.:thE gaL's r00m:.

this is so suffering. all my sorrows are hidden inside, all i can do is cry secretly in toilet, cry when my parents are not in, the rest of the time like now when my parents are in, i controlled myself so hard. this is the worse i ever experienced in my life. sometimes i really want to question God why!!! God plans for everything, he has a purpose or sometimes a lesson to be learnt by us. my mood totally goes down 24 hours everyday, no laughter nth. yest dinner i forced myself to eat the food. i ate so little, got 2 leftover doufu parents tell me eat, the whole plate of doufu and prawns i never eat at all hence i need to eat, i juz stuff the whole doufu inside my mouth. this morning wake up so empty, i cried. now bloggin also wan to cry, controlling myself. mum knows something is wrong, hence i played ms she never nag at all tell me go settle and do my things first. i wan to help my parents do hsework now even ironing i dont even have the mood. i cried and ironed yest, seriously cannot take it, i stopped ironing. i cant tell my parents what's going on, either can i tell my siblings. no one knows what happened. no idea why first time in my life i refused to let go and never think of other choices, i only want one and only of that choice. i see dad moping floor sweating like mad, i feel so terrible after that afternoon my parents still need to go to office to work. i feel so useless in everything, i feel so xinku, why is my life like that? to everyone, when u found the right person in your life, remember to cherish that person, every single moment treasure it, dont wait till the last minute when it's too late for u to regret like the useless me.


2nd day