today woke up late, parents went church themselves.. went to tampines giant and ikea, i drove there den dad took over to park lols cos my parking aint good & my parents are rushing for time. went straight to ikea cafe to eat, ate my favourite pasta (penne) wif tomato sauce, the all-time-favourite chicken wings, bought one cup for coffee or tea & it's refillable. after eating, drank my first cup of coffee den a family was waiting, so my mum cleared up everything and wiped the table lols so dont need to bother the cleaners to clear up.. my mum told the family to take 2 seats first den the parents went buy food leaving the son there. so i went for my second round of coffee, long queue. went back, the parents was walking behind me with food alr.. so i told my mum let's just leave, i'll just stand and drink the coffee den the parents asked me to sit so we were said it's alright den they thanked us haha. so walked to the entrance/exit of ikea but i cant leave the cafe cos it's their cup lols den saw sis haha. she came over after her work at sia i think. dad and sis helped me put creamer & sugar & i stood at the entrance/exit to drink. it was wierd cos im the only one standing at the entrance drinking but nvm las, many pple are waiting for seats. so i drank like half cup cant drink anymore so went to put it at the clearing area.. off we went to buy 3 boxes for the boutique den left ikea & i drove to giant. guess wad, i needed to make a U-turn, in the end my U-turn failed. i panicked & tried reversing, apparently the car didnt move. i was stuck at the traffic light post den there were pedestrians dere all watching me. worse still, cars all behind watching as well, giving way to me, i was so embarrassed. all heads in the cars were looking at me & they were laughing =.= just one right-turn traffic light, i was the only car that crossed over cos i jammed the rest behind =.= managed to turn, dad was lecturing me T_T i kept laughing non-stop haha. went giant was so bored cos it was just finding jeans for bro & dad for our korea trip. decided to go there buy as it's cheap+they can only wear once cos need to buy super big de so can wear the long john inside..

after giant, dad dropped mum, bro & i at far east. went to far east saw the miumiu dress so nice, mum wanted to buy den many pple were looking at the dress when they walked past when my mum fitted it onto me.. it's 99 bucks. mum wanted to buy but i told her not to becos it's so expensive. went osmose nth much den went wisma & went osmose also lols den bought clothes frm dere zz den dad came to meet us. went body shop bought facial cleanser, make up remover etc. den went taka best denki, mum bought canon digi camera again. my hse all full of canon digi cameras. saw my vacuum side ex colleagues didnt go over cos dont dare haha. but some at tv, customer service, digi cams recognised me & smiled at me haha even the jap supervisor remembered me o.o after that bought my favourite cheese sausage prata at b2, went find mum at coach.. den went paragon cos mum needed to collect her bags at long champ.. after that went off to old airport road to eat. den went white hse road fetched sis from australian high commissioner. home sweet home.

sad im still sick, my cough was better at first when i finished the whole medication though i was still coughing.. 1 week later, my cough became worse and now it's terrible. 2 days ago, i cough so badly that i vomitted all the curry that i had for dinner. so painful, suddenly felt so lonely at that time..

today went grandma hse despite me being so sick. no choice played carrom board.. me and my bro practically just sat there cos we kept winning haha but i was missing so many shots cos i was too weak and drowsy.. there were 3 pairs of us.. 2 pairs play carrom, the other 2 pairs play daiti but one pair dun wanna play carrom.. i drank the cough mixture before that, hence feeling so drowsy. then it was bday celebration for my uncle den same time celebrate those bdays in december.. it's real heart warming cos most of us will celebrate our bdays at grandma's hse.. every year we'll definitely eat lots of bday cakes haha. went home drank cough mixture now im feeling so weak and drowsy again sigh.

wish him all the best in his studies and game :)

perhaps that was the only chance in our lifetime. end of dec, i'll change this whole blog.. maybe in this lifetime that will be the only memories left behind..

where is the 'me' which people once know. where's the strong spirit which i once have? why did i fall deeper and deeper into it?

took medicine, feeling so drowsy. parents go msia again, 3 times le since monday. hais no choice still need cook lunch for bro and myself..

monday
went school. drank so much water. throat still no change.

edited
tuesday
just came back from school. this morning dad fetched me to a bus stop to take my 151 bus. felt super cold though i was wearing so many layers. reached sch felt so hot, think got slight fever. msged my dad cos my parents are in msia today so they told me to see a doctor after sch. i still rmb last week my mum kept asking me to see a doctor cos of my sore throat but i refused thinking it's a sore throat only plus consultation fees are ex, seeing a doctor can cost more than 30 bucks. right now ive slight fever and i got to see the doctor myself.. wish i can recover quickly (:

last nite when i was going to sleep, i coughed badly can hear phelgm at my throat, i nearly choked cos cant breathe. my nose is blocked too. my voice became worse, for a moment i can talk, a moment i lost my voice. i thought a fever would be coming my way. when i woke up this morning it was terrible. i feel sick and the weather was so cold, it gonna rain i guess. den all of a sudden, i felt so cold and lonely. i was thinking everyone has their own troubles and problems, i dont want to trouble anyone. study study study, hope i can do that and wish i got supersonic memory to memorise so many stuffs! right now is concentrate concentrate concentrate, cant wander my mind off somewhere else. hais my birthday is another headache.

went great world yesterday, dad fetched me there. all of a sudden i forgot where's great world and when i reached there i rmbed haha i went there with my cca pple for micromouse competition twice!!! how can i forget those happy memories there! we won the cutest mouse competition haha and all of us tot we wouldnt win cos our robot was dressed like a normal mouse whereas others look so professional eg a big JustTea drink packaging, many many different designs.. everyone was shocked why the judge chose our mouse cos it fulfills the theme cutest mouse ma haha. i still rmb i was standing at the stage area den all of us got no hopes at all. my cca pple were all sitting upstairs watching.. den when she announced our school i was like !!! den i was so nervous went up on stage shaked hands and recd the trophy, super alot of students, need to look at cameras too z. i still rmb it was chuiying and others who wrapped the robot up like a mouse.. all of us were so happy! after which when i graduated, heard frm emily they won the cutest mouse again lols! kk back to yesterday.. went mac cafe to drink since it was early for the movie.. watched madagascar escape 2 africa till 6, before watching it i tot it would be quite boring cos when i watched the 1st madagscar movie, it wasnt that nice. i was wrong! madagascar escape 2 africa was so nice!! it was touching too cos alex(lion) reunited with his parents.. melman(giraffe) confessed his love to gloria(hippo) and it was so sweet, it wasnt those sweet talkings like that moto moto(hippo) who tried to go after gloria cos he likes her but it wasnt love cos he dont even know what gloria wants and wad he likes about her. melman knew everything of gloria, he knows what she's thinking, everything, he cant do without her, as long as he has her, he's always happy. it was really sweet and romantic. after movie ate at Go Thai till 8.. walked ard went burger king to chit chat till 9 something.. i was dropped at redhill station den i took train home. reached home at 10 something ba.. i feel so bad, her fren dont wanna take the money ZZZ.

thnks alot baby (:

oh gosh 2 days ago i had sore throat, i thought i was fine after i gargled salt water. today i nearly lost my voice & it sounds so sore like a guy voice already o.0 those who called me today all asked me who am i, they tot it was a guy z i feel so... went boutique to help out with my aunty. business was quiet, now the market is not good as well that's why. lee kuan yew told us not to spend cos we never know there may be a crisis that will be approaching. helped bro awhile with his school flagday as well for his school foundation, my parents brought him to amara so i stood wif him outside tanjong pajar station. i was reminded of my sec sch flagday haha with my cca pple, fun!after which went over buy lunch cheap! 2 bucks only. did stock taking, counting and carrying up and down those clothes stocks. soon evening came, went food expo.. ate so many stuffs.. sharkfin, my favourite prata sausage haha those at taka knows, one spoon of laksa, tried many food, drinks.. home sweet home after that. cant wait for tmr! im fine no worries. i hope so.

flashing back to last dec, christmas, den it was new year, release of O results, still rmbed how worrying it was cos.. he made it.. how i went thru one by one to see which course can be entered and to make sure i'll choose the right course for him and see if it's beneficial cos it concerns his future.. i really treat it like im choosing my own school cos i was so anxious abt it. it was nth to boast about but i was just glad i get the privilege to be able to choose for.... den posting results came, was really overjoyed to see it was the first choice being given while others were not.. still rmbed he refusing to tell & tricking me abt the school and courses he was posted to ROAR haha. soon sch started, many books to buy, busier.. and it goes on.. all these are memories.. the past i guess? time to move on.

guess im too crazy le ba.. im obessessed with it that's why.


i better start my revision already!! feb is coming!! prelims time!!

i got to study hard! work hard for future.. next time be a housewife, stay home teach the kids their school work, prepare meals for whole family etc..

gone.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY KH! <3

will the good old days be back? how i wish it will.

i wish for a miracle.
just a simple wish..
to be with him for a lifetime.

the once bubbly & cheerful girl is gone,
her life aint the same anymore.
every nite without fail she dreams of him
but all were sad & heart-aching dreams.
she woke up crying every nite,
wishing the dreams wont come true.

school is like a chore to her,
she controls her tears all the time.
heads straight home after school
so that she can let go and cry.
crying is the only solution,
so that she will feel better.

i really love you alot. i seriously do. Lord, why torture me like this.

