79, 100, 101.. we went dso, it was troublesome at there again cos need to put hp in lockers and our ICs at the guard hse.. den still need to check the car.. at 4.10pm, we finished everything at last! dad suggested gg to tiong bahru to eat his lunch cos he has not eaten. mum called and suggested to us gg to tiong bahru too lol den i told her that's what dad said too, she laughed. i ate fried kway teow, 2 bucks, cheap. dad ate bak ku teh plus fried kway teow too! dad bought mum's hot cheng teng.. head back to office at 5.50pm, helped mum wif tagging of clothes since she needs it urgently.. finally finished everything at 7.10pm, quickly left office. dad sent mum to bible study, we went hougang mall 4th floor kopitiam den 1st floor to buy bro & sis dinner. dad and i didnt eat cos we were full but i feel hungry now lol. i have not studied today ah! didnt do my bible study yet!!!! went home after that! hammies have grown fatter each day -.- still timid as usual but they're really really cute and chubby. orange one fatter & bigger than white one. sachi also become bigger size ever since we weighed her last time till this year, gained 1 kg.

now my life is just home lol. i just dont feel like contacting or catch up with any friends.. i complained i have no time to meet up with them when im working for my parents, i can only meet my friends on sunday, i dont like to just go for work as and when i like, to me is not right. For me, though they're my parents, still i must treat it i am working for other companies as personal and work are two different matters hence when i am at work, i am 100% into work, no distractions. so right now, im not working after the big argument with my mum last dec. Throughout the years, i have matured alot & it may me think alot. I know how tough my parents work, hence i am really satisfied with what i have, im trying hard to save, like my phone bills, i proudly say i didnt exceed continously for a year le.. last time i do exceed but is a few bucks. if i can walk to and back from hougang mall, i'll walk & save transport fees when i buy lunch for siblings or return from school. i didnt want to trouble my dad to buy lunch cos i know it's tiring for him driving up and down & by the time, he has no time left to do his work, that's what he said repeatedly in office for many occasions but he dont dare to voice out. i dont ask my dad to fetch me from school at all, i dont mind taking public transport back no matter how heavy my schoolnotes are. he's my dad, not my chaffeur with just a call and he's here, i feel that's not right. my dad always insisted on fetching me back to sch, i strongly object & wanna go back myself. they didnt know why till i flared up one day when i waited one hour for him to come. they said they do not want me to be xinku, carry many notes but to me, i told them i do not want them to be xinku instead. however, lessons early in the morning, i need my dad to fetch me to school which is twice per week cos i cant wake up & i need to wake up at 6.30am when my bro already uses this com in my room till 10pm to 12 midnite. i do not switch on the water heater to save electricity bills unless it is early in the morning or my dad will switch on for me because he kept thinking i forget to switch on. usually when i sleep den i'll just switch on the air-con for half hour, in the end i often wake up in the middle of nite sweating zz hence sometimes i switch on for awhile to cool the room down. there are plenty more to say. there's always a purpose behind stuffs i do but i dont say out. family are always there for u, friends do help but they cant be with you all the time. i do not want to add more burden to my parents, hence im trying to help by these mini actions cos they also wont stop working till they're 60 over, so by helping them would be better after all they're my parents, plus seeing how my friends around me are helping their parents to lift the burden too, i really respect them. i am not trying to show how great i am, but i am being truthful here. though there're many attractive stuffs in life like my favourite clothes etc, but i never tell my parents how much i like it, i dont request stuffs from them, but somehow my mum can read my mind -.- also, thank God for the many stuffs which my mum showered on us - facials, clothes, facial products etc.. i know im fortunate but sometimes still i'll quarrel with her over my results which made me boiled up. to me results is not associated with freedom. i feel as a parent, character of a child is very impt. i know every family has different rules, my parents aint strict except wif r/s stuffs where i know some girlfrens my age do have 12 midnite curfew. but for me whether or not there's curfew cos it doesnt matter cos i'll definitely return before 12. in my opinion, i think is dangerous to be out there at nite & it's inappropriate for a girl to be out there late and i do not want my parents to be worrying and staying up late at nite. they're getting on age, it's not good to let them stay up & i wanna let them to have good life. so actions are better than words. i do not like to act filial infront of my frens, i want to be real and truthful. im rather low-key also hence no one knows what's happening to me lol, i also dont blog but after seeing many issues, i decided to just type here about how i feel. everyone has different opinions of course, this is just part of how i feel in my heart.

