.:thE gaL's r00m:.

what can i do? nothing just wait. tell everyone im alright yet im not. i force myself to eat, force myself to sleep yet cannot force myself to do it. everytime want to sleep at 2am, lie on bed cant sleep, tossing and turning, crying to myself, eventually slept at 4 then always wake up at 8am cant sleep back cos wake up think of him, tears dripped down but what can i do? my mood down all the way. even last nite's training never even train properly gain 30% only, every nite i can up one level if not 90 over % juz last nite, mood totally down. pple ask me if im fine, i put on a brave front and said im, deep in my heart, im not. no laughter, no joy in my life alr. no matter how funny is it i also cant laugh. i can do is cry and wait. i learnt my lesson. no smile on me at all. i see how worried my parents are. they're usually worried abt my bro not eating but now they're worried abt me not eating only. i prayed to God, leaving all my troubles to him yet im still so emotional. Lord, help me pls, i really cannot take it. i really miss him alot. i type this now and im crying so painfully, so xinku. im glad that im able to msg him and talk to him in ms, i cant expect for more, i miss talking to him on phone too. i really cant do without him, cant live without him. now my life becomes so useless, whole day i didnt do anything at all just go in ms so that im able to see him talk. i really cant take it if touch wood he goes to heaven, i'll be crying like mad, cant get a proper life. it's not easy to forget someone when both of u are deep in it with true love.


4th day.