10 mths passed, soon it will be 1 year. how fast time passes, many memories etched in my mind and heart, frm last christmas till now, soon it will be christmas again. wondering how's he doing, should be fine i guess.


best wishes to him.

after i hanged up the phone, i cried bitterly. torturing. i really miss him alot. but studies now. i realised i did change, i didnt think as much as last time alr.. im just going to enjoy my life wif my girlfrens.. just lead a loner life. now's so cold, hope he's fine..

Absence makes the heart grow fonder.

edited.

last sunday was out whole day and i drove that day to and fro fetching cousins, relatives from one place to another. one of my aunt and uncle made nasi lemak for dinner and they made otah. omgosh so many ingredients super tedious. they made 3 different types of otah. one is just plain fish otah, the other wif prawns and the other with sweet potato. they cooked it at the stove with the charcoal de. really interesting to see how my aunt and uncle made otah. den mum and sis massaging the chicken cos cooking emperor chicken. on that day, it was a super wide spread and all 6 families came down to eat tog, real crowded and it was a sumptuous meal, more than 15 plates of dishes on the table. got zhujiao, emperor chicken, 2 different types of big deep fried chicken wings, spareribs with mushroom, kangkong, cauliflower&broccoli mixed veg, chili ikan bilis, otahs, fried egg, fried fish and of course the choice of nasi lemak rice or plain rice. we had so much to eat haha.

past few days busy with school, tiring. now home coms super lousy cos sis lappy spoilt last week still repairing den she's using acer lappy. den ibm lappy just reformated super lag cos no space at all.. today attended marketing lecture, raining hence i was abit late but when i entered was shocked to see so little pple lols but soon many pple entered. most of us were late cos of rain that causes a big jam outside our school and ngee ann poly. after lecture we went megabites but full went over to canteen and accompany the girl (forgot her name) to buy her drink den she went off for lecture. so both of us just walked around sim looking at bazaar at the atrium and this fren saw 3 girlfrens and intro them zz. so we walked tog and went bus stop den all sat 151 cos i need to take that bus home while they alighted few stops to go town. met bro at hougang mall for lunch... back home.. den sis' fren came.. helped them with jigsaw puzzle for fren's bday present. 1000 pieces!! took hours till parents came back at 8 something.

all are lies? of all people, why must do those actions to me? so many years of friendship alr sigh. i dislike it when pple lie and hide from me.

something is wrong with all my blog posts. this post being cut, another post published wrongly sian.. all dates and times published are also wrong. even msn also had troubleshooting error pop up, cant sign in at all. think this old lappy got virus already, no anti virus software at all.

went sakura tampines safra ate dinner with family yest to treat my sis's fren at the same time cos he repaired the ibm lappy. coincidentally, saw my aunt, uncle and cousins haha and we were so shocked and we waved happily. then cousins came over talk with us then we go get food tog.. so crowded yest. ate till so full.. i love the strawberry frozen thingy. after which me and dad just went in jackpot room to take a look and watch pple play, wow the bets were so high. drop sis's fren at paya lebar station den home sweet home.

6 modules to conquer. wow i paid so much attention to MSM (management science methods) today. the chapter today was quite manageable and it was fun haha as well cos it has something to do with those maths pattern stuffs. oh gosh quite a number of assignments are due for submission at the last week of oct. yesterday queen, same marketing lecture as me kept asking me to join netball but i dont wanna join any cca just concentrate on studies besides the training will be held at another place with other sports ccas! cant imagine under the hot scorching sun..

channel 8 repeated drama serial ending at 11pm was so nice. happy families. the last part was nice when all of them were at the park.. alrights 12 le nites.

i was watching channel 8 and channel U drama serials, they were all stories of families.. channel U 10pm show was ridiculous but the adorable small girl yongyi is so cute and sweet. the way she talks is really so cute aww.. since young i love babies and kids alot.. my small cousins are sooo cute :]]

i still rmb watching this nanny daddy.. the baby nicole in there is so cute :]] reminds me of my cousin johnathon.. so cutee when he laughs showing 2 small teeth haha. thruout my life, i seen many of my cousins since baby and still remembering taking care of them, running after them just to feed them, watching over them and playing with them at playground.. still rmb my 5 year old cousin stayed over my hse and i took care of her during the 5 days - bathe, schoolwork, meals, make milk in milk bottle etc. their laughter and smiles brighten your day up.. it will be nice to start a simple family with children.. so sweet and so xin fu..

gone are the good old days. will the good days come back?

i had corporate finance lecture yesterday. though the teacher was boring but i must say she has vast knowledge of this module, she was explaining everything in detail step by step for tutorial so that we can understand. i heard from joyce that her FI lecturer cannot make it, the lecturer couldnt even explain to them when questions were being asked. prior to that, she made them answer true or false questions yet no explanation was given why it was true/false. anyway back to yest, went home after corporate finance, went to meet bro and ate lunch at hougang mall. bro wanted to eat mac so ate there. after lunch headed home.. went bible study at night, it's ending on the 1st week of november. at last the book of matthew has came to an end.. mum fetched me, bought dinner back to eat. while eating, watched that channel U police show.. etc.. my clique which is my girlfrens all concentrating on studies, putting r/s aside cos they wont wan to affect their studies. all of us will work hard together and get good results.

since my piano exam's over, ive been practising this blog song, a very meaningful & impt song in my heart. thank God, i can go grade 8 le. i stopped my piano for so long since beginning 2003 due to Os and As..



waiting..

study hard too.
all the best :]

today was supposed to meet at 3pm but i simply got no mood at all, i wanted to tell my fren i dont wan to meet but cant. reached there only at 4pm.. in the end bought a card at borders only, decided to treat her.. so walked from borders to the cathay at dhoby ghaut there. ate at aston specialities, no idea wad to call so called beef bologa, cream of mushroom included and thought it would be fine but it's not at all. drank cafe mocca. so many pple lining up and it's open air so those pple queuing can see u eating rite infront so wierd. after that went ps they bought those deserts fruits, some ice thingy frm taiwan. didnt order at all juz watch them eat, juz wan to get home asap. den they wan go carrefour so went in the end nth le so said go home.. all of them know i no mood at all cos didnt even talk just stare into air..

learnt my lesson
im waiting, definitely.
nth can change my mind,
dont ask me why,
simply becos i love him too much.

had not been blogging lately. cousin's wedding successful. great experience at reception though most of the time my aunt and uncle are the ones attending to them haha. sch started alr so bored. i wish time will pass quickly. oct is nearing den nov :]]] one important day at beginning nov. soon it will be christmas den new year again real fast. hope everything's going fine for me and him.

kh
missya
loveya

cousin's wedding at swissotel the stamford 31st aug. tmr!! cant wait, need to wake up early tmr and out whole day till nite. tiring day but fun can help in wedding reception wif sis and cousin's sis. still rmb helping emily since she planned her bro's whole wedding but i didnt help much lols. cant wait haha :] very excited.

at that moment when i made that decision last wed, i know i shldnt have any regrets. right now i want to work doubly hard to do well for this degree and hopefully get on with a master degree. time will pass fast. sch's starting in mid sept only, after which oct, nov, dec, jan, feb lessons are ending and it's prelims in march so fast, revision classes followed by that then real exams in may. i must buck up study hard though i know i will not do well for first year, luckily they are only foundation units. cant wait for this sunday reception area!!! so excited, need to go early in the morning i guess if my parents wan to go for tea ceremony and if they cant find a guy to open the wedding door.

today was quite okies :]] shall update later.

i know the truth already. so shocking and i know what decision to make already.

what can i do? nothing just wait. tell everyone im alright yet im not. i force myself to eat, force myself to sleep yet cannot force myself to do it. everytime want to sleep at 2am, lie on bed cant sleep, tossing and turning, crying to myself, eventually slept at 4 then always wake up at 8am cant sleep back cos wake up think of him, tears dripped down but what can i do? my mood down all the way. even last nite's training never even train properly gain 30% only, every nite i can up one level if not 90 over % juz last nite, mood totally down. pple ask me if im fine, i put on a brave front and said im, deep in my heart, im not. no laughter, no joy in my life alr. no matter how funny is it i also cant laugh. i can do is cry and wait. i learnt my lesson. no smile on me at all. i see how worried my parents are. they're usually worried abt my bro not eating but now they're worried abt me not eating only. i prayed to God, leaving all my troubles to him yet im still so emotional. Lord, help me pls, i really cannot take it. i really miss him alot. i type this now and im crying so painfully, so xinku. im glad that im able to msg him and talk to him in ms, i cant expect for more, i miss talking to him on phone too. i really cant do without him, cant live without him. now my life becomes so useless, whole day i didnt do anything at all just go in ms so that im able to see him talk. i really cant take it if touch wood he goes to heaven, i'll be crying like mad, cant get a proper life. it's not easy to forget someone when both of u are deep in it with true love.