HAPPY NEW YEAR 2010!

yet another year passed. how fast it is. still remember when we were at singapore flyer area eating at sportsgrill bar restaurant and then counting down. however this year, there's only a few of us. our cousins, xinyi and wenyi came to our hse abt 12 noon.. just slacked around den abt 1pm, wenyi & i went swimming. finally i went swimming -.- the weather was fine, no sun and the water was so cold! to our surprise, there was only one guy swimming -.- so we had the entire slightly wider than a 50m pool to ourselves. we just swam den went jaccuzi to play with the massage thingy. walked to the children's side to play with see-saw to play the water shooting thingy. just walked round the small waddling pool den back to deep pool. bro, xinyi, wenyi & i left at 2pm cos we wanna rushed for that McValue Lunch. however, after we bathed it was 2.45pm. we quickly rushed down to take bus to hougang interchange.. but halfway thru i decided to eat chicken bite set meal at the interchange since we werent in time for McValue Lunch so all of them decided to eat that. but there were no seats cos there were only 4 small tables. so we just bought and went to the chairs of interchange to sit & eat. we cleaned the chairs & it was flithy black. it was difficult to eat z. soon the table was available & i quickly rushed to there. wenyi joined me while xinyi and my bro continued eating there. after which we went hougang mall to walk. coax was having atrium sale so i looked around & decided to buy 2 blouses, so cheap -.- den cousins & bro went cotton on to see while i paid up. continued looking at the main coax shop, the tube dresses were nice! 12 bucks only =.= but i cant buy le zz. why everywhere is having so much sales -.- competition is so great. we walked back home after that.. played com awhile den abt 6 plus, dad said he wanna fetch us to hougang station. cousins & bro wanna watch movie - alvin and the chipmunk 2. so my cousin checked thru & saw that there's still back seats available for the 7.55pm timing at cathay cineleisure. so we quickly took train there & reached at 7.20pm.. i called joyce cos i've no idea to walk left or right LOL. finally reached cathay, went took escalator down to buy tix. left front row seats, my bro still wanna watch hence we booked. luckily there's discount for uob, not bad. we quickly took lift up to 6th floor but went down 4th floor to buy popcorns & drinks. rushed to 6th floor again to enter the theatre. the movie was GREAT! so funny! (to be continued tmr)

i've no idea why i dont like to blog now. hmm. i dont really like to say out my stuffs.. hmm.. im inactive in everything like facebook, didnt login for a week i think. my lecturer kept joking abt fb which make us laugh like mad. he was listing an example as regards to the topic he's teaching & he was saying "one day, you are going on a date with your gf. you cant be suddenly thinking of my restaurant city, aiyo dunnno what food will i get leis, den wan to chiong home to see what food will u get, whether your employees got energy not, den u go home see, aiya same egg again, i dont wan egg again" LOL when he said that, the whole class laughed like mad!!!

simply super inactive in blog. kinda lazy to blog now. anyway today was mum's bday.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MUM! went eat at jumbo restaurant at nite.. yummy food. shall talk abt it tmr.

i realised i didnt go to my blog for super super long. met up with joyce, samihah and peng siang after the last meet-up in april with 7 of us though joyce, keng ngee and ps met just recently.. went to eat dinner.. den ps suggested sitting hippo tour since it was raining today.. anyway the ride is free cos ps and his dad work at that company.. so today was the 3rd time sitting open air hippo tour for free haha.. that time went zoo with joyce and ps for free den nite time went sit spore flyer with 2 of them plus keng ngee for free too!!! love it. plus today the hippo tour we sat was different cos it's for the orchard lightings only and it's strictly for tourists only so even singaporeans cant get to sit the bus. It's free for tourists anyway. took so many pics, really really nice. the lightings were just above my head haha. really close. shall continue tmr.