4th day.

whenever i listened to my blog song, my tears start to drip down. i feel so terrible. the song which i promised to play to him, i dont have the chance to play now. i really wish for miracle to happen.

this is so suffering. all my sorrows are hidden inside, all i can do is cry secretly in toilet, cry when my parents are not in, the rest of the time like now when my parents are in, i controlled myself so hard. this is the worse i ever experienced in my life. sometimes i really want to question God why!!! God plans for everything, he has a purpose or sometimes a lesson to be learnt by us. my mood totally goes down 24 hours everyday, no laughter nth. yest dinner i forced myself to eat the food. i ate so little, got 2 leftover doufu parents tell me eat, the whole plate of doufu and prawns i never eat at all hence i need to eat, i juz stuff the whole doufu inside my mouth. this morning wake up so empty, i cried. now bloggin also wan to cry, controlling myself. mum knows something is wrong, hence i played ms she never nag at all tell me go settle and do my things first. i wan to help my parents do hsework now even ironing i dont even have the mood. i cried and ironed yest, seriously cannot take it, i stopped ironing. i cant tell my parents what's going on, either can i tell my siblings. no one knows what happened. no idea why first time in my life i refused to let go and never think of other choices, i only want one and only of that choice. i see dad moping floor sweating like mad, i feel so terrible after that afternoon my parents still need to go to office to work. i feel so useless in everything, i feel so xinku, why is my life like that? to everyone, when u found the right person in your life, remember to cherish that person, every single moment treasure it, dont wait till the last minute when it's too late for u to regret like the useless me.


2nd day

life's getting worse for me. no appetite, no mood. it's worse ever. mum even asked me today why i looked so tired. sorry for everything, i regretted. ive no idea what u doing but i know u want to play hard and study hard. just to let you know, i'll be waiting. no idea if now u'll still be reading my blog. i wish u will.

1day

hope life is getting better each day. pretty slack at home, sch's starting soon, hectic life again but probably good keep my mind occupied. yeah play hard study hard, pray that i dont give any nonsense but hope u know what ur doing. 2 more weeks or so to wedding. went facial today few mths didnt go there le, the beauticians said my looks changed lols. true, my looks indeed changed haha. hope i'll get what i want, just a simple wish to be fulfilled :]]

Thank God i passed my driving for 1st attempt on 1st august. have been driving parents' car recently, cars honking here and there, rather dangerous. yeah practice makes perfect, i've to get used to auto cars since most of the cars are auto now. hope i'll be able to drive safely in no time :]

beijing olympics is wonderful. the opening ceremony was grand and all the dancers are really good. went beijing last dec, the big scenary pic on this blog is from beijing with my family and tour grp members in the background. we saw the bird nest stadium and the rectangular shape block which has lots of bubbles shape which i guess the swimming competitions are held in there. im glad i went beijing last dec, it was the olympics mood alr. everywhere u can see the 5 dolls -beibei,jingjing,huanhuan,yingying,nini, beggars selling imitations, the olympics store which sells the original and the softtoys of those dolls were huge. didnt buy back any cos it was costly but my tour grp pple bought. watching the olympics on tv, i saw many different events - weightlifting, basketball, swimming, badminton, gynastics. china gynastics are real good, they obtained gold medal. michael phleps is so fast when he swims, he got so many gold medals alr. it was sad that tao li got 5th in her 100m butterfly but anw it was a good job since it's a world event. basketball was really exciting. saw china playing against usa, even president george bush was there to watch. the basketballers were so quick and fast, their reactions were fast and they were alert. so many 3 points throw were made, it seems so easy to them. it was my first time also to see yao ming play on tv, the chinese are patriotic, they're so united when their national anthem was played unlike usa.

national day is tomorrow. i wish i'll be able to watch the parade live one day in the future when im married lols . so fast many mths passed and my school is going to start soon :( back to the boring school life but just hope everything goes fine. gonna buck up and mug all the way.

there were so many weddings that took place this year. i cant wait for 31st August, my cousin's wedding. probably seeing many of young adults since my cousin is 28 and his sister is 23. my cousin's sis, my sis and i are going to be under the reception area, just 3 of us. so excited :] it's going to be held at swissotel. the last wedding i attended was emily's bro wedding in march this year, was scary cos she planned the whole wedding wow. on july 26, there were 2 weddings but i was working hence i cant attend awww. i cant wait to have my own wedding lols.

the apple is still there. no space at all but i'll never eat the apple up.

busy with housework since there isnt any domestic helper. mostly ironing stuffs, washing dishes..

i know what to do already..

things are getting better :]

maid was sent back to agency for some reasons.

hais wishing that i would be cared for yet it's not the people i want it from.

i am missing you so much. thinking of you all day long. wondering what are u doing now. fate brought us together just remembering how we met each other despite the 20 channels all occupied at that time. i have just one simple wish, wishing you are back to me. right now i have decided to wait, no one can stop me. it's different from my past when it wasnt love at all hence waiting is useless. But for you i know u once loved me. how about now? i cried at store for more than 5 times there were more than 50 promoters there, all saw me crying only some know i am crying because i am thinking of you. it's the worst pain i ever experienced because u are the first who truly loves me and makes me feel like i am your only one. I thought that i will be alright since i am working, work will occupy my mind. WRONG, instead i didnt even promote anything at all because my whole mind is filled with you only. the supervisor saw me missing for many times and for very long. i was hiding at one corner of the store crying, i want to stop myself from crying, i stopped but immediately i cried again when i think of you. some people walked past and got a shock cos i was hiding at a corner. they thought they met a ghost or what cos my whole face was red and my eyes were totally red as well moreover it was at a corner which they cant see unless they turn back.
right now all i can do is to wait. I WILL BE AND I AM ALREADY WAITING.

Wishing that you are by my side,

Hoping that this will be real.

Arrows piercing through my heart

Whenever i feel green with jealousy.

Nothing of this has been felt before in my life,

You are the first one who is able to do that.

The feeling is totally different from my past,

It's not anger but pure jealousy.

Things are not as simple as it is,

It isnt a day's happening.

Crying will not make you come back,

But at least that's the only way for me to pour out.

If keeping everything in my heart,

I am not sure if i will turn crazy one day.

I really thank God for bringing you into my life,

At least you are the only one i have no regrets at all.

this which i sent to you before may.

Growing with you each day,
You are my everything.
Over all tides and waves,
Happy is still what we are.
Over all tests and hurdles,
No matter what happens,
Guohong, guohong
UR MINE!

sigh everyday i am crying i feel so hurt when the person i love most scolded me rudely. if it is a friend scolding you, u will already feel so terrible what more yr love one who scolded you.

the counter is there. yes from 800 over days decreasing to 600 over already. im determined! soon my second year will start and after which need to really study hard, do well for exams, year 2 has ended. by the time left 360 over days only.. so excited. then 3rd year over left 30 over days. now im thinking, counter is wrong alr.. shld be year 2011. more days added sigh. think after uni i'll do masters, just nice when he comes out. hais why is my character like that. in real life, im known to be a quiet and timid person. ask all my pri and sec sch frens, im well known in sch for one of the quietest and guai girl. thinking back, time really pass so fast..

reflecting back on the past mths, thinking the times when we were so happy talking on msn everyday. i was so glad abt my name in his phone. my msges thruout his inbox. when my exams came, he helped me alot. at least someone was there to motivate me, prevent me from touching the computer hence i never update my blog nor even go in msn at all. it's surprising that i didnt use the com much. yep it's for my own good for him to do that. my mum for that few mths didnt scold me at all regarding the computer. never ever. i should tone down myself when im online. my real life personality and online personality is so different. indeed when pple is online they will tend to talk whatever they want to since they're not facing the person. for example when im in ms, if someone provokes me, i'll scold the person like mad, shoot that person non stop. however in real life for example my workplace, the person provokes me, i didnt even dare to scold back. i just ignored. real life is real life, virtual is virtual. still rmb the past, during that 1 mth, i didnt even quarrel with the person at all. not even one small quabble. i dont even dare to talk much hence we're outside, the whole atmosphere so wierd. i only quarrelled with him after ending. quarrelled thru online not real life. real life i dont even dare say all these. in real life, i dont quarrel with pple at all. NONE! real life my behaviour is like.. hmm.. pple call me qian jin xiao jie. totally different.

today my mood was up and down. up cos he told me to stay to see him level. omgosh i was so happy =] immediately my mood went up by so much, i was no longer sad. later after that juz only sigh im really sorry. i was too agitated. i talk to pple on phone also different. real life i tend to hide from pple and run away. im shy. during work i stand at my counter never talk to the promoters. one came over and ask me why u dont wan come over and talk not bored meh. i said no not bored ma, juz stand there and dream. i was thinking of him, thinking of him is good enough why go over and talk to them. juz one more time, i cant provoke him. why am i so easily jealous, i must think of the past when i did just the same. yeah i know how he feels but only now then i know it. sighh too late le. i must get the taste of it then i know. ok just endure and close one eye. i must rmb we're frens though 3 years deal is on. still rmb that time get married, i still talking on the phone with him. so nice :] thinking of the scene makes me so happy, grinning from ear to ear. alright i go sleep le.

my mum scolded me like hell for playing ms every single day. problem is what can i do? i wanna win them not only that, that's the only chance of me talking to him. everyone in my family said im addicted. nope im not at all. if there're other ways of communicating with each other, why i bother going in there to play all the time. hais last nite i cant sleep kept thinking of what happened inside there. still rmb he asking pple to accompany him. what am i there for then? so what she's alr married? what if i asked ku to pei me isnt it wierd? not only that still ask if she's his best fren. i feel so rejected and so terrible. last nite cant sleep kept crying. now eyes swollen. is God trying to tell me to forget him? are those actions he did to tell me something? his nick alr changed so much. no more mr goh. still rmb the msges i sent to him, poems, sorry msges.. i read all of them last nite. as i read, i cried even harder. sometimes, i really feel like questioning God, i know there's a purpose and lesson learnt for what he's doing. right now life is so torturing, thinking of him all day long yet not able to get hold of him. what a failure and useless person am i.

blog a post at last. life is full of decisions. once decided, there should not be any regrets. why is my life always like that. so complicated. everytime i must always get into this situation. WHY??? my wish is very simple. i really wish for it to come true.

wish ur by my side.

EXAMS EXAMS!! ended at last but tedious revision lessons are coming soon after which is the final exams in MAY!! prelims aint like prelims more of just sitting there and staring at the papers lols.

1st March
the night be4 was busy calling each other to see who's booking the movie tixs for JUNO online.. in the end michelle booked the cathay one at 3.15pm. she's fast lol cos actually they asked me to book online.. decided to watch juno cos we arranged to go hippo tour and dhl balloon rite.. but ps called the weather station LOL then they said the next day raining so we knew probably dhl balloon cannot le cos they dun operate on bad weathers. anw all the rides are free for us cos ps's dad's in that company so free yippie.. the hippo tour was 12.05pm or 2pm so we chose 2pm since it will rain.. oh ya wanted to watch musical fountain at nite as well then free actually but ps later said need to pay 6 bucks..

finally met them at 1pm but everyone was late... i was latest reached ard 1.20pm.. walked all the way to suntec city.. saw the s8 guy at citylink.. saw a gay couple lol too. reached suntec me and joyce decided to buy that dou sau that bun thingy frm food republic.. you tiao still frying so never buy. ps and michelle went starbucks buy drinks. waited for them then they came.. ps said late alr need to go board the hippo tour alr. then we rushed all the way there.. rushed to the road full of duck and hippo tours.. then juz followed ps board the hippo tour.. lols everyone waiting for us.. we went all the way up the deck.. all ah mohs haha we sat last row cos drizzling.. then ps went front to sit. the tour was round little india, kampong glam and chinatown.. me and joyce like tourists kept taking photos LOL. then suddenly ps dad came up told him that we alight at chinatown there cos it's near 3 le then movie at 3.15.. so we alighted at chinatown took to dhoby gaut walked to the cathay and watched juno there. juno not bad ba.. but really that nice.. muz understand their english cos sometimes they speak too fast cant catch wad they talking and that parts are funny zz. after movie went ps.. dunno where to eat in the end decided to eat at pastamania.. order that pasta chicken bal something.. nice.. after that went sportslink to see.. so many pple cos got sales... after that took train wif joyce.. i went cityhall then walked to suntec to meet parents and bro.. carrefour.. back home..

we decided to meet one day juz to sit all the rides cos ps said duck tour also free. so one day we'll sit all the rides on one day.. hippo tour, duck tour and dhl balloon YIPPIE!!!

another day then put up pics for the hippotour bus and chingay floats and performance..

15 Feb
super busy day cos need to find many pple to go chingay.. got many extra tix.. that day i also had my 3rd driving lesson frm 2 to 3.30.. i learnt frm a private instructor.. he told me to take the test at end april YEA! then after lesson see so many missed calls.. arrange this arrange that..
went chingay preview at evening time.. thnks juson for free tixs.. his bro is the chairman of the chingay procession so cool la.. then incharged of ticketing too tt's why last year i went chingay too and sat at the stage position there too!!! beginning i tot cant get tix frm him cos he recd no reply frm his bro. on thurs nite he msged to tell me he got 14 tix for me!! his bro turned down many pple cos i told him my relatives all wanna go.. then my relatives some cant make it. then got extra tixs.. so called darren and derick along then waiting for them at cityhall at 7pm then dots said they not coming.. i never recd darren's msg ZZ. saw my mum side uncle's family LOL. they bought the chingay tix online and were given city hall (side B).. we got the cityhall(centre) seats.. i went the website and see it was 50 bucks for one tix la!! we sat directly infront of the stage!! super nice.. i had a hard time cos my relatives came frm 2 different sides and they arrived late.. i walked in and out of the entrance to the seats and the helpers there knew me le LOL. i walked more than 5 times in and out so it's like they never even check if i got the chop or the tixs.. HAHA. found laura's family at last and they were at supreme court ZZ plus there there isnt any entrance.. my uncle passed his phone to those student helpers and they're asking me where are u blah blah.. then found them.. then they help me pass the tix to my uncle and aunt.. i walked across the front of all the seats across padang so many times till some were thinking why i walk up and down.. my handphone super busy.. 3,4 pple calling me at same time.. i super tensed up then the helper there telling me cool down.. relax LOL when i was talking on the phone wif her.. then found shu yun and her mum then i told them paul and karyl were there then my aunt juz HII loudly and kept WAVING.. i so paiseh cos everyone sitting down only us standing.. that time was alr 8.20pm.. then i walked that time next to barrier then michelle chia and gurmit singh there =) managed to go back to my seats at 8.30pm.. then PM LEE came omgosh la then he walked to a small road there everyone thinking for wad.. then the MC said he went to see the REDBULL.. i was thinking wad's redbull then didnt know till later on the F1 formula car REDBULL CAME OUT COOL!!! then got one part all the different sportscar came out omgosh SO NICE!!! the colours so nice!! different designs also haf.. then PM LEE pressed the button to start the chingay procession.. then fireworks and FIRECRACKERS!!! SO LOUD AND the whole sky was CLOUDY!! then i found red stuffs on me.. those firecrackers de.. super NICE!! the floats as usual colourful, not bad.. the whole place chaotic as usual.. but this year held at padang better!! i told juson following years hold at padang better.. he said will give the feedback to his bro LOL.. then after which my bro and parents came during the firecrackers cos they went meet the parents session and bro's school.. then bro, aunt, uncle and laura came over to my side to see cos got 9 empty seats.. facing directly infront of the stage seeing all the performance super clear!! then those performers will throw those souvenirs stuffs like handbands and a paper saucer.. then my mum said she tried to catch too lol.. my cousins over that side also.. i heard my uncle (mum's bro) catch the saucer too.. my another uncle (dad's bro) catch the saucer infront of our eyes super fast. all of us shocked LOL!! then the back pple were like aiya cant get it lol. then got one float they pass down a blue cloth over then everyone passing up... then the last float also passing string down.. then last float xinyi wanted to go toilet.. so went wif bro and me.. then i was like make a quick one cos fireworks coming.. then we're the only 3 pple walking at the barrier there.. then saw michelle chia juz next to barrier only.. then went toilet at the back of the seats.. then walked back quickly leaving them behind walking slowly ZZ then i juz enter the seats area fireworks start!! then i faster walk back quite far cos need to walk to centre of all the seats.. then sat there and see all the fireworks.. NICE!!!! everything ended at 11pm.. went 2 different hses to send relatives home. my dad's car got 6 of us sitting behind squeezy lols.. then reached home quite late alr.. OVERALL FUN!!! took many pictures next time then put it up here no time exams now.. next year im gg again LOL..

16 Feb
My parents invited all my dad's side relatives over for a steamboat dinner cos my hse got cny celebration at function room then got lion dance all these. some cant make it cos got their husband's there reunion to attend.. soon everyone came le.. got 2 steamboats.. ate and watch chingay same time.. then my family and laura's family were like saying wad's gg to happen haha. then suddenly ate steamboat.. both steamboat no electricity.. then some lights were off.. tv also automatically off. got trip.. so tot the 1st plug of suspension coil spoil so change to second and third de.. then tripped again.. so tot whole suspension coil spoiled so took another one.. then plug in one steamboat first then ok.. then the other steamboat use another suspension coil then tripped again we know it's the steamboat problem then.. then my cousin said before tt that he smelt something burning frm the steamboat.. soldering smell like tt.. in the end used one steamboat but anw most of us alr finished eating phew.. actually 2 steamboats cant put together in one suspension coil cos 2 of it burning 200 over degrees each.. after which watched chingay then some went home left one family.. played wif grace.. then she rolled those balls and threw them so cuteeee!! i took video of her.. my bro took as well and my laughters can be heard haha..

18 Feb
Dad's bday!! made a card for him wif colourful paper and transparency.. nite time went eastpoint mall Han's River to eat the steamboat cum bbq.. we ate there for more than 10 times le haha. ate till so full.. went home cut cake.. coffee cake frm bengawan solo cos that time 3 weeks ago my bday bought chocolate cake..

23 Feb
START of EXAMS!! econs paper today.. luckily jiaying called joyce to tell us it's lecture 3.01.. it was 10am le.. when i entered there were abt 50 odd pple only.. i tot so little pple.. then realised the whole hall 4.03 is full hence told us to go down.. cos there were more than 1000 pple taking econs.. the 4 of us sat across the row.. paper started at 10.06am end at 1.06pm.. huishan left at 12.35.. then joyce left 10 mins later, then jiaying left a min later followed by me following behind jiaying lols.. then joyce waiting for us outside.. both of them waited wif me till my dad came at 1.20pm.. went home helped mum wif preparation cos her frens coming over for gathering or rather vistation.. they have not seen the hse be4 even though we're staying here to near 4 years le.. anw most of my frens also have not been here be4 haha.. went down wif bro find mum's frens.. soon all arrive.. ate.. whole hse tour.. showing them pictures of beijing and also video that was taken by the camerawoman in beijing.. everyone laughing at me lolss cos of great wall thingy..

valentine's tmr sadded la.. nvm we still haf other years :) shaguaaa..

this post will be a super long one given the fact i didnt blog for weeks le haha. didnt really use com le.. last time addicted to com.. now not le!! new year has passed and i had an enjoyable time.. shall blog wad happened over the past 2 weeks..

now abt CNY.

NEW YEAR'S EVE - went down grandma's hse for reunion lunch. all came over.. children one table.. adults one table.. we children lao yusheng at one table.. adults one table LOL FUN!!

after tt stayed till 4 plus then all went off. wenyi came to our hse then dinnertime we went back wif her family to eat.

DAY 1 - busy day. got woke up by intercom cos xinyi, wenyi's family came. ring the intercom so many times cos we still sleeping lol at 9 something am.. then faster bathe then laura's family came as well.. left to go dad side ah ma's hse to pai nian then go off to mum side ah ma's hse eat chang shou mian. i ate 4 big full bowls. i juz ate the mian without drinking the soup. i didnt take spoon at all lol. stomach so big lor. after tt my uncle was talking abt him writing to forum abt the ttsh fee waiver for disabled pple then ttsh called him to apologise. then news reporter saw his report then called my uncle to interview him and the reporter went his hse interview everyone and take photos. my mum was also called up to be interviewed by the reporter.. it will appear in sunday times i think this sunday de ba under LIFE section.. cos in 1995 my uncle and mum appeared on tv under the extraordinary pple show cos my uncle brought up a girl since she was a baby till now 44 years old. her mum abandoned her cos she's retarded.. so bad.. anw brought sachi there to ah ma hse. then sachi and rich lol like fighting?? stayed till 4 plus then went home. soon left to go dad side there.. my family didnt eat dinner cos too full then went over to aunt's hse then sweating like hell cos take care of 3 year old cousin. cos she wans to go find my bro then my bro playing table tennis at 3rd floor then she go there the balls flying everywhere zz. we took the photo at stairs again. then soon left cos aunt's husband side got relatives came over visit.. then some went over my hse pai nian then play carrom board then so funny.. my uncle said need to leave but my bro said no play wif his 2 daughters. so my uncle said u hit in last seed i let them stay on. so my bro really hit it LOL then my uncle return to his seat. played till 10.45pm..

DAY 2-morning quickly rushed down my dad's side ah ma's hse cos my dad ordered the buffet de so need to settle.. the buffet came earlier then expected so my dad called to pay later when they collect.. so went there ate buffet played carrom board.. played a while then didnt play.. then we all waited to go for visitation. all of us super excited cos can go visit PPG HSE (proud proud girl) LOL!! her hse like maze de.. frm young we visit 3 hses till now.. this year visited more.. day 2 visited 3 hses... 1st hse got 3 dogs!! so cute.. go ppg house all of us played wif her bro boogle lol.. then after visitation went home, some relatives followed. then 7pm we left to go grace's hse!! oh ya grace cried when i mentioned bringing her to see swimming pool at my hse cos she fell in the swimming pool at her hse when everyone was in the living room.. she juz stepped out then went in the 1.5m pool so scary. luckily her cousin saw and her parents pulled her up.. frm then on she got phobia of water.. so poor thing. oh ya we played pictionary at there cos aunt brought.. super funny. we laughed like mad. my bro got this word cocktail... he didnt know how to draw cocktail. he tot is that canned cocktail.. so he drew a stickman wif that thingy urinating dots rite. his grp pple thinking wad on earth is it cant guess then once they knew the answer was cocktail everyone was laughing like hell LOL. then my this 28 year old cousin so funny. haf to act out grandma that word.. so he and my bro acted hunchback and wif a walking stick then my cousin added the action of the beard thingy infront.. so we were like "old man, grandpa.." turned out it was grandma.. we were like wad grandma where got beard la LOL! after playing we went home at 10pm..

DAY 3-reached uncle hse at 12noon. found the bbq pit but not bbqing.. they called buffet.. ate le then got this chai deng mi.. guess the chinese riddle. WHEET i guessed the one where everyone was cracking our brains WHEET! shi yi shou chuan dou pi kai. guess one word. (11 boats all shun away) answer is bi (wall that chiang bi). after that went up played pictionary again enjoyed it!! then some left le.. we went visiting wif grandparents, 28 year old cousin and laura wanna tag along so her mum was saying u wan follow.. no milk, no mama papa, halfway cannot cry then say wanna go home LOL.. went 2 hses to visit also went aunt hse visit shun bian since same area.. after that went serangoon gardens that chicken rice restaurant to eat dinner at 7pm.. then laura's family and xinyi's family came to meet and eat.. after dinner went aunty lily's hse pai nian.. nicholas and perline all changed looks lol.. all so tall. 185cm and 168cm!!! after that went ah girl's (cousin) hse to pass her smthg. never talk to her so long le ever since jc days lor. then went home..

tt's all the new year visitation!!

i cant stand pple in sheep clothings. so fake pls.. so cheap la dots..

31st Jan-met mel finally!! had a great day catching up.. hope to meet up again soon!!!

27th Jan-MY BDAY! thnks all for the wishes. my phone just kept vibrating LOL. i got awake by the vibrations in the morning.. and i wanted to celebrate at ah ma's hse but dad sick stayed home.. sis project.. in the end didnt celebrate there. then i collected my own cake as well dots. so celebrated at home then mum used magarine wrote my name on the cake SWEET! then my aunt, grace's mum said she bought me a mug but forget to bring..

took pic wif grace :) whenever pple wan to take pic she purposely close her eyes LOL. but this she didnt =)

the mug my aunt gave.. cute =)

26th Jan-ordered my own cake dots rite in the end cant put name at all cos need 3 days advanced notice sad la.

25th Jan-went out wif junhao for bday celebration.. thnks for dinner and gift.

video of sachi playing wif slipper lols

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HEamTVrhGwo



this is trailer of ah long pte ltd super funny

http://www.mediacorpraintree.com/ahlong/trailer.htm

wow looking back at the past posts & drafts i wrote, for some i seriously cannot rmb wad happened probably cos it's 2 plus years ago.. this blog was here since 2004.. long haha when i was sec 4 till now unbelievable.. it contains all my anger, sadness everything.. it's like my personal diary.. i cant believe the way i wrote last time haha.. time passes, ive grown.. more matured? hope so. i cant let my life just be a slacking one again. i wanna it be like my sec 1 and 2 life where they're goals in my life which i wanna achieve and i did it.. anw life starts to pick up for me again =) im seriously motivated to do well in everything.. the past few years wasnt like tt since sec 3.. my life was a happy go lucky kind. i treat everything so lightly.. no motivation at all. i think i was a failure and i seriously did. everyone has no faith in me.. everyone seems to haf given up hope on me even me myself.. so right now im slowly picking up.. moral support is impt.. thanks for telling me im the best to u =) everyone wish for their life to be smooth flowing.. in life there bounds to be failures hence right now i always believe that after failures there 'll always be sunshine after tt.. it'll never be failures all the way.. sunshine after rain =)) hope u study hard too and both of us will strive and work hard together to build a future together =)

YEAHHHHH im SO HAPPY!!! GRATSSS TO HIM!!!! dun think too much k. last time i promise..

bananas in pyjamas.. B2/B1 are u thinking wad im thinking?

muah not scared of sachi alr unless she turns aggressive. anw took this while she's sleeping in my room cos both my bro and i in room then she tired jiu sleep le..

this my bro took in car while waiting for parents..

i realised my cousin's gf's bday's also 28 jan oo.. jan rox lol.. fann wong's bday on 27th too lol. i shall continue today since he said so.. wad to blog i rmb got things but forgot.. omgosh im feeling so cold now cos of aircon.. and im sick as well.. throat itchy.. got cough but i tried hard not to cough.. control cos later mum hear i cough sure scold de better not..

UUUUUUU!!! =P i got a super frequent reader..

seod eurt evol yllser tsixe? Ylbaborp s’ti tsuj a lufhsiw gnikniht no ym trap. I tnac ekat ti nehw ehs seod taht.. daw seod ehs naw yltcaxe? i tnac pleh tub kniht s'ti no esoprup soc i tnca pleh tub leef eht neerg eppla. onon i tnac yas taht.. yhw si ti taht ehs swonk tba ti YHW YHW? hgis ehs nac egaruocne u.. daw nca i od? semitemos i yllaer tsuj hsiw ot pets kcab ro esle siht lliw reven eb gnidne. gnirednow yhw u reven llac.. detnioppasid. mi tsuj oot das dna ome ot ees taht enecs niaga.. on doom ot yalp sm.. on doom ot yalp noaip.. i zuj gnab ta ehy syek.. hgis hguone si hguone.. ebyam i dlhs pets kcab.. hgis tub i tnac raeb oot..

oh ya on jan 13 sunday, my cousin celebrated her bday.. this coming sunday my turn HAHA. last sat went east point mall cos mum need to pass and settle clothes stuffs to some boutiques there. so my bro and i went pet safari to look ard.. spent more than 1 hour there zz. saw a super big dog tt looks like a polar bear and the size is even bigger SCARY! oh ya eastpoint mall at that time got this S-POP thingy then saw many superstar pple there.. they look the same on tv and real life.. yesterday at grandma's hse got relatives frm hainan island staying there. it's my grandma's elder sis's daughter and the daughter's 2 children. horror day lols. shall not talk abt it. oh ya then my oldest cousin said he's getting married on 31st aug then he said he bought 99 roses to propose to her so SWEET! cant wait for the wedding. oh ya heard that my grandma's nephew's 2 sons meaning my 2 distant cousins are getting married in april. both bros getting married same time.. and oh ya emily's bro's getting married as well and im helping out yipppiee.. this year so many weddings.. wonder when im getting married lols. cant wait for my cousin's wedding!! last nite super tired cos frm morning till nite then back. then studied econs till wanna sleep. sorry for missing yr calls again argh then make u wait till next morning sorry.

i feel so helpless.. yea any hurdles we'll overcome it.. it's like a test for us..

so saddening to hear tt frm her. anw juz treat it as.. haiz.. at tt moment when i was saying i really wanted to juz cry but i stopped. why cant she be more mature and understanding. sadded la. im alr disappointed wif that post of hers now another one. ive always been keeping it inside.. everything i dun voice here.. this is a public site la everyone can see... it goes the same way as true love.. everyone got different way of showing it. sigh.

anw im not really tt scared of sachi le.. haha. anw i was also afraid cos she's always howling. thnks for my sis for assuring me that the dog is still a puppy then still new to surrounding. thnks for asking her fren.. 2 nites ago i got frightened la cos first nite she howled then at 3.25 my sister woke me up cos she stomachache then she knocked on door i got a shock. then it's like i wanna open door see how is she but i dun dare cos i scared ZZZ. in the end i cant sleep at all till 4 plus plus.. and i took many photos of it lol. first pic is when my parents have not bought her the playpen..

that day went mum's warehse boutique... then saw this dress.. it's a replica of the dress frm southaven.. NICE anw i tried M so it looks big lol.

dots now doing maths differentiation then i wondering why my answer so far away frm the answer then i realised that the qn i did was the answer ZZ. meaning i differentiate the answer and didnt realise it cos i turned to the answer page to check answer then forget flip back to question page so following 2 qns differentiated the answers LOL.

no matter how much ups and downs we haf.. we'll be able to overcome!! may we stand strong and firm as long as possible..

today's sachi (dog) 4th day at my hse. last nite i got freaked out by the howling sound lols dun dare sleep.. anw the female dog's only 6 mths!! i shall post the dog pic another time.

My Life
Filled wif colours once again
I see rays of light at last
The dark days are gone
The bright day marching in

All I want to let you know
No matter what happens
U hold an important place
Deep down in my heart

However it is saddening
When those words are said
It seems like racing arrows
Piercing through my heart

I am sorry for everything
Hoping for your forgiveness
For I wish u trust me in this
To settle and clear the mess

got doggieee at my hse.. female de. my sis's fren give yesterday de. so after tt at 9 plus they went out to dog shop and bought so many things back for the dog. toothbrush, toothpaste, shampoo, drinking water that thingy, dog food, dog plate (forgot wad's tt called), dog vitamins, dog hair brushes, dog collar, dog lesh etcc..
my parents super funny. my dad yesterday said something super lame which i cant rmb wad. this morning he and my mum trying to tell the dog sit down.. then my mum said it fiercely so that she will listen.. my dad's always playing wif her so my dad said look at yr gangster mummy LOL. then my mum was like wad gangster haha.
arh i feel so bad HOW. blur me put alarm wrongly again cos set it in a sleepy mode.. dunno many times le zz.. yesterday set 12.30 instead of 00.30 zzz. then woke up at 5 plus realised i slept till tt time i shocked then immediately missed call but forgot phone no vibration then cos missed call went back sleep then tot vibration then i wake up at 6.47am got 74 missed calls omgosh.. by the time i called back off le.. argh im angry wif myself..

thurs nite was quite hmm.. sorry! anw today met kn, joyce, ps at dhoby ghaut at 2pm. reached there ard 2.05 went cafe cartel to meet kn & joyce. soon ps came then we went in ourselves cos no one serving. took quite long to think wad food to order.. by the time it was past 2.30pm alr. i ordered Hawaiian Pork Chop while they ordered others. so since ps & joyce got the free flow of bread thingy so ate bread first lols. we talked and laughed alot super funny. all talking abt the waiter's hair super funny. soon all theirs came except mine then after which mine came.. when the waiter put the pork chop on my table all of us WAH lol cos it's french fries, vegs wif 3 big pieces of pork chop omgosh la. i never seen so big portion be4 leh. it seems as though it's im eating in australia. so kn and joyce took half of a piece to eat.. they're like i sure cant finish de hahaha. so eat and eat they see the pork chop so nice all say next time come again muz order tt. in the end i was the last to finish and i still left last piece and the way they see me eat and cut they dun feel like ordering next time LOL. we left the place at 4pm plus then decided to go cathy building so walked there to ben and jerry then thinking like too ex or wad then decided not to eat. so walked over to selegie that road selling soyabean.. that was my second time. still rmb that time first time went wif emily, max and his other acs classmates at 11pm then so crowded. at soyabean there we talked abt the hot spring we laughed like mad la. cos my poa teacher was saying tt time she went japan hot spring and it's family hot spring meaning one family no clothes go pao together so er xin rite. then poa teacher said they reached there they gave her a small piece of towel. she was thinking if she covers the top, bottom can see, covers bottom, top can see.. so her fren said cover yr face best cos no one can see who is it LOL. all of us laughed like mad when she said. so at the soyabean there we said and laughed la. then i was talking abt ms.. talked abt lao ah pek thingy then say end of story then they were like huh end of story.. they cant stand me lol cos i always talk wif no main pt haha.. after soyabean went back home.. kn took bus, joyce walked to bugis station.. me and ps walked to dhoby ghaut station.. anw thnks for the gift.. the earrings are lovely..

the earrings..

i wore the earrings..

see im studying..

studying maths.. writing down the formulas..
tt day wore this mango turtleneck top bought recently.. nice leh..

on monday lecture as usual.. wondering and thinking.. oh ya after sch at outram park station.. got this 50 plus years old lady holding a pack of tickets then suddenly she dropped all the tickets over the floor.. so i squatted down and helped her pick then she was like shocked zzz dots do ive the kind of dao face LOL? after tt she thanked me then i said welcome haha then i looked ard everyone looking like so surprised like tt.

wasnt online tt often alr. studying in progress LOL. suprising rite haha! anw so many chapters argh.. yea i muz not take things for granted. learnt my lesson. im still new yep.

today at outram station saw a wheelbound 50 over years old man wif his wife.. then he's so poor thing.. his actions are like those 5 year old kids.. i was seeing the way he behaves and talks even in the train he would play wif his wheelchair moving up and down.. i can see everyone felt pitiful for him.. thank God for giving me such a wonderful life :) oh ya at hougang station saw sweedy wif her bf lols. so qiao..

i shldnt let myself be affected so much.. juz treat it that she's still immature at thinking..


dont think too much k.. im always here.. right here ma.. silly!!

pissed.

on sunday went youth service late then sat first row lols. then i busy thinking and wondering lols. after church decided to make a call.. soon parents came then went hougang mall eat. went ntuc wif mum then aunt met us there oo. went iora to see then mum was telling auntie got 20% discount cos it's my bday mth lol. then my mum also tell other aunts the shoe shop also got 20% cos my bday then cards under my name ma. then yesterday my mum went somewhere bought 2 skinny jeans got 20% discount 17 bucks each only so cheap. now got black, yellow, green, blue.. after tt went aunt came along wif us went grandma's hse put those veges etc.. then my dad's sis (aunt) also follow.. so car rather cramped up lol. sent sis home after which we went my mum's boutique. my 2 aunts there trying then i packing cos on sat many different grps of pple came to buy clothes then the place very messy.. so i hanged back those clothes to the rack.. then helped mum take some clothes stock cos a wholesale lady coming to collect. then aunts try so funny la. then cos they try then put one side. i tot they dun wan.. then always hang back those clothes they wanna buy then everyone laughing lol. then i took one dress frm there!! omgosh my dad asked me try ma then i tried. it's super NICE! wear for new year. that kind of whole suit muz match wif boots lol. then brought home tt dress. after tt sent mum's sis (aunt) to bus stop then we went grandma's hse.

grandma's hse as usual. carrom board :) we played outside the hse cos inside the table was brought to the middle alr.. then squated there.. played many rds then dinner time!! after dinner dr. ho was asking my 2 year old cousin follow him & she followed cos he's gg out lol then my bro also followed then suddenly dunno why both came back. soon after tt he came back wif a cake then pass to me and he said bring in go cut let everyone eat then i was like dots. then i walked in my grandma's hse everyone asking me whose bday then i said nobody's, uncle ho buy de. then after tt we brought in carrom board cos mum cutting hair for 2 cousins - 2 & 5 years old de. then many of us there watching trying to make them sit still and talk to them cos both of them dun like to cut hair de. go salon dun even wan to cut only allow my mum to cut LOL. then ard 7 of us watching my mum cut.. then i also watching pple inside playing carrom board.. after tt i went in.. then 2 year old cousin bathe le then hor i carried her.. then she wanna sleep immediately put her head on my shoulder so cute!! then i stand and let her sleep then i juz sat down then dad took over carried her like a baby kind of position then let her sleep then i think mum put her to sleep. oh ya then ate the cake!! then they were saying celebrate my 15 year old cousin bday ba cos hers on 15 jan. she's turning 16 then she said mine also january ma then i was like zz. then in the end my cousin said too paiseh lol then we juz cut and eat. NICE CAKE. coffee flavour frm bengawan solo. after tt everyone taking turns play carrom but i didnt play. soon i played lor, i partnered wif bro then compete wif 2 uncles. won first game in less than 10 mins lol cos bro la started the game by hitting 3 seeds in zz. then the rest of the seeds he never missed at all ZZZ then my uncles said in chinese zhen de hai shi jia de lol. then second game was the last game at grandma's hse. both parties left 1 seed then everyone so tensed up. then my this uncle missed then he so funny la he aiya so loud then both hands crouched together wif legs then lie on floor backwards. everyone saw it laughing like mad LOL. then left this last seed most tense!!! then my grandma's hse those not playing all watching. more than 10 pple watching. then it's like we cant get in the last seed. then all of us were like ahhhhh damm funny!! then my uncle suddenly hit using backstroke in the seed then won. then both uncles YEA! LOL. then my bro and i aiya. after tt all of us pack and leave le.

thick and thin, we've been through them all!!!

i shld or else.. dunno wad to think of le..

today went spore conference hall for ngee ann poly's band concert. thnks jh for the tixs. both my sis and i went. i met him first cos my sis wanna find her fren.. after tt ate dinner then omgosh all kinds of insects lol. i got a fright out of my life. after tt met sis then went conference hall. not bad the concert except that the songs they played i dun really know. all i know was the revised twinkle twinkle little star.. after the whole concert.. so many pple shouting ENCORE ENCORE!! the conductor came out again and the band played another piece so nice!!! that piece i know cos all mixtures of songs. damm nice then got YMCA part also.. so cute those band pple not playing de do the YMCA actions!! reminded me of chingay 2005 when i joined as a motivator!!! after concert he sent us back home..

this is wad i wore for countdown 2008 at vivo.

yea 3 years frm now =) deal.

today's lesson was as usual. thnks for yr morning call haha i was shocked!!! omgosh i wanna complain to SBS la. i was waiting for 151 express bus then saw it behind the bus 87 then both buses came to the bus stop. so i walked to 151 express bus and i was the only one taking. i was walking towards then the bus juz drove off. i was like !!! then no choice haf to take normal 151. i need to study hard le and i will cos someone ask me to!!!

omgosh i said it.. racing heart.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

HAPPY BDAY XIAOYAN JIEJIE!

2007 has come to an end finally. 2008 is here!! 2007 was full of ups and downs, happiness and unhappiness. ive learnt plenty of things and ive grown stronger. 2007 is a year where many things happened and frm there i learnt many precious lessons. i wont be that again, i'll change for the better. ive many resolutions hahas..
2008 RESOLUTIONS
1. Find a job
2. Be stronger
3. Do well for prelims and exams
4. Be more diligent
5. Pass my practical for driving
6. Hope to go for piano practical exam
7. Meet up with my sec sch frens
8. Have better time management
9. Get involved in more church activities
10. Take up new activities
11. Be happy always no matter what happens
12. Enjoy myself in 2008!!! FUN!!! WOOHO!!! (lol my cousins typed those<<<)

yesterday was FUN!! reached home at 3.20am only. super tired but we're all high.

last nite, we planned to go for countdown at vivo wif my aunt, uncle & laura. my another 2 cousins wenyi & xinyi wanted to go.. then my another cousin, xiaoyan jiejie wanted to come as well. she offered to drive us there but after which she said she's gg there wif her frens first after which she'll meet us. wenyi & xinyi came over to my hse at 8 plus. dinner then we left home at 9.30pm to go to my uncle's hse.. reached there then my uncle said can go down straightaway.. so went vivo.. crowded like mad. took lift to 3rd floor which is the open area. wow so many pple.. we squeezed all the way to near the barrier.. can only see the stage and the seats.. behind pple squeezing like mad then my uncle said so loudly beware of yr bags LOL. then i also scared of pple anyhow u know cos i was wearing tube dress. then there're like 4 children plus me then those pple ard us looking cos my cousins talking loudly especially my bro. then my 5 year old cousin, laura wanted to squeeze rite in front lol soo funny la. she squeezing like mad then her parents stopped her. my uncle asked if we want to go walk ard first then come back since it's only 10.40.. so we decided to walk first.. went second floor which was the playgrd.. my cousins and bro played.. then went in vivo shopping area.. walked awhile then went back to playgrd then 3rd floor.. then my cousins all walking in the pool zz. so i no choice also went in. i odd one out. only 2 or 3 children there plus my 3 cousins and bro.. then we took photos at the pool. so many pple facing the pool then watching. got this small boy kept on spraying water zz then my bro all wet.. then both of them splashing each other.. after tt xinyi & i walked back to uncle there then she called xiaoyan jiejie. then we went fetch xiaoyan jiejie outside ezone. brought her to there then we went food republic drink tea, coffee. then got this late 20s guy kept taking video of us dots. all of us faster juz turn our heads away.. then soon it was 11.50pm we quickly went out to the open area then worse man the crowd's until the door.. squeezed then still far frm barrier cant see anything only can see the back of the stage.. then we decided go pool there. then suddenly got abit of fireworks then at the view of pool there walked there full like mad zz. juz waited there. suddenly i heard the countdown.. everyone 5,4,3,2,1 then HAPPY NEW YEAR & HAPPY BDAY to XIAOYAN JIEJIE! then fireworks. so nice!!! then everyone shaking hands then sing songs.. then emily called me lols. we took pics then after tt many pple left.. we also left went playgrd again.. cousins playing. me and xiaoyan jiejie juz look and take pics of them. super funny at there. then went burger king to eat.. ate ard till 1.45am.. then left to return to my uncle's hse.. played uno.. fix jigsaw.. then parents fetched my bro, me and 3 cousins. fetched xiaoyan jiejie back first.. then 2 cousins stayed at my hse overnite. they slept wif me.. reached home 3.20 then 4am get ready to sleep but both cousins cant sleep. then xinyi played songs then 3 of us singing then they dancing lol. then 4.30 then sleep. 8 something they woke me up.. meddled wif my phone like mad.. then i continue sleeping.. at 9 something wake me up.. 11 something showed me my phone dots la took me sleeping and put on the phone wallpaper zz.. blah blah... yesterday was FUN!! took many pictures. another day then upload.

these are today's photos for micro gathering. took it frm cheryl cos mine got probs opening.

outside starbucks here taking then actually jasmine's taking me and cheryl de.. then she said the pple at the back do funny actions LOL.

me and cheryl.. i rmbed we're best frens in sec 1 and 2.

the 10 of us girls HAHA. damm cool.

left side frm bottom: xuan ni, wei yun, emily, limin

right side frm bottom: vanessa hong, vanessa tay, yun qian, jasmine, cheryl, me

today supposed to go church hence i would be late for gathering but in the end didnt go church.. so quickly get ready for gathering.. meeting at 12 but.. all of us were late lols. only xn was early.. the rest of us were late lols. then on the way at cityhall gg up the escalator saw cheryl lols then i was on the line wif emily somemore.. then i juz waited for her cos she was rite at the back.. omgosh she changed alot.. her physical appearance haha. then both of us were the latest.. we reached then saw jasmine, limin, xn, weiyun.. then tried calling miss hee but she didnt pick up.. so we went off first..walked to marina sq.. met emily at there. wow i realised everyone in pl all looks toot last time then come out of pl everything also change.. hairstyle, dressing.. all become so feminine lor haha.. cool. in the end we ate at swensens cos cafe cartel dun haf a table for 9 pple.. then sat there ate.. finished eating le.. suddenly yq, vanessa hong and tay came.. i shocked to see them.. didnt know vanessa tay would be coming as well.. then 3 of them as so much changes la.. all so feminine.. all long hair.. wearing skirts, shorts wadever.. all dress up so nice haha.. then 10 of us sat and we had fun talking.. then asked one of the waiter to take pictures for us.. all 10 girls lol. the waiter had to hold 5 cameras LOL. we posed for so long haha. after which we went walk ard.. walked to arcade.. wanna play pool there but some dun wan.. so wanted to play arcade then like quite inappropriate.. we're dressed up ma.. so walked off decided to find one place to sit down.. saw long john, bk, kfc.. no space.. went in mac.. saw a long table but no chairs. it's like a grp of 10 walking in then we juz went out to the open air of mac. then saw starbucks there inside no space at all.. so we juz sat the open air starbucks. the atmosphere quite cold la.. then we seniors giggling to ourselves dunno how to start talking wif the 3 of them.. so in the end talked abit.. then cheryl said take photos since the backgrd there is esplanade.. so we brought out our cameras then some took photos. the 5 of us took.. 4 cameras lols. then soon the 7 of us took cos the 3 of them went toilet.. then got 6 cameras there for wy to take lols. we asked 2 guys to help us take.. they shocked haha so many cameras.. one of them joked 1 dollar for one camera haha. then 3 of them came back.. they took photos.. after which some went off.. 5 of them went off.. left 5 of us.. we went walked ard marina sq.. went dorothy perkins.. jasmine tried jeans there then bought one.. the rest of us so tired lols. then went home after tt.. i took till potong pasir, dad fetched me to grandma's hse..
as usual alot of us.. everyone is present except my cousin cos she's working temp job then too tired.. my grandma's hse is olden days semi detached de.. so super small.. but u know got 29 of us in the hse so crowded..then they bring out the big dining table as usual.. all parents sitting there.. 2 by 2 as in husband, wife.. really nice. then there were 20 plates of dishes on the table.. alot man.. cos my uncle's back frm thailand then he cooked alot cos usually he cook de but ever since he went thailand all the ladies cook.. then it was bday celebration time again. my cousin's 23rd bday!! her bday's on 1st jan.. nice cake frm four seasons.. took pictures, sang songs again.. then we distributing gifts frm beijing lots of it.. keychains, chopsticks, shirts etc.. hang ard.. chit chat.. went off after tt. haiz my com cant open the memory card so cant upload the pics.. tmr gg countdown wif my relatives.. celebrate 2008!!!!

went changi village for early dinner. as usual 2 big stingrays, fried egg, lala, kang kong.. wif my favourite soya bean drink.. then my sis bought fried wanton.. then she went support wj's mum juice stall.. went buy fried sweet potato, tapioca.. went home then left again to town. went isetan mango.. bought tops and skirt.. necklace too.. nice!!

today went cycling wif joshua and bro at east coast.. cycled 2 hours.. funny la haha. after cycling went pedicure.. reached home at 11..


my bro and i both haha eating that candy cane. i too kiddy alr LOL.

ive to do it the hard way..

another gathering on 2nd Jan 2008 lunch.. wif diana... anything contact me thnks!!!

beijing trip post coming up!!!
i tried my very best alr and im not so emo alr!!
no choice ive to do it the hard way.

MICROMOUSE GATHERING on 30th DEC!
lunch at marina square most likely.. thinking of that ice cream buffet thingy cum steamboat.. anw ard there like citylink also got plenty of food.. can see u all after such a long time!!! anything contact me or xn..

i changed my blogskin to beijing scenary de so nice. anw still in the midst of blogging my beijing trip lols. at day 3 only haha. super long. enjoyed myself very much. the best trip ever. best tour group.. best tour guide. everyone's a joker even the ah gong also. the other family ah ma so cute she's 63 yet so young in mind when we talked to her. since 13 of us left beijing first the other 8 leaving the next day. the 8 of them sent us to airport. then everyone is like bu se de. everyone byes here and there. really bu se de lor.. sad la..

this trip makes me happy once and for all and made me think thru many stuffs.
-im not clinging onto it alr. tt's enough.
-haiz stonefish still.. dun wan to give up fine.
-i cant stand it.. so.. ah.. help.. i alr told u liao future i dunno!!
-another irritating argh. let me think of reasons.

im at beijing now!! using sis com cos she brought but cant go blogspot only can go blogger dots. the blogger in chinese somemore lols. beijing super cold.. freezing lols. the river all frozen.. but no snow sobs. but can see traces of snow cos last week snowed. but here fun.. today went forbidden city and tian an men to see.. the palace so big man.. SUPER BIG. the yu hua yuan also got haha saw on tv now can see rl.. anw everything also can see.. like emperor, empress, empress dowager, concubines sleeping rooms.. prince studying place etc.. many stuffs and interesting history.. tmr gg great wall of china and hot spring haha.. continue after i come